


The Bucket List

by Cjskay



Category: NCT (Band), NCT Dream
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Cannibalism, Coming of Age, Crack, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, Horny Teenagers, Implied Sexual Content, Incorrect ages, M/M, Mild Smut, Multi, Murder, Mutual Pining, NCT Dream - Freeform, Nct dream ensemble - Freeform, Non-Linear Narrative, Runaway, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Teenage Pregnancy, There wont be a happy ending, Toxic Relationships, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-31 05:32:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 63,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15112826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cjskay/pseuds/Cjskay
Summary: “Fuck it, we’ll be in prison soon anyways.”In which an ill boy who never leaves his house, a flirty thief with baby mama drama, and a suicidal hitman go on an expedition.While on the run from the police, of course.Or, alternatively: Jeno is dying so Jaemin and Renjun help him cross off as many things from his bucket list as he can before his life comes to an end, things just got complicated in the process.





	1. 1 | Renjun

Sudden consciousness early in the morning is a strange thing, Renjun decides. He hadn’t dreamt of anything last night, or at least, he doesn’t recall doing so.

 

When he opens his eyes his vision is blurry, but he can still make out the figure of a person hovering above him. Renjun inhales deeply, trying to gain control of his senses. Instead of clear vision, though, all he gets is a fat waft of the putrid artificial lavender scent being emitted from the dispensers set up in random corners of the house. It had been completely his father’s idea, to which Renjun disagreed, although of course his distaste towards the scent did not stop his father from insisting they get the dispensers installed.

 

Renjun crinkles his nose in disgust, letting out a long yawn while stretching his body in every weird direction that felt pleasant. His soft silky sheets greet the pads of his fingers when he finally stops moving and relaxes further into his bed. His favorite maid handmade the sheets and gifted them to Renjun her last day of work two years ago, he hasn't taken them off since, besides to have them washed, of course.

A coppery taste rests unusually well on Renjun’s tongue, and every inhale taste faintly of something. What? He’s not quite sure, but after one swallow, he recognizes the flavor as blood. _Ah_ , he was biting his tongue in his sleep again. If his mother were here then Renjun would have an ear full of scolding for his awful habit. If.

 

A delightful coo reaches his ears, reminding him of the other presence in his room. It’s muffled, drowned out by the sleepy haze that has taken over Renjun. He has to strain his ears but eventually he can make out the sound of a woman's gentle voice. It's sweet, but forced, a method to coax the boy awake. _"Renjunnie~ c'mon wake up sleepyhead,"_ it calls out. Although Renjun is sure the woman is speaking at a normal volume, her voice reaches his ears as an echo, a mere dulled background noise.

 

After a few moments, Renjun decides to finally open his eyes again. He blinks away the blurriness and uses his hands to rub away any crust that may have accumulated around his eye sockets overnight. The blurry figure above him happens to be a woman, a very pretty one at that. She seems vaguely familiar, but Renjun can’t seem to remember who exactly she is.

 

"Your dad is waiting for you downstairs. He told me to wake you up," she says; her voice is high pitched and giddy, creating one of the most cringe-worthy tones Renjun has ever heard. A few words is all it takes for him to remember who she is, her voice being the most memorable thing about her, aside from her double-Ds. Debra, one of the newest additions to his father’s girlfriends, or as Renjun likes to call them, the knockoff house bunnies (rip Hugh Hefner, may his soul Rest In Peace).

  
"Of course he did," the teen mutters, mostly to himself. By that time Debra has already made her way towards the exit of his room. She turns on her heels, raising both eyebrows at the teen.

 

“Hmm?’’

 

“He usually forces the new girls to wake me up, thinks it’ll make me warm up to them. It’s a ridiculous thought, and it never works,” Renjun says, his tone unintentionally rude. He anticipates her response, heart beating fast for no reason. Rationally, he knows none of his father’s girlfriends would lay a hand on him, not because they’re nice and tolerant people, but because they’re money hungry and his father was their main source of 'food'. Regardless of the complicated relationship Renjun and his father have, Mr. Huang has always made sure Renjun was safe.

 

“Hmm,” she repeats, quieter this time. She then exits the room, shutting the door behind herself, not hard enough to be rude, but enough to send a message. Renjun lets out a relieved sigh. He was mildly fearful for nothing, again.

 

Most of the house bunnies kiss up to Renjun, praying he’ll put in a good word or something. He never does, never has, and never will. They’re all fake, gold-digging bimbos who don’t deserve his time.

 

If getting out of bed in his groggy state is bad enough, hardly three steps away from his bed he face plants directly into his expensive carpeted floor. The resulting pain in his chin is tolerable, but annoying as shit.

 

What a _ten-out-of-freaking-ten_ way to start his day, whoopdeedoo.

 

Renjun grounds loudly, remembering the reason why he’s up at the asscrack of dawn; _“your dad is waiting for you downstairs.”_

 

Renjun leaves his room with a deep frown. Surely today won’t get much worse.

 

He was wrong, so, _so_ painfully wrong.

 

After he finally manages to practically drag his body down his spiral stairs to the main dining hall, where his father impatiently waits, he seats himself across his father at their unnecessarily long glass table. The duo are not alone in the large room, two of Mr. Huang’s girlfriends, Debra included, sit on both sides of him, staring so intensely at the man that Renjun is convinced their eyes will pop out their sockets.

 

Dozens of plates are laid out on the table, all filled with various breakfast foods, all untouched, all waiting to be feasted on by the mansion’s occupants. The amount of food on this table alone probably could solve world hunger, and there’s no way the four beings seated at the table will be able to finish it, especially considering the woman tend to eat little to nothing in order to maintain their petite appearance. Fools.

 

"You let your food get cold," Mr. Huang's voice sounds like always, disappointed. He stares at Renjun and says nothing else while he continues to eat his breakfast, briefly glancing down at his Rolex.

 

It's unnecessary, really, all of it is. The large amounts of food that are bound to leave behind lots of leftovers that go straight into the trash, the 9 cars parked along their half-mile driveway, the 5 floors, 19 rooms, 6 bathrooms, 2 kitchens, and 4 living rooms, the list could go on. Renjun needed none of it, Renjun wanted nothing to with this damn mansion.  
  
"May I ask the reasoning for my requested presence?" Renjun finally speaks up, using the most polite tone he can muster, choosing to ignore the food being indirectly offered to him. He fiddles with his fingers under the table, trying not to show any signs of visible annoyance.

  
Mr. Huang moves his food around for a bit longer, the loud unpleasant sound of his metal fork scraping the plate echoing throughout the large room. He clears his throat, “I’ve put a lot of thought into this for the past week, and I’ve decided it’d be best for you to begin attending school again.”

 

Renjun’s mouth hangs open in shock, he’s speechless. There’s absolutely no way his father can be serious about this, this has to be some type of lame really late April fools joke. Renjun crosses his fingers under the table, hoping to god this is fake.

 

“I’ll be sending you to BluePort for the remainder of the semester, the reviews are good and the student success rates are even better, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it there, son.”

 

It’s not fake, not a joke, he’s a thousand percent serious.

 

What.

 

The.

 

Frick.

 

“I… why?” Renjun says, confused and shocked.

 

“Why?” Mr. Huang repeats. “Because Renjun, all you do is sit in your room and paint. I have to force you out of bed most mornings. I’m concerned about you and I want you to socialize a bit, make some friends, find a girlfriend or something, _anything._ ”

 

_‘I’m concerned about you’_

 

That may have been the most humorous thing Renjun’s father has ever said, but to be fair he wasn’t a very comedic man to begin with.

 

“Do you even have any ideas of what career path you want?” His father asks.

 

 _Yes of course I do,_ Renjun wants to argue, though he realizes he has no clue what kind of career he’d be interested and successful in. And truthfully, he hasn’t thought much about any future, aside from constantly debating if he wants one at all.

 

Renjun chooses to stare down at the table and shake his head instead of verbally answering, he felt less pathetic that way.

 

“That what I thought,” Mr. Huang says. He then takes a bite of his breakfast, chewing and swallowing before continuing, “Your first day is Monday. Your uniform and necessary supplies will be provided upon arrival.”

 

And that’s it, that’s all he says before he goes back to eating. Renjun has no room to argue, no choice over this irrational decision his Father decided to make. It’s absolutely ridiculous, Renjun is already eighteen and there’s only a few weeks left of school. This cannot be happening. _Him_ going to school _now?_ The idea is beyond absurd.

 

Deep down Renjun knows his father is right —he always is— and Renjun really should go out and explore the wild adventures of teen years, find a passion, find some friends, and maybe even a girlfriend (boyfriend, possibly. A few too many ‘accidental’ clicks on gay pornhub videos have him a bit confused at the moment.)

 

Renjun has only argued with his father’s decisions a handful of times, mostly because Mr. Huang is a very intimidating man, and also because Renjun is a very anxious, fearful, lanky boy who stands no chance against him. On rare occasions, though, Renjun chooses a different route: a proposal that sounds like a compromise, but actually benefits himself more (well atleast Renjun thinks so, but most of the time he regrets ever opening his mouth). Now, happens to be one of those rare occasions.

 

“I won’t go to BluePort,” Renjun states, trying to sound like he has even an ounce of authority.

 

“Well I say you will, so you will.”

 

“No.”

 

“ _Yes._ ”

 

“N-”

 

“Renjun I’m not doing this with you,” Mr. Huang says.

 

Renjun pauses, attempting to construct proper argument points in the little time he has. The words still manage to leave his mouth before he’s ready for them to.

 

“I’ll go to school if I can go to the same district I went to elementary school in.” Renjun holds his breath for a moment, analyzing his father’s reaction. “I’ll go if I can go back to Crestview,” he restates. “And that is the _only_ way I’ll go.”

 

Mr. Huang chuckles a deep, low, scary chuckle that echoes throughout the large room. He stands up from his chair and walks over to Renjun’s spot across the table, his dress shoes making his footsteps go _Clack! Clack! Clack!_

 

Renjun, too, stands up, trying to match with his father’s strong presence. But the way his father confidently stands heads taller than Renjun, overpowering him physically and mentally, makes Renjun want to kneel on the floor and beg to be forgiven for his mild disobedience. He doesn’t.

 

Mr. Huang bends down to his son’s eye level, the women by his side pick at their nails or continue to eat, completely disinterested with the argument going on.

 

“You think a little boy like you can handle Crestview? You may have went there when you were In elementary school, but you’ve grown weeker now. Ain’t that funny? You’re supposed to be growing up, yet all these years you’ve really just been shrinking into the pathetic disappointment you are now. You can't handle it.” His father speaks with such a vulgar tone and it feels like venom to Renjun. It’s like he’s being slapped in the face over, and over, and over again as the words repeat in his head.

 

_‘The pathetic disappointment you are now.’_

 

Tears form and burn in Renjun’s eyes without spilling over, his stubborness refuses to let them fall. “I can handle it, you’ll see.”

  
  


And that’s how Renjun is where he is now, hugging his custom made Gucci backpack tightly to his chest as he stares at the sight before him. Crestview resembled a wasteland, quite literally. There’s two large trash bins in front of the entrance. One is knocked over, its insides scattered all over the floor, emitting a putrid smell. The building itself seems to be falling apart, the bricks look worn down and some are even cracked. Renjun wonders how the government even let a school get this bad, but he doesn’t have enough time to question such a thing right now.

 

Renjun wrinkles his nose, taking a few experimental steps forward with his new Doc Martens.

 

_‘You’ve grown weaker now.’_

 

Renjun is determined to, for once, prove his father wrong. _‘You’ll win this time, Renjun’_ he tells himself. He repeats it in his head like a mantra, especially when hardly three steps into the school’s entrance, a large herd of seemingly angry students runs past him. There’s at least forty teens beginning to form a crowd down the hallway.

 

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” They chant.

 

Renjun goes on his tippy toes to see the act of violence he assumes is happening, but he can't see past the crowd. His body itches to join the crowd and feed his curiosity, he’s always been a little bit of a drama leech, but he has a task at hand. So with tense, hunched shoulders he curls into himself, death-gripping his Gucci backpack and continuing his journey to the office.

 

The highschool is somewhat familiar. His old elementary was just across the street, so his first lame excuse of a field trip had been a tour of the high school. Looking back on it now, he realizes how poorly funded his school was, and still is. Eight year old him had been excited nonetheless. Ten years later though, Renjun is less than delighted to be here.

 

It doesn’t take long to get to the office, considering the size of the small building. He takes a deep breath, preparing himself to step inside, his hand resting on the nob.

 

_Inhale, you got this Renjun._

 

_Exhale, it’s just school Renjun._

 

_Inhale, you got this Renjun._

 

_Exhale, just open the door Renjun._

 

Renjun gasps when the door is pulled open from the opposite direction. He jolts back in shock.

 

“You looked kinda stupid standing there doing breathing exercises.”

 

Renjun’s eyes land on possibly one of the goofiest looking human beings in the entire world. He has bright red hair and a torn yet vibrant green polka-dot oversized sweater that hangs off his shoulder.

 

The boy blinks at him, expecting a response of some sort, but Renjun fails to do anything other than open and close his mouth like some kind of fish, so the boy continues.

 

“The front desk lady isn’t here today. And the principals and deans are busy trying to calm down the student version of real life Mortal Kombat, so who ever you were looking for isn’t here.” The teen informs him, stepping aside so Renjun can see for himself that the room is, indeed, vacant.

 

“Unless, you were looking for me. In that case, you came to the right place. I’m Donghyuck,” The boy- Donghyuck- doesn’t offer his hand like expected. He just steps inside the office and sits down on the swivel chair behind the front desk, presumably meant for the previously mentioned ‘desk lady’. Donghyuck leans back on the chair with his hands placed behind his head, kicking his feet up onto the big desk in front of him. “You may have a seat,” he says, changing his voice weirdly to do what Renjun assumes is an imitation.

 

Renjun awkwardly complies, seating himself on one of the three worn down chairs available to him. “So, uh…”

 

When Renjun fails to properly form a sentence, creating an uncomfortable silence, Donghyuck breaks the ice by stating the obvious, “You’re new here.”

Renjun can’t even confirm the accusation because Donghyuck is already asking more questions. “Where’d you transfer from? Was your old school rich? Because you look rich. Why are you here now? Are you a freshman? Ya look like one. And why transfer so late in the year? It’s like April already.” Donghyuck gasps as if he’d suddenly witnessed the most shocking thing on the world, “Unless you got expelled! Because that would make tons of more sense. But you don’t look like you’d cause harm. Unless you do, I can’t tell but-“

 

Loud screaming voices cut Donghyuck off and he stops interrogating Renjun- _thank god._ Then Donghyuck is rushing up from the swivel chair he was relaxed in, and running to sit in the chair next to Renjun. He sits with an unusually straight posture that does not fit his characteristics well at all, his hands intertwined in his lap.

 

An angry lady storms into the small office, dragging a bruised boy behind her by his white hood. The boy she’s dragging, too, looks quite pissed.

 

“Sit down right now, boy,” The woman demands, pushing the boy in the direction of the last seat left in the room, next to Renjun. “I will be right back. And don’t you dare move up from this seat.”

 

And just like that she’s gone again, slamming the door shut behind her. The boy grunts, crossing his arms.

 

Donghyuck is staring at the boy with a disgusted look, obviously not pleased about his arrival either.

 

“What the hell are you looking at, dumb fuck?” The boy’s tone matches the grumpy look on his face.

 

“A dickhead,” comes Donghyuck’s responding insult, which was obviously poorly thought out.

 

“Yeah, I bet you’re use to seeing those, considering how often you suck Mark’s.”

 

“That’s just a rumor!” Donghyuck defends, standing up from his spot next to Renjun to stomp his foot on the floor.

 

Renjun watches from the middle, eyes flicking between the two, confused at the sudden intrusion and conflict. He watches as the boy gets up with just as much fury.

 

“Whatever. I’m out.”

 

With that, the nameless boy storms out the office, purposely bumping Donghyuck’s shoulder in the process, not caring about the scary lady’s earlier commands.

 

Donghyuck huffs, sitting back down next to Renjun with a pout. Renjun waits five seconds, the amount of time he deems appropriate before questioning the situation, “What was that all about?”

 

Donghyuck shrugs, “Stupid Jaemin. I’ve always hated his guts.” That’s all he says, and then resumes staring at the wall ahead, keeping the irritated pout on his face.

 

The door slams open suddenly, the lady from earlier running back in with a different bruised teen behind her. “God damnit! where the hell is Jaemin?”

 

Donghyuck jerks so fast out of his seat he almost trips, “Oh my god Mark are you okay?!”

 

Mark, the new addition to today’s episode of _‘people who enter the office and confuse Renjun because he’s literally just trying to start his first day of school who the hell are these people?’_ , appears to be seething with anger. The lady holding him, who seems to have a habit of dragging in angry teenagers, has not calmed down in the slightest. She starts to yell, and that’s all the hint that Renjun needs to evacuate.

 

Slipping out of the office was easy enough, no one was paying attention to him anyways, too focused on the hectic situation taking place. Now only one problem remains, where to go?

 

The hallways have emptied out and Renjun has no idea what class he’s suppose to be in. He does have one place in mind, though. A place he hasn’t been to in years.

 

He walks out the front door, only briefly worried about getting into trouble, then he remembers that the authority at Crestview wasn’t exactly good at having… authority.

 

Renjun doesn’t remember to way there, but his feet seem to be leading him in the right direction.

  
  


The park has always been a quite dull, gloomy place. As a young child, Renjun was the only one who frequently visited the pathetic playground. Something about the secluded area attracted him, made him feel safe and unbothered.

 

This was the place he could always run to when his father came home bleeding, drunk, and angry, or when his mom is crying too loudly behind the couch, or when they fought over things Renjun didn’t understand. He came here when he found out his mom was sick, when the Lee family threatened his family with a lawsuit, when they got evicted from their house and moved into their truck, when his mom passed away, and he even came here when he found a chopped off finger in the pocket of his father’s discarded shirt.

 

Renjun discovered this place when he was seven. He had been running around in the woods after school and spotted a house he had no idea existed. At the time he thought it was huge, especially since he was living out of his Father’s pickup truck, now he knows it’s a normal size. No one lived there, and Renjun is almost certain that no one ever has, but the house looked anything but new. It was void of any furniture or sign of occupancy, borning, in Renjun’s opinion. The backyard, as Renjun soon found out, was where the real treasure was.

 

It was a simple man-made playground that consisted of a small slide, a singular swing, and a sandpit. The sandpit didn’t look too appealing, and if Renjun is being honest the playground itself was very lacking, but it happened to be just what he needed to survive his childhood years, his very own sanctuary. Currently, it also happens to be what he needs to survive today’s confusing events.

 

Renjun sits on what’s left of the slide, his body barely fitting on the curvy plastic. The only half of the slide left is decorated with dark, black burn marks. The plastic on the side looks as if it was dripping and somehow froze midway. Once Renjun settles fully onto the slide he notices it barely holds his weight, so he opts to just sitting on the patchy dead grass beside it.

 

The day his ‘sanctuary’ burned down will forever be stored in his memory, no matter how hard he tries to erase it.

 

_Bright flashes Auburn, orange, red, red, red, and red. At this point all he could see was red, it was everywhere, blocking his vision of what was once his favorite playground._

 

_The sight was more mesmerizing to the young boy than it was scary. He was entranced by the fire, simply fascinated in the flicker and waves of the flames. He reached his hand closer, smiling at the warmth that radiated off of it._

 

_Closer,_

 

_Closer,_

 

_Closer he reached._

 

_So close,_

 

_He could almost touch it._

 

_If he just reached a little closer,_

 

_Closer,_

 

_Closer, almost there_

 

_Closer, the pads of his fingers burn, a hot, hot pain, but he can’t bring himself to retract his hand._

 

_Just a little closer and maybe he can touch it, grasp it_

 

_Closer,_

 

_Closer,_

 

A twig snaps in the distance. Renjun’s head turns towards the direction the sound came from. At first all he sees is the trees that have always been there, but upon further investigation he can see the little piece of white fabric poking out from behind the dead bark of an average circumference tree.    

 

Someone is watching him. His heart races. No ever comes over here, especially during school hours. Why would someone be watching him? How long have they been there? Do they want something from him? Did they follow him here? What if they want to hurt him? Will he be hurt?

 

He tries not to panic.

 

_Inhale, no one is there._

 

_Exhale, you’ll be fine, you’re overreacting._

 

_Inhale, no one is there._

 

_Exhale, you’ll be fine, you’re just seeing things again._

 

Renjun closes his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself and focusing on the fast beat of his heart, attempting to slow it down with each deep inhale, and each soothing exhale. It’s so easy for Renjun to let his panicked thoughts take over and attack him. It happens so fast and it's taken years for Renjun to learn how to block the thoughts out, and even now it’s still difficult for Renjun to do so. With one final breath, the teen opens his eyes.

 

He expects to see the trees that were there before, with the white fabric gone. He doesn’t. To his horror, all he sees now is white. Renjun’s eyes dart up to a face he swears he’s seen before.

 

Nonetheless, he screams. A loud, girly, high pitched shout that burns the back of his throat. Renjun scrambles backwards, away from the stranger who could potentially inflict pain upon him. His palm meets a strangely wet patch of dirt, which he briefly hopes isn’t shit, and his hand slips, his body following suit, back slamming against the ground.

 

“You okay?” The stranger asks, bending so that his face is hovering over Renjun’s. Now Renjun can see clearly who the man— correction: boy— is. He is the same guy from earlier at the office, whose name he can’t remember, the one who got into a fight. That would explain why he’s here during school hours, but not why he’s here _at all._

 

Renjun stares at the boy above him, freezing completely, not even blinking. “Hellllooooo,” the boy says, waving his hand in front of Renjun’s face in hopes of eliciting some kind of reaction. Renjun still has yet to move a muscle. The boy then reaches his hand forward, shaking Renjun’s shoulder as a new method to gain a reaction out of him.

 

This seems to be the right, and wrong, thing to do. Renjun screams again, this one louder but shorter than the last. The boy jolts back, startled by Renjun’s actions. “Get away from me! Who are you and what do you want from me?” Renjun hurriedly says, pulling his knees to his chest.

 

“Woah, woah, woah. Calm down, I’m not going to hurt you,” the boy reassures. “I just saw you here on the way home and I’ve never seen anyone here before, I was curious. That’s all, I promise. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

Renjun stares at him with wide eyes, normalizing his breathing yet again. He wouldn’t let his guard down, just Incase this guy really was trying to hurt him, but maybe he could calmly interact with him a little. During the few moments Renjun took to come to that conclusion, he had forgotten he was suppose to provide some type of verbal response.

 

The stranger took Renjun’s silence as an opening to introduce himself, “I’m Jaemin.” He sticks his open hand out to Renjun.

 

Renjun takes a second to stare at it. “Renjun,” he mutters back before joining his hand with Jaemin’s. He was expecting an awkward handshake, but today has been full of surprises. Jaemin pulls him up by the hand so that Renjun is up on his feet again, placing his other hand on Renjun’s lower back to stabilize him and pull him closer. Renjun squeaks in surprise.

 

Like this, even though Jaemin never been particularly muscular or tall, it’s obvious how small Renjun is compared to him. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Renjun.” Jaemin slowly steps back, chuckling at the teen’s now pink flushed cheeks.

 

Jaemin can tell Renjun is unsure of what to do now, and since he doesn’t plan on actually going home anytime soon, he proposes an opportunity to get to know each other in the form of, “Care to join me on a walk?”

 

Renjun automatically wants to say no, this guy was barely an acquaintance, and he hasn’t proved himself trustworthy. Jaemin could at any point choose to viciously murder him, but maybe, just maybe, his Father was on to something. Renjun hasn’t done anything eventful or fun his entire life, he’s never even had a friend. For once he lets himself say yes, he puts his trust in some sketchy guy he just met and says _yes_.

  
  


Building up a conversion was slightly difficult, it took Renjun at least twenty minutes to ease up and openly converse. He was new to this whole ‘talking to people’ thing, though luckily enough Jaemin was a pro and managed to make Renjun feel comfortable.

 

“You’re suspended, right?” Renjun asks, hoping to head towards a topic he was curious about.

 

“Yeah. It’s the fourth time this year,” Jaemin says, no signs of regret showing in his tone or expression.

 

“Ah, so you’re quite the trouble maker,” Renjun teases, noting that this is the first time he’s made a joke in weeks.

 

“Nah, not really. Mark is really aggravating, and his face just happens to be _so_ punchable,” Jaemin says, small laugh following his sentence, smile making Renjun a tad breathless.

 

Now that Renjun has a closer and clearer look at Jaemin, he can see the dull red mark that takes up a big portion of his cheek. He assumes it’ll bruise, probably not that badly, though. The other guy, Mark, must’ve not been that great of a fighter. There are also a few more small bruises scattered along Jaemin’s jaw and down his neck, but Renjun doesn’t think those are from fighting.

 

“All suspensions were because of Mark?” His brow creases, Mark and Jaemin have fought four times this school year? Renjun knew that in high school, especially CrestView, fighting wasn’t uncommon, but c’mon, _four times_?!

 

“Basically, yeah. He has a way of getting to me,” Jaemin answers, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket.

 

Another question is on the tip of Renjun’s tongue, he wants to know about Mark and what his deal is, but the movement of Jaemin’s hands distracts him. He seems to be searching for something that’s gotten lost in his pocket, all his concentration focused on the small task.

 

“You ask a lot of questions,” he says. A few moments later his facial expression comedically morphs into something that could only be described as pure joy as he pulls out some weird, small brown stick thingy, Renjun has no idea what it is.

 

“That’s what usually happens when people are just getting to know each other, I’m pretty sure.”

 

“Then it’s my turn to ask you stuff.” Jaemin pulls another object out of his pocket, one that Renjun recognizes; a lighter. He then proceeds to use said lighter in his right hand to light the strange item in his left, “Want a hit?”

  
  


This must be heaven, Renjun thinks as he stares at the stars above him, shoulder to shoulder with who he is convinced is the best guy alive. The past couple hours were fuzzy in his memory. One minute he was choking on the smoke the strange item Jaemin held produced (he later learned it was called a ‘blunt’, he had heard the name somewhere before, he can’t quite remember where though), and the next minute he was on the rooftop of his guest house, squished so closely with Jaemin that he was pretty sure it could be considered cuddling as they talked about anything and everything. They told stories from their childhoods, shared embarrassing experiences, they gave away little details of their lives, swerving away from anything that might strike memories of a traumatic event. That was the best part, they could share as much or as little as they wanted without feeling judged or ridiculed. They knew what subjects to avoid, what topics to stray from and what questions are too personal.

 

Jaemin was amazing, Renjun had come to that conclusion in the past ten hours they had spent together. Jaemin was unlike Renjun in almost every aspect. Jaemin was entertaining, adventurous, optimistic, confident, open minded and very, _very_ attractive ( but Renjun would never tell anyone that, especially not Jaemin himself). Renjun, on the other hand, was plain, anxious, self-conscious, lame, and overall, a complete buzz kill.

 

Jaemin has a way of making Renjun relax, so much that he hasn’t had a single thought about how much trouble he’ll be in when his father finds out he barely went to school, although the marijuana may have helped with that, too.

 

“What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done, Jaemin?”

 

Jaemin sits up, keeping his eyes on the stars decorating the otherwise pitch black sky so he can think. “That’s a good question. I’m not really sure, I’ve done a lot of stuff.”

 

“Name a few,” Renjun says, rolling over to his side to get a better view of Jaemin.

 

“One time I ran away from the police with my pants off after I just pissed myself because I fell off a train.” Jaemin looks down at Renjun, face completely serious. That doesn’t last long, five seconds after their eyes meet Renjun is laughing his ass off, Jaemin follows in suit, laughing so hard his back falls flat against the rooftop. Initially, it wasn’t that funny, but Renjun’s laugh was contagious.

 

Once the laughter dies down a bit, and Renjun is still letting out the cutest little giggles that Jaemin has ever heard, the ones that have him a little breathless, he turns towards the younger. Their faces are so close like this, noses brushing against each other. If it weren’t for the lack of sunlight, Jaemin is certain he would be able to count every single one of Renjun’s dark eyelashes.

 

“Tell me more,” Renjun says, voice barely a whisper.

 

“Okay,” Jaemin replies. “I once got into a fight with my ex best friend. I was suspended from school and on my way home I see this boy at a burned down park, I approach this boy and I start to get to know him. Hours later I find out he’s some kind of millionaire that for some reason goes to my school, and now him and I are on the rooftop of his guest house, which I didn’t even know people owned guest houses, and I start to question why I never believed someone could fall in love in a day." Jaemin pauses for a moment before continuing. "This boy also happens to have the prettiest lips I’ve ever seen,” Jaemin then looks away from Renjun’s eyes down to his lips, “and I just can’t seem look away from them.”

 

Renjun’s breath gets caught in his throat when Jaemin momentarily glances up from his lips, locking eyes with Renjun before looking back down again. Renjun's heart pounds in his chest, he’s never done anything like this, never even been in such a close proximity with someone other than his parents.

 

Jaemin tilts his head, leaning just barely enough for their lips to lightly brush against each other, no pressure applied. From here, Jaemin whispers, “May I?”

 

“Please do.”

 

That’s all the permission Jaemin needs to grab the back of Renjun’s neck, finally pressing their lips together.

 

Renjun isn’t sure what he’s supposed to feel, he’s heard of fireworks, sparks, butterflies. There is none of those. In all honesty, he doesn’t know what he’s feeling, just that it feels… good, and Renjun hasn’t felt good in a long time. So rather than worrying himself more than necessary, he just follows Jaemin’s lead in their shared kiss, unsure of what to do but not really caring if he’s messing up or not.

 

Jaemin’s lips are soft, incredibly so. Renjun forgets he is required to breathe during all of this, gasping for air when Jaemin pulls away. They stare at each other once again, both panting heavily. Renjun wills his heartbeat down, letting it set in that he really just did _that,_ his first kiss was shared with someone he just met today.

 

Neither of the teens move, content with listening to one another’s inhales and exhales. Renjun is most comfortable like this, most at peace, and by the looks of it, Jaemin is too. So you can imagine his confusion when Jaemin moves away from Renjun's  side to straddle his waist. He starts to lift his own white hoodie, exposing the smooth skin that was hidden under the fabric, because apparently he decided against wearing a shirt underneath like a normal human being. Renjun is confused, to say the least. His eyes widen when Jaemin actually pulls the hoodie completely off, throwing it behind himself.

 

Jaemin leans down once again, diving back in for a kiss, a deeper one this time. Renjun was caught up in the moment before, blinded by excitement, but now that he was given a moment to breathe reality started to set in, the _panic_ started to set in. in

Jaemin begins to open and close his lips against Renjun’s stiff, unresponsive ones, sneaking his hand under the younger’s shirt to the feel the smooth skin. Renjun remains still, frozen in confusion and a bit of fear. It’s only when Jaemin’s hand rubs slowly over Renjun’s chest, coming in contact with his nipple, that he reacts.

 

Renjun sits up, pushing Jaemin away from him at the same time. Jaemin is now a small distance away from Renjun, a shocked and offended look on his face. “What the hell man?”

 

Renjun suddenly feels extremely lame. Of course he would ruin his chances with the only person who has even shown interest in him, what a loser. “I’m sor-“

 

A slamming noise is heard nearby. Both teens immediately scramble to the edge of the roof, hanging their heads over to peak at the commotion.

 

It’s too dark to see much, but the headlights of a car illuminate a small portion of the driveway. Renjun recognizes his father’s figure, along with a women at his side. They’re drunk, that much is obvious as they stumble towards the doors of the guest house.

 

“Who is that?” Jaemin questions.

 

“My father,” comes Renjun’s short response.

 

“Why is he here and not over there?" Jaemin asks, gesturing to the larger home across the street. 

 

“He usually brings his new flings to the guest house instead of ours, his girlfriends get jealous of outsiders,” He explains.

 

“Girlfriend- _s_?” Jaemin exclaims, forgetting to lower the volume of his voice.

 

At this, Mr. Huang glances up, squinting his eyes at the two boys. Renjun squeaks, laying his body flat against the roof as a poor attempt to hide. “Hey! Who the hell is up there?”

 

“Shit.”

  
  



	2. 2 | Jaemin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin gets his Beretta out and ready before beginning step three
> 
> Sneak in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading comments makes me so happy and motivated. Special thanks to @yy_ziza on instagram for proof reading and helping me overall with the story. Sorry if im ever inconsistent with uploads, I'm either busy, sad, or unsatisfied with the chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy

_ 6:58 am _

 

Jaemin’s household was hectic, to say the least. The residents consisted of eight, possibly insane, people: Jaemin himself, the fraternal triplets with ADHD - Ravi, Chenle, and Jiwon, the autistic one -Jeffrey, the optimistic emo girl - Amethyst, the confident gay - Chittaphon, and the craziest of them all, their legal guardian - Irin. 

 

Oh, and they all have to share one, singular bathroom. Meaning, mornings equaled literal  _ war.  _ This morning just so happened to be particularly shitty. About a week ago the triplets decided they were too old to continue bathing together, adding extra stress to the whole  _ ‘who showers first?’  _ situation . 

 

Jaemin groans, using the pillow beneath him to cover his ears, attempting to drown out the sound of his annoying foster siblings. 

 

Ravi and Jiwon never got along. They had their routinely arguments about pretty much everything, and no longer bathing together added an addition thing to disagree on to the list. 

 

Ravi is naked, failing to remember to cover himself with the towel in his hand, as he yells at the top of his lungs. “I said I would go first on Monday’s. Look, i'm already naked and everything!”

 

“You didn’t call dibs though,” Jiwon states, crossing his arms.

 

“I so did! Just in different words,” Ravi exclaims, arms flailing in the air. Jaemin grimaces, wishing he could unsee the nine year old’s uncovered junk swinging around. He almost yells at him to  _ please, put that towel to use!  _ But that would bring attention to himself, and the last thing he wants right now is to be caught up in one of their petty arguments. 

 

“Exactly, you didn’t actually call dibs.” Jiwon smiles smugly, proud of the point he thinks he has made. 

 

“It’s not my fault you have a small vocabulary, you illiterate freak.” Ravi looks satisfied with himself, unaware of his improper use of the word ‘illiterate’. Jaemin gives him credit, though, most nine year olds in this neighborhood had still yet to learn their alphabet correctly. 

 

Jiwon gasps before lunging himself at Ravi, knocking the naked boy to the dirty tile ground. They start rolling around and throwing slurs at each other. Jaemin figures it’s time to leave. He makes sure to grab his backpack on the way out, regardless of the fact it holds almost nothing necessary for school. 

 

Even when he’s outside, he can still hear the duo yelling. He thinks he can hear Chenle laughing at them, a usual occurrence. Jaemin snickers and continues walking, the triplets were a lot to handle, and not a lot of people would choose to associate with them, Jaemin included. 

 

As the teen continues his venture to school, he remembers to check his barely standing mail box. 

 

It’s filled to it’s maximum capacity with letters, and hopefully at least one of them will be from his father. Not that he  _ wants  _ one to be, it’s just that he only gets about two letters a year and it’s a bit suspicious that his first one this year hasn’t come yet. (He’ll never admit to himself that he looks forward to the letters, his heart breaking a little more each time he doesn’t receive one)

 

He flips through them for what seems like minutes straight, losing hope when thirty letters later, there is still no sign of his dad’s handwritten letter. Jaemin keeps skimming through the stack, bill after bill. There is only two things left, the letter on top from some company Jaemin doesn’t care to pay attention to. The one on the bottom, though, is what has Jaemin’s heart pounding. 

 

Jaemin slowly slides the top envelope down to reveal the one underneath. 

 

_ This is stupid,  _ he thinks.  _ Why would I want a letter from that piece of shit scumbag anyway? _

 

Jaemin throws the irrelevant envelopes on to his dead lawn. Now that there is nothing in the way of the last letter, Jaemin immediately searches for the information placed at the top corner. 

 

_ ‘Jathiens Correctional Facility’  _

 

This was it. 

 

Jaemin wants to feel relieved, and quite honestly he does, but he also feels a bit shameful for feeling anything other than hatred for the disgusting human that he’s biologically linked to. 

 

Jaemin stares at the envelope in his hand, torn between crumpling it or tarring it open. He does neither, instead shoving the letter quickly in his jaw string to decide what to do with it later. For now, though, he has to continue being a teenager and go to school. 

  
  


The walk to school doesn’t usually take all that long, fifteen minutes at most, and on the way he makes a few entertaining observations.

 

The weird cat lady is strolling down the street with a cart full of stuff, that one ratchet white mom across the street is yelling at someone through her microwave phone, and there’s still couches placed on the sidewalk with a sign in front of them that says ‘free’. Evidently, this neighborhood was a tad trashy, yes, but it still had its perks, not that Jaemin could really give any examples at the moment. 

 

Jaemin arrives to Crestview sooner than he thought he would, and he has a few minutes to spare before homeroom starts. He plans on being on time today, he doesn't want to further ruin his reputation on his first day back from suspension. There’s not many people here yet, which Jaemin is grateful for. This gives him time to walk around for a bit. 

 

The sun beats down on Jaemin as he walks to the back of the school, he suddenly regrets wearing a hoodie. April is usually chilly, so this is unusual, probably global warming or something. 

 

Jaemin kicks around the branches littered on the grass that have fallen from the trees above him, making space for him to sit without wood stabbing his ass. Now seems to be a good time to open that letter. He opens his jaw string, shaky hands reach in to retrieve the envelope. 

 

Familiar muffled voices approach him, Jaemin quickly closes his backpack again, arms looping through the strings as he stands. He runs to the side of the building furthest from the people speaking, head peeking out to watch them. 

 

“I’m really glad you two get along, I can finally have a best friend  _ and  _ boyfriend. I’m so excited, we’re like, the perfect trio, aren’t we, Renjun?” Donghyuck asks, turning to the small boy. 

 

“I- yeah… yeah we are,” Renjun responds, voice quiet in contrast to Donghyuck’s loud one. 

 

“We definitely need to hang more, the three of us,” Donghyuck says, directing his pointer finger quickly to both Renjun and the blond boy beside him, Mark. “How does this Friday sound?”

 

Jaemin stares at Mark with hate. Of course the principal would end their suspensions on the same day, and of course out of all the friend groups at Crestview Renjun would’ve found his way into Mark’s. Jaemin finally found someone new to pursue and predictably Mark would ruin that. Renjun probably thought Mark was some kind and chill guy, like most people did, but those people were fooled by his bright smile and sweet tone, Jaemin seems to be the only one who knew how evil Mark really is.

 

“Sounds good babe, it’ll be at my house though, right?” Mark asks. Even from a few feet away Jaemin can see the little cuts and bruises scattered on Mark’s face, he feels proud of himself. 

 

“Of course!”

 

“Okay, I shouldn’t be late to homeroom so I’m gonna go, but I’ll see you guys later?” Renjun bids his goodbye, leaving the couple alone, waving as he jogs back to the front of the school. 

 

Now, since Renjun is gone, Mark turns back to Donghyuck. “You can hang out this once with him, I’ll allow it since I’ll be with you, but don’t get use to him. If I notice he starts getting too friendly then he’s gotta go, understand?” Mark says this in a tone that is different than the one he used to speak with Renjun, reminding Jaemin of how two-faced the boy could be. 

 

Donghyuck’s bright smile slowly falls and he nods, hanging his head to stare at his feet. This makes Jaemin’s heart hurt a little, he always wanted better for Donghyuck, but for some reason the gullible boy was too attached to Mark, constantly glued to his side and willing to follow any command he gave. It was sad, truly.

 

Mark pushes Donghyuck towards the way Renjun went, signaling him to leave. Donghyuck scurries off, leaving Mark to stand alone. “You can come out of hiding now,” Mark says, and Jaemin knows he’s been caught. 

 

Jaemin practically waltz towards Mark with his head held high, trying his best to appear confident and fearless, he hopes it worked.

 

“You a spy now or sum’?”

 

“Nah,” Jaemin chuckles. 

 

“What, then? You want round two of Monday?” Marks questions as he steps closer to Jaemin. 

 

“There’s less than two months of school left, Mark. You can’t get into any more trouble, I wouldn’t want you to be held back from senior year,  _ again. _ ”

 

Mark looks angry already, easily agitated by a few words. This was Jaemin’s favorite part, seeing Mark’s nostrils flare, his eyebrows bunch, and his knuckles crack. He was so easy to rile up, so easy to mess with. Perhaps Mark thinks the same about him, but Mark doesn’t think much about anything, always acting on impulse. 

 

“Hey Mark, Donghyuck sent me to get your-“

 

Both Jaemin and Mark look over, eyes following the noise of a new voice. There stands Renjun, frozen in place. 

 

“Oh, sorry. I’ll- I’ll go now,” Renjun hurriedly says, ready to leave the two boys alone. 

 

“No, it’s okay. We’re finished here,” Jaemin says, throwing Mark one last dirty look before walking off, brushing shoulders with a flustered Renjun in the process. 

 

Jaemin only walks a few steps, stopping when he hears Renjun call after him. “Hey! Jaemin, wait up!”

 

Renjun stands in in front of Jaemin when he’s caught up. “Hey….” Renjun repeats. “I haven’t seen you since that night. I was wondering if you wanted to talk and y’know, get to know eachother, or- or something like that.”

 

Jaemin shakes his head, “No thanks.”

 

“But-“

 

“Stay away from him, from Mark, he’s no good. Trust me.” That’s all Jaemin says before finally walking away, for real this time.

 

Renjun stands still behind him, opening and closing his mouth in a hopeless attempt to form words, to try and call out for Jaemin again. He doesn’t manage to in time, and then Jaemin is gone. 

  
  
  


They don’t speak after that, ignoring each other for the remainder of Thursday, and for the entirety of Friday. Jaemin just hopes Renjun listened to his warning, he truly didn’t want the other boy getting involved with Mark, he didn’t want Renjun to be hurt. 

  
  
  
  


It’s Saturday afternoon when Jaemin decides to leave his house. Chittaphon visited, aka he came home from his sugar daddies house for the first time in months. It was nice at first, although a bit surprising considering he turned eighteen last month (he spent his birthday at his boyfriend’s place, of course), now as an adult he was not forced to be in this household by law and foster kids almost never visit their foster houses once they’re allowed to leave, especially if that foster house happens to belong to  _ irin.  _

 

Anyways, an hour after Chittaphon’s arrival, a heated argument arises between him and Amethyst over some dumb western artist named Troye. 

 

Jaemin is already a block away from his home, heading in the direction furthest from his school. His headphones are lodged in his ears, fueling his fast paced steps. His favorite lil pump song blasting in his ears, so loud he thinks his eardrums might shatter. He usually only does this when there are people around and voices to drown out, but right now there is no one to avoid, nothing to drown out other than his own thoughts.

 

Jaemin has been trying not to think about his dad and that stupid letter that he's avoided reading, which is way harder than he thought it'd be. Even when he succeeds in finally,  _ finally  _ clearing his mind, it fills up again with another problematic and dumb topic; like Renjun, who he happens to be thinking about right now. 

 

Jaemin didn't like Renjun, no, it was way too early for that and Jaemin does not open his heart to just anyone. There's just something about Renjun that Jaemin can't stop thinking about. Maybe it's the way Renjun pauses to gather a proper sentence before he speaks, or the way he chews the inside of his lip when he’s unsure if his response was acceptable, or how scared he had been when Jaemin approached him. Either way, Jaemin has this overwhelming need to….. protect him. It is definitely strange, nothing like this has ever happened to Jaemin before. Jaemin was one hell of a protective boyfriend, he knew that, but he's not Renjun’s boyfriend, and now that he thinks about it, he’s not even Renjun’s  _ friend.  _

 

Jaemin needs to know more about Renjun, his life, his story, his baggage, everything. Jaemin needs to know if this kid is worth his time, and once he figures it out he’ll decide what to do from there. 

 

Until then, he needs to rid his brain of thoughts of Renjun, and his shy giggles, his smooth skin, his pretty lips….

 

Yeah, Jaemin  _ really  _ needs to stop thinking about him.

  
  
  
  


A Cadillac Escalade slowly pulls up beside Jaemin, and despite the turtle-like speed it moves at, the black vehicle stands out too much to go unnoticed. It could be following him, but he isn't sure yet, it's high unlikely someone wants to kidnap him or something, so there's no reason to panic. Absolutely no reason to pani- 

 

“Get in the car,” a voice demands. 

 

Jaemin’s eyes follow the voice. The passenger side window is rolled down, a bald man’s head hanging halfway out. Jaemin has no idea who he is, but the small ‘7’ tattoo next to his left eye is a symbol Jaemin is all too familiar with, and he knows he has no other choice than to listen to the man. 

 

The back door opens before he can even reach for the handle and Jaemin is pulled inside by his arm. The car door closes and he isn’t sure who closes it, his attention is too focused on the cool metal placed against his temple. He can hear the  _ ‘click’  _ of the door being locked, he gulps. 

 

Jaemin racks his brain for reasons he could be in this situation, yet his mind comes up blank. He can’t think of anything he’s done recently that would warrant someone to hold a gun against his head. There's so many possibilities, so many people he's wronged yet none of them make sense. He hasn't done anything  _ that  _ bad, has he?

 

“Payment is due today, delivery boy.” Jaemin immediately knows who the voice belongs to.

 

_ Shit.  _

 

Jaemin’s body goes stiff and he open and closes his mouth, searching his mind as quick as he can to form a proper excuse. “Listen, Rafael I-“

 

“I don't want an excuse,” he cuts Jaemin off, “I want my money. So where is it, hmm?”

 

Jaemin tries his best to stay calm, keep his breathing steady, keep his leg from bouncing. All his efforts go to waste when Rafael pushes the gun harder against Jaemin’s head, as both a reminder and a threat. “I asked you a question, boy. I expect an answer.”

 

“I just, I just need more time and I swear I’ll get it all to you, every penny,” Jaemin promises. He can feel the sweat trickle down his neck as his throat runs dry. He really hopes his words work so he can get out of this damn car and avoid getting his head blown off. “Please.”

 

He lowers the gun, setting it securely in between his thighs. Rafael adjusts his body so he can comfortably look Jaemin straight in the eyes, and Jaemin almost looks away, creeped put by Rafaels dead eyes.  “You don't want to be stuck in a place like this, you don't belong here, I’ll give you a new home, a better home. I’ll get you out of here, I can promise you a future, Jaemin. And the only thing I ask for in return is that you don't disappoint me, understand?”

 

Jaemin nods. 

 

Rafael looks into Jaemin’s eyes with actual emotion for once, its it's a strange change, and Jaemin isn't sure how to process it. No one has ever believed he’d be successful or make it out of this damned town. Rafael is the first to tell him such inspirational words, but he is also the first to point a gun to Jaemin’s head, so he’s quite conflicted. 

 

“Good, that’s good. Now get the fuck out my car,” Rafael says, and seconds later Jaemin is being dragged out onto the concrete sidewalk by the bald man from before. Jaemin’s bottom collides harshly onto the ground and he winces. The bald man takes his place back into the passenger seat. “I expect my $7,300 by tomorrow. I’ll be at your house 8 am, and I'm sure this goes without saying, but if you dont give me every last penny as promised, you're dead. See you then, delivery boy.”

 

And then they’re gone, and Jaemin is left to watch the car drive off, feeling more dumbfounded than ever. It takes him a few moments to collect his thoughts and process what just happened, but once he manages to wrap his head around it he stands up and dusts off his pants. He didn't even realize Rafael had driven him all the way to uptown, he only notices when he recognizes the collection of buildings and stores.  

 

It’s amazing, really, how easy it is to lose track of time and distance when an obese Latino man is pointing a gun at your head. 

 

After a deep inhale, Jaemin weighs out his endless options. In reality, he really only has two choices; wander around the city and somehow come up with $7,300, or go home. And Jaemin definitely isn't going home. 

  
  
  


_ 11:43 pm _

 

Jaemin takes another drag, watching as the smoke he exhales disappears into the air. His mind is going crazy and this is the only way he can think of to calm it down. The chilly night air against his skin soothes him almost as well as the blunt in his hand does. 

 

Jazz plays lowly from a speaker placed on I’m someone’s balcony, it reminds Jaemin that he is far from his own neighborhood. Things are very different here, apartments are placed above stores, balconies are connected by a complicated system of stairs, and neon lights fill up the city. It has a similar layout to a scene he’s seen on TV.  

 

The sky is pitch black, and if it were not to the large assortment of street lights place around the small city, the streets would be too. Despite the late hour there are still various people sparsely looming around. There's a few groups of young adults --probably on their way to a club-- a few random folks just simply enjoying the night, and a handful of angry drunk old men. The contrast makes Jaemin happy, balance was always important. 

 

Out of the corner of his eye,  Jaemin spots a bright neon yellow sign. Its placed in front of a train station,  _ ‘free rides until 12 am every saturday’  _ it reads. 

 

To Jaemin, this seems like the perfect opportunity. He’s still broke, not a penny to his name, and considering the fact that he has to pay at off a $7,300 debt in less than 24 hours, a free ride doesn't sound all too bad right now. Having no plan of where to go, Jaemin enters the station with no intention or idea of a destination. 

  
  


The area is for the most part, empty, and a small group of people are gathered in the corner of the section he’s in. A stereo is placed in the middle of them, it loudly plays an old Britney Spears song that they all take turns dancing to. Each time a new person enters the middle of the circle the audience seems to go crazy with cheers. 

 

Even though they appear to be having a fun time, Jaemin chooses to ignore them entirely. What does manage to catch his attention, though, is the large assemblage of bags place behind the distracted people. 

 

A large duffle bag stands out in particular, most likely because even from a few feet away Jaemin can spot the wallet poking out of the half opened bag. 

 

_ “Train 127 leaving in two minutes. I repeat, train 127 leaving in two minutes at 11:45 pm.” _

 

A voice sounds out through the station. 

 

Something in Jaemin’s brain clicks. The perfect opportunity has just fallen into his lap, and he intends to make the best of it. He could take the bag and run, the train being his perfect getaway. 

 

The doors to the subway open and people start to pile inside. No one has made any movement to grab the duffel bag, meaning who ever the bag belongs to isn't planning on boarding the train right now.  _ Yes, perfect. _

Jaemin takes a breath, mentally preparing himself. He waits a full minute, letting people pass him to pile in to the train until there is only a handful of people left entering. He then runs forward, grabbing the bag from it’s spot on the floor, and turning on his heel, jumping inside the closing doors of the subway just in time. 

 

Grinning at his success, he finds a seat, zipping open the bag with a smile. It feels like opening gifts on Christmas morning, not that he really knows what that’s like, but he doubts it feels better than this. 

 

Jaemin digs inside the bag for the wallet, crossing his fingers and hoping that it will somehow have enough for him to be free from his debt.

 

The wallet has exactly $362 inside, good, but not great, he’s going to need a lot more to pay off his Rafael. There’s a few cards, too, but Jaemin has never been a fan of credit card fraud, it's way too easy to get caught. 

 

He stuffs the wallet into his pocket quickly, eager to see the rest of the hidden goods the duffle bag has to offer. 

 

Fully unzipping the main pocket, he examines the rest of the contents. There's a pair of new sneakers, which sadly are not Jaemin’s size, but he sure can sell them for a good buck.

 

Jaemin gasps, under the shoes lay a pile of wrinkled gym clothes, boring and useless, in Jaemin’s opinion, it’s what he finds upon digging further, that has him shocked. 

 

There, at the way bottom of the bag, is a loaded Beretta 92. 

 

_ Man, this really must be Christmas.  _

  
  
  
  


_ 1:57 am _

 

Despite the —possibly hundreds of-- miles the train saved him, Jaemin’s feet still ache from the amount of walking he’s done. 

 

There’s a lot on Jaemin’s intoxicated mind tonight as he walks through an unknown park. Jaemin still has yet to open his dad’s most recent letter. The last letter Jaemin received was full of empty promises; his dad swore that in less than a month he’d come for Jaemin and they’d live together once again. Jaemin cried as he read the words his dad wrote, he had been filled with a hope he’d been missing for years. It was obvious now, though, that Jaemin had been a fool to believe anything the insane deadbeat says. 

 

Deeper in his mind behind the thoughts of his dad, are the ones about Renjun. Since the day he met him, which was only a few days ago, Jaemin has already thought up a hundred scenarios about him. They're all ridiculously unrealistic, especially the one where Jaemin and Renjun start dating and have a happy life, that one was a knee slapper for sure. Jaemin knew it’d never happen, and he's not even completely sure he'd want it to or if he's just excited to finally get some action. Either way, staying away from Renjun was probably the smartest option.

 

Lastly in his incorrectly prioritized mind, was the most pressing matter: how the hell would Jaemin get $7300 by 7 am tomorrow- actually,  7am  _ today.  _ It was already Sunday by now, and he was running out of time fast. 

 

He has limited options. One, prostitution. Two, robbery. Prostitution didn’t sound all that great and he had no idea how to even go about doing that, so he opts for the second choice. 

 

Jaemin isn’t new to robbing places, in fact, he’s quite proud of the system he’s come up with. It was easy, quick, and bulletproof, he had never been caught in his years of doing this.

 

1.scope out a place.

2.set a time and date.

3.sneak in

4.twenty minutes to fill his bag with goods.

5.sneak out.

6.sell everything the next morning. 

 

Due to limited time, Jaemin has to shorten his three day process to a ten minute process. People would be awake soon and there is no way Rafael will be willing to give Jaemin another night to pay him back, so ten minutes will have to do. Jaemin wipes away the saliva built up in the corner of his mouth, and does step one: scope out a place. 

 

The area he’s in currently, seems perfectly fit for what Jaemin has planned. He’s surrounded by large houses, all with, in Jaemin’s opinion, too many windows. They resemble beach houses, even though they aren’t anywhere near a beach. 

 

Usually, Jaemin takes a large amount of precautions before entering a home. But, again, due to limited time and poor judgement, Jaemin does what his intoxicated mind tells him is the best option, he closes his eyes and spins in a circle for an entire thirty seconds, only stopping when he almost falls on his ass. 

 

He puts his pointer finger out in front of him, blindly pointing at the house he’s chosen at random, opening his eyes to reveal which home his finger landed on. 

 

He's quite pleased with his pick. It's a nice and big house, painted a pretty shade of blue and enclosed in an assortment of flowers. Large glass windows are placed randomly in its walls, yet somehow looking perfect in their odd places. 

 

To Jaemin’s surprise and delight, when he clumsily walks towards the home, the front door of said house is wide open. Half-conscious him doesn’t see anything suspicious about the situation, rather, he sees it as a sign that,  _ ‘yes, this house is the one’, _ because why else would the door be open if it wasn’t an open invitation to enter? 

 

He gets his Beretta out and ready before beginning step three. 

 

Sneak in. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. 3 | Jeno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another gun shot is fired. 
> 
>  
> 
> This time, jeno blacks out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wont be posting next week btw. Also if yall ever wanna criticize me in the comments (negative or positive) then please do, I love getting comments on this story.

_The sun is blinding_

_the sky is bright_

_when reality is what he is declining_

_hi_ _s dreams bring him this scenery at night_

 

The loud roar of a lawn mower is the first thing Jeno hears when he wakes. When he looks out the window he has to squint to drown out some of the sun’s intensity. It works poorly, yet well enough for him to be able to peak out his window without burning his eyes entirely.

 

His least favorite neighbor, an old grumpy white man named Costice, is banging on his lawn mower, most likely trying to figure out how it works. The old man’s house employees all quit recently due to unfair treatment, it had been the talk of the neighborhood for a full week, all the middle aged white woman gossiping about it while eating brunch together. So now that Costice was stuck doing all his own cleaning and cooking, he was grumpier than ever.

 

Jeno turns his attention away from Costice, looking up at the sky to watch the birds. They communicate in a way Jeno can’t understand but he pretends he can. He hopes to join them someday in his next life, to fly and soar alongside them, to be free. Birds don’t have to worry about life’s problems, they just simply get to exists through their cycle. Jeno wishes he could just fly away to a better place, a better life.

 

His phone dings from its place on his bedside table.

 

_1 new message from: Mother_

_‘Livestream in 5. Look like you just woke up and act happy to see us’_

 

If he had possibly been bitter before, he definitely was now. He use to enjoy livestreams and being in the public eye constantly, but that was when he was young and naive; when he believed all the people calling him cute in the comments actually cared.

 

Jeno lays down on his back, positioning his phone directly above his head, throwing his blanket sloppily over his body and messing up his hair to add to the effect.

 

_Sat, Apr 14_

_07:13_

 

His device reads. Jeno unlocks his phone, clicking onto the Instagram app as soon as he can, automatically clicking onto the small circle that displays his parent’s profile picture. After it fully loads his mother and father’s faces come into frame. They’re a cute middle aged couple. His mother keeps up her high maintenance routines to maintain a youthful(ish) face, and his father works out and eats vitamins to stay healthy, and more importantly, healthy- _looking._ They were an admired couple, understandably.

 

Jeno requests to join the live, and shortly after, his face is placed in his own digital frame under his parent’s. He smiles and waves enthusiastically, “good morning~”

 

The comments go wild. Things like _‘we missed you’_ s _, ‘where have you been?’_ s _,_ and _‘omg it’s Jeno oppa!’_ s fill the screen.

 

Sure, he feels a little happy when he sees all the supportive comments left under his posts or during the lives, but he knows those people don’t really support him. Jeno knows that to the viewers, all he is, is a nice face to look at.

 

To his parents, who smile at him and ask, “How are you doing sweetie?”, Jeno is just a failed investment who benefits them on occasions.

 

To himself, Jeno is nothing but a boy who has aspirations and dreams, yet is trapped and held down by his own fears, insecurities, and self loathing.

 

“I’m doing amazing, I really love it here. My new house is so beautiful and I’m so grateful my wonderful parents blessed me with it, I plan on lazing around for the rest of the day in my big ol’ comfy bed. I might go on a walk later, though, we’ll see.” Lies fall so easily from Jeno’s mouth at this point. He’s had years of practice, after all. He can see it in his mother’s eyes that he’s doing well, the viewers are eating this up, they love the whole ‘family goals’ act.

 

“Oh you guys want a house tour? How ‘bout I give the people what they want then, what do you think Mom?”

 

“Oh I think that’s a great idea son,” she looks over at her husband for approval. He shakes his head in disagreement, “Maybe some other day. Little Lee wants to say hi.” Jeno’s father then brings his little sister into his lap. As soon as her small face comes into frame it’s like Jeno no longer exists. It only takes two seconds for the comments to go from, _‘omg it’s Jeno’_ to _‘omg it’s the Lee’s babygirl’_. His mother coo’s at her favorite child, and Jeno has to resist doing the same. She was cute, yes, but she was also a little attention seeking demon.

 

She hasn’t even been alive for a full year yet she’s already stolen all the spotlight Jeno has worked 17 dreadful years for.

 

Jeno has never been a negative or hateful boy, always smiling at the cameras, speaking with the utmost respect to his elders, being kind to the children he is forced to associate with. So he’s not sure how that chubby cheeked, dependant, 20 pound infant makes him absolutely _furious._

 

There’s a tickling sensation creeping upwards in the back of Jeno’s throat and he knows what’s coming. He tries to hold it off and spare enough time to warn his parents before it happens but it happens so fast that he can’t hold it back. Hurtful, loud, metallic tasting coughs are coming one after another. The powerful coughs shake Jeno’s entire body so hard he drops his phone and he can’t even attempt pick it up. The only thing he can do is cough, cough, and cough. He balls up his fingers into a fist and covers his mouth to try and muffle the sounds, and though it doesn’t work for that, it does end up catching all the blood Jeno didn’t even realize was being released.

 

The coughing fit may have only lasted a few seconds, a minute maximum, but when it's finally over, Jeno feels lights headed and out of breath. He sits up quickly, and with blurry vision and shaky hands he feels around his fluffy blankets for his cell. His fingers find the cold device, wrapping tightly around it before bringing it back to his face. He expects to be greeted with his parent’s concerned faces and to be questioned about his health status. Instead, his parents are smiling proudly at their daughter as she takes her first steps. They’re cheering her on excitedly and his father is even tearing up a little.

 

_His father is tearing up._

 

In his 17 years of life, Jeno has never witnessed his father shed a single tear, not even once. Now here he is, crying a river over a stupid toddler taking two stupid steps. Jeno’s has a weird empty feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 

He notices his half of the screen that is suppose to display his face is gone and instead the entire screen is now just of his little sister. They kicked him out in honor of his sister, and he can’t say he’s surprised in the slightest, honestly.

 

No one seems to care that everyday Jeno is slowly dying, inside and out. No, it’s all about _her_ now, the _‘little Lee’_ . She gets all the attention no matter what, there’s no point in Jeno being around at all anymore. That’s probably why his parents moved Jeno into his own house away from them, using the excuse of _‘it’s your birthday, here’s a house!’_ When they really just wanted him gone. He was a bother anyways, he was useless now that he has fallen ill again. The only thing Jeno could do after his sister was born is make an appearance every few months at his parent’s agency and greet the trainees with a smile, but he can’t even do that nowadays.

 

Jeno watches as his little sister laughs and claps, her chubby cheeks are decorated by her own slobber. Babies are disgusting, stupid, and ugly, especially the one Jeno is forced to stare at right now. He briefly wonders if his older brother, Taeyong, ever felt like this after Jeno was born. Jeno knows he didn’t, though. Why would Taeyong ever be jealous of Jeno? Taeyong was better looking, actually talented, and healthy. Taeyong still had fame, he grew up to be a model, actor, and musician, everything his parents could ever wish for. Jeno, Jeno was just a disappointment.

 

Jeno chucks his phone at the wall in front of him as hard as he can and just _screams,_ he releases all his frustration and built up anger with the elongated shout and pounds his fists one after another repeatedly into his mattress. Realistically, it won’t solve any of his problems, it’s not like his phone or mattress is to blame, but he’s angry and he can’t stand to look at _her_ face a moment longer. His phone collides into the wall with a thump, falling onto the ground with an even louder crack. The short lived tantrum almost made him feel better for a second, but now he’s just tired. It used up all of Jeno’s strength and he’s left with just pure exhaustion. Jeno is left useless again.

 

His body slumps back onto the bed. Jeno finds himself sinking back into the all familiar deep sea of self pity. He drowns in it and he can’t breathe, it’s so hard to breathe and oh god why can’t he breathe. He chokes on his own sobs and he realizes he’s already crying.

 

Jeno could cry all day, in fact he usually _does,_ but right now he is too fatigued to do so. His eyes droop even as they continue to spill tears. He lets himself slowly fade away into a comfortable state of unconsciousness. He falls asleep to the sound of the birds by his window and allows the familiar darkness to take over.

  
  


When he finally comes to he has no sense of time. He’s no longer in his bed, instead he’s situated on his couch downstairs. The tv is turned on and the brightness makes Jeno cringe. He has a blanket placed gently on top of him and a pillow under his head.

 

There’s a small bright green sticky note on the glass table next to him, it’s attached to a granola bar. It reads, _“you were asleep when I stopped by:( had Herbert move you onto the couch so you could leave your room for a bit. Text me if you need anything -mom”_

 

Jeno recognizes Herbert’s handwriting, he knows his mother didn’t actually write this but he really appreciated the effort. Herbert has always been his favorite butler, he was always so friendly and caring without being creepy, and he provided for Jeno in a way his parents failed to. Herbert stops by daily to check up on the ill teen, get him food and cater to him. Jeno’s Mother suggested a full time nurse rather than a butler, but Jeno refuses to be treated like he’s in a hospice.

 

A tune from the tv catches Jeno’s attention. It’s an ice cream commercial. There’s a sickeningly adorable couple sitting down on a bench, shoulder to shoulder, both happily lick away at their different flavors of icecream cones while staring lovingly into each others eyes.

 

They laugh and giggle for a few moments until the girl offers the guy a bit of her ice cream. He accepts with a smile and the commercial concludes with its slogan.

 

_“Happy Shubern’s ice treats. Eat, enjoy, share. “_

 

It’s a simple, cute commercial. It’s suppose to make Jeno want ice cream, yet all it does is remind him how lonely he is and how much he’s lacking in the girlfriend department (or boyfriend, hey, he’s open minded).

 

Jeno just wants to go have fun with friends, and go on cute, mildly cringey dates with the love of his life. He wants someone to feed ice cream to, someone to hold hands with, someone to laugh and cuddle with while watching sucky movies.

 

Before he knows it he’s crying again and he can’t help it. Jeno is sick of crying all the time but he really just can’t help it, he can try to blame his meds but it’s useless.

 

He’s just _so_ lonely.

 

It’s so easy for him to get like this, all sad and pathetic. When you’re ill and forced to sit alone inside a big house all day it’s hard to do anything but cry, regret, and long for something- or someone. Jeno has goals, yes, but he knows they’re unrealistic. He’ll never be a normal teen like he wants, he’ll never go on cute dates with his soulmate or go out for pizza with his friends or go to fun parties and hookup with someone that he’ll later fall for. It’ll never happen for him. He’ll never have the kdrama life he wants.

 

And it’s so selfish, he knows he’s selfish. Jeno gets to have his own house at the age of 17, he won’t ever need to work or worry about money ever in his life, and he’s a celebrity for fucks sake. His life is what others wish for, but they don’t know what it’s like to be him, what it’s like to grow up knowing nothing other than fake smiling and pretending to be something you’re not, to spend your entire like rotting away.

 

That’s what he’s doing, he’s rotting away and dying. He doesn’t have long, his disease has been dormant for so long that when he woke up three months ago to blood in his mouth, he had no idea how to react.

 

Things have only gotten worse since then. Most of the times he can’t even get out of his bed long enough to get something to eat. Maybe he really should consider getting a nurse.

 

Maybe.

 

Even though troubled teen isn’t exactly tired anymore considering he just barely woke up again after less than an hour of consciousness, he decides he should stop thinking so much in one night and starts to drift off into another slumber.

  


_A beautiful day with bright shining sun rays_

_Grape juice and crackers on this bittersweet Sunday_

_Long blades of grass cover the land_

_Behind the velvet rope is where the reporters and family stand_

_They tried to hide it but it could no longer be concealed_

_Open the casket for Lee Jeno’s body to be revealed_

  


Chills run through Jeno’s entire body, he shivers and curls into himself. Sweat piles in the creases his furrowed brows make on his forehead, continuing to dribble down his face and spread over his skin. He finds it hard to breathe yet again, sharp pain stabs at his dry throat with every inhale, its the only thing he can really feel in this moment, the rest of his body seemingly numb.

 

Water, he _needs water._

 

Jeno uses all the strength he can muster, although it isn’t much, he manages to haul his body over the couch and onto the floor. When his fragile body collides with his wooden floorboards it feels like all 206 of his bones have been smashed in with a bulldozer. Moving, or rather, dragging himself towards his kitchen feels like hell, but he’s determined to reach his destination.

 

His weak arms take turns one after the other pulling his body forward. The kitchen isn't far and he’s so, so close. Just a few more feet, just a few more feet. His pace is too slow, at this rate he won’t be anywhere near a water source for the next 8 years.

 

Jeno has to walk.

 

Or crawl, or something - _anything_ that’ll get him to the kitchen faster. With wobbly limbs he lifts himself into a bent-knee push up position and starts to crawl, knees painfully banging and rubbing against the floor with every movement.

 

Mini green dots cloud Jeno’s vision and he can barely tell he made it to the fridge. He blindly feels around, getting up on his knees to find his sink. When he, after a few moments of slapping away at the countertops, finally comes in contact with the cold surface of his sink, he winces but proceeds to grip the ledge and count to three.

 

_One._

 

_Deep breath._

 

_Two._

 

_Deep breath._

 

_Three._

 

**_Pull._ **

 

Jeno struggles but he manages to stand on his own two feet, using the countertops to stabilize himself. The room spins and spins. With every second that passes he feels weaker, but he’s made it this far and he can’t give up now. Jeno reaches up, swinging open the cabinet closest to him and grabbing the first cup available to him. The thick glass feels unusually heavy in his hand and he finds it hard to successfully position it under the faucet.

 

He turns the water on, not caring which side the handle is leaning towards, hot or cold, didn’t matter, he just needed it, soon. He fills the cup to the brim, not bothering to turn off the sink afterwards. His heart pounds with exhaustion.

 

Lifting up that glass of water to his lips is like opening the gates of heaven. Jeno is like an under-oiled machine and that icy water is like his oil. The way the cold water soothes his throat is just pure ecstasy. _Relief._ The teen can finally breathe a little better now. He chugs down the remains of the glass before refilling it, and repeating the process.

 

The hazy cloud that fogged up his mind clears in the slightest, just enough for him to comprehend the small plastic crate placed on his, mostly, clean countertop. He had almost forgotten about the little box filled with his yearly supply of, uh, ‘strong medicine’. There is only about 14 syringes yet they all overlap each other. The medicine is only meant for important occasions, such as when he has public appearances planned. His parents made sure to get him only the best of steroids when it came to having to appear healthy to the public eye, of course. Even when he wasn’t as sick he used the drug on occasions. It made his skin glow and his smile wider, according to his Mom.

 

Jeno isn’t sure where the temptation comes from, but he suddenly feels the need to take one of the syringes and stab it straight into his arm. He shouldn’t, he _really_ shouldn’t do it. There is a reason he can only obtain 14 doses at most a year, and even then it’s highly recommended he doesn’t use them all. They’re for important public events _only,_ emergencies only. Frequent usage of the drug has a high chance of causing so many lifelong problems.

 

But hey, it’s not like his ‘lifelong’ life will be that long anyways. Plus, this sudden amount of weakness and pain could easily be considered an emergency. At least that’s what Jeno tells himself when he reaches over to retrieve a syringe, hesitantly injecting the substance into his veins.

 

It doesn’t hurt like he remembers, but it feels weird enough for him to cringe and almost pull it back out. He doesn’t, instead he makes sure every last drop finds its way into his bloodstream, dropping the glass he loosely held in his other hand on the ground. When it shatters all over the floor, he’s too occupied to notice.

 

The results are practically instant, only taking a few minutes for the beginning effects of the fast-working medicine to kick in. He can see clearly, even in the darkness of his poorly lit home, and he can breathe like any normal, healthy person can, his limbs feel brand new and he can move freely. It’s been so long since Jeno has taken the injections, since he’s actually _needed_ to. He forgot how good it felt to be able to function properly, how powerful the drug made him feel.

 

Jeno tosses the now useless and empty syringe on the ground to join the glass shards. He has a strange sense of victory afterwards, and he gets to walk, albeit clumsily, up the stairs and back into his room.

 

He finds himself too energetic to sleep again. The digital clock on his beside dresser reads 1 am. Jeno’s sleeping schedule has never been the best but he’s usually never up this late. He isn’t sure what to do from here, he has a limited amount of activities to participate in at this time of night.

 

He could watch tv until he falls asleep, _nah._

 

He could write in his journal until he’s tired, _nah._

 

Thinking back to his previous actions, or rather words, he gets the perfect idea; go on a walk. Sure, he can’t see jack shit outside, but his legs are working perfectly fine right now and he can’t waste this opportunity.

 

Jeno practically runs ( well he actually gaily skipped ) down his stairs and out his front door. He forgot where he last placed his keys, reasonable since he hasn’t left his house in days, so he just leaves the door unlocked. He’ll be back soon anyways.

 

There is a small dog park close by, so he figures that’s a good place to venture to. He arrives in no time, the walk to the park is short, considering it’s located only about a quarter of a mile away from Jeno’s home. It’s a plain field, basically. There is a few benches, though, and Jeno plans on using them. He walks to the nearest one and stands on it, opening his arms to form his body into an uneven ‘T’ shape.

 

Jeno is in a thin blue pajama set and it works poorly to protect him against natures cool breeze. He doesn’t care, though, the subtle wind feels refreshing. Fresh air feels best like this.

 

He’s not sure what to do now. It’s past midnight and he’s standing on a bench dressed in pajamas, what really can he do?

 

A, quite ridiculous, idea comes to him.

 

Jeno throws his head back and revels in the moment, taking a deep breath before shouting out a loud, “Fuck, ass, fuck, shit, shit!”

 

He laughs at himself. Jeno knows he must look goofy and idiotic, standing on a bench at a dog park at 1 am and yelling random profanities, but he saw this in a movie once and this is the closest he’ll get to a ‘teenage rebellion’ type of situation. It feels good to do something stupid and pointless without having anyone there to judge you, in person or online. Today might have sucked, and sure he slept and cried through most of it, but right now, in this moment, he felt normal and happy, so that’s all that mattered.

  
  


It’s probably around 2am when Jeno makes his way back to his residence. He spend at least half and hour just sitting on the bench with a smile on his face. When he almost dozes off on the hard bench (it’s strange that he’s even tired again, considering the unusual amount of time he’s spent asleep today, but he doesn’t care enough to attempt to rationalize it), he figures it was probably time to head home.

 

When his house finally comes into view, Jeno rethinks his earlier actions. He remembers leaving his front door unlocked, but he does not remember leaving the door _wide open._

 

Jeno tries not to overthink it, he probably just forgot to fully shut it and the wind blew it open.

 

 _Yeah, the wind,_ he reassures himself.

 

He takes cautious steps towards his door. When he’s close enough he presses his flat palm against his door, gently pushing it so it will open wider. He glances around his entryway, seeing nothing out of place, releasing a relieved sigh once he’s assured himself there is to threat.

 

He laughs at his stupid mind. What a silly thought, why would someone rob him right now, this randomly? Must be the drugs getting to him.

 

A gunshot is fired, ringing through Jeno’s ears, seemingly shaking the entire house.

 

Jeno drops to the ground, half his body inside the house and the other half outside. His eyes are open wide, his heart switches from beating rapidly to barely beating at all. The teen is completely frozen in shock. He must be hearing wrong, there is no way that was a gunshot. _In this neighborhood? In his house?_ No way.

 

Two voices scream and another gunshot is fired.

  
  


This time Jeno blacks out.


	4. 4 | Renjun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Renjun’s pretty sure he's going fucking insane, because there is literally no way that Na-motherfucking-Jaemin was standing in front of him right now, a gun clutched tightly in his right hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to not post this week but I'm too impatient to do so

Renjun doesn’t see Jaemin at school the next day, at first he blames himself for possibly scaring Jaemin off, but then he remembers that _‘duh, he’s suspended’._ And it’s not like they exchanged numbers or anything, so all Renjun can do is just hope he sees him again.

 

As for school in general, it’s going okay. He finally got his schedule, with Donghyuck’s assistance, and he’s learned the boy stays stationed in the office for majority of the day. He was confused on how Donghyuck managed to skip so much class, and when he asked the boy about it all he got as a response was, “The teachers gave up trying to make me participate after the first week.” the explanation seemed realistic enough for Renjun to stop questioning it further.

 

Donghyuck was strange, that’s for certain. Renjun is reminded of this when he feels his shoulders being violently pushed down and something brush over the top of his head. When Renjun looks up from the paper he was currently drawing on, Donghyuck is already staring back at him. “Did you just jump over me?”

 

“Yes I did, kiddo,” Donghyuck says, creepily grinning down at Renjun, who is sitting on the floor near him.

 

They’re outside the school on the grass out front. The last period is almost over, both boys deciding to skip it since their teacher had failed to show up. Renjun was in the middle of touching up a painting with colored pencils, but now that Donghyuck is near, he hurriedly shuts his sketchbook. Yet of course, Donghyuck’s nosey self catches on, “Ooouuu whatcha drawin’?” Renjun doesn't even get a chance to respond before Donghyuck is snatching the sketchbook from his hands.

 

Renjun scrambles to his feet, hands helplessly grabbing air in attempt to get his treasured sketchbook back, “Hey, give that back!”

 

“Just let me look at it Renjun.”

 

“No.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“No,” Renjun repeats, although it's pointless, Donghyck is already skimming through the pages.

 

“These are like, really good,” Donghyuck compliments quietly, mostly focused on examining the pages.

 

Renjun attempts to grab at his sketchbook one last time before Donghyuck reaches _that_ page, but of course Donghyuck dodges him, spinning so his back is to Renjun.

 

The gasp is all Renjun needs to know that Donghyuck has seen _it._ “Oh my god! Is that Jaemin?” Donghyuck flips the book around to show Renjun the page he’s already looked at a million times before. It’s a painting-- a really well done one in Renjun's opinion-- of Jaemin’s upper body, the night sky behind him almost as bright as the smile that he’s giving in the picture. The inspiration was taken straight from Renjun’s memories, but Hyuck would never find that out.

 

“It's good and all, but why would you draw Jaemin?” Hyucks asks, genuinely confused. "I didn't even know you knew him."

 

Renjun has never been a good liar, his mind always goes blank in these situations and he can never think of something believable in time. “Can I just… Can I just get my sketchbook back, please?” Renjun pleads.

 

Hyuck looks hesitant, but hands it back nonetheless. “You're not hanging around Jaemin are you? I mean like, I can't stop you but you shouldn't be around him too much, he's trouble.”

 

“Funny how he said the same thing about your boyfriend.”

 

“What!? That's absurd,” Hyuck says defensively.

 

“Speak of the devil,” Renjun mutters, eyes following Mark’s movements as he makes his way over to the duo.

 

“What's absurd babe?” Mark questions once he's close enough to sling his arm around Donghyuck.

 

“Oh… uh,” Donghyuck’s eyes are wide as he stares at his boyfriend. Renjun is confused by Donghyuck’s reaction at first, but then it hits him. Even just mentioning Jaemin must be a trigger of sorts for Mark. Which is quite stupid, but then again, Renjun knew nothing about the situation. “Renjun's drawings! That's what is absurd. He’s soooo talented.”

 

“Really?” Mark turns to Renjun, “Can I see a few of your works?”

 

Renjun doesn't even get to open his mouth before Donghyuck is interrupting him, “He will some other time, but we have to go tidy up your place before he comes over tonight right?” Based on Donghyuck's expression and the way a few of his fingers are creeping under Mark’s shirt, Renjun doesn't want to know what they’ll actually be doing instead of ‘tidying up’.

 

“Oh! That's right. We should get going, then. The sooner the better.”

 

And just like that the couple is already on their way to Mark’s place, Donghyuck only turning around briefly to send a quick wave Renjun’s way.

 

With a long exhale,  Renjun collects his phone from his back pocket and shoots a text to Melanie, his personal chauffeur, to come pick him up.

  
  
  


The car ride back is just as weird as it always is. Renjun doesn’t exactly dislike his father's chauffeur, she’s nice and all, but she’s not the most talkative. Renjun appreciates the silence for the most part, it helps avoid awkward small talk, but he’s kind of sick of silence.

 

Today though, was very loud. He can thank Donghyuck and Crestview for that.

 

Renjun stares out the window, watching the bright sun. An old David Bowie song plays on the radio. The volume is so low he can barely hear it, but he does. His mother use to play this song in their broken down pickup truck and sing along with his father. Those were good times, before she died and before his father changed.

 

A lot is different now. Renjun and his family used to live off of two boxes of macaroni a week and attending a place like Crestview was a blessing. He remembers his first day there, he was so amazed at the size of the small building. Renjun was so excited to start school that he didn’t realize until last minute his parents would have to leave. He cried and threw a huge fit when his mother tried to say goodbye. He clung to his father like his life depended on it, because to his six year old self, it did. Watching his parents leave him was hard. They made it up to Renjun later by cuddling him and watching movies on their neighbors’ TV through the window.

 

Even though his family had struggled to make ends meet, they had loved each other so, so much.

 

Now, his father can’t even look at him for more than five seconds without announcing how disappointed he is. Yes, Renjun is filthy rich, whoopdeedoo, but he’s practically an orphan with his mother dead and his father mentally absent. It’s selfish, there are people out there starving to death but sometimes as the lonely teen is laying down on his 5,000 dollar bed, he finds himself not minding if he were to suddenly join his mother in the afterlife, assuming there is one.

  
  
  


Two seconds after entering his home’s front door, Renjun notices the obviously tense atmosphere. His father is in the large, practically empty room that comes right after the entryway.  Mr. Huang is gripping his phone tightly as its pressed against his ear, pacing back and forth in the large area. His girlfriends aren't glued to his side like they usually are.

 

Renjun knows what this means; business call. Not the usual business calls, those took place during the morning, but a call during the afternoon? This means something went wrong, he also knew that meant his father was stressed and easily agitated. Renjun does what he has done multiple times, he lowers his head and scurries out of his father’s way as quick as possible.

 

The staircase that leads to the second floor isn’t too far, and the faster he gets there the better. With determination to avoid accidentally distracting, aka interrupting his father (because interrupting his father was always an absolute _no_ ), he quickly but silently jogs to the stairs.

 

“Lee Jeno? The Lee’s sick kid?” He hears his father question as he makes his way to his room. Renjun stops dead in his tracks after hearing the name.

 

“When and how? I'll get someone on the job.”

 

He knew what kind of business his father was involved in- it’s how they got this ginormous house in the first place, but that didn’t mean he was proud of what his father did. Renjun has a long list of things he hates, murder being number one on that list. To take away a life, to rid someone of a life longs worth of possibilities, to force their loved ones into grief, he hated it the most.

 

And his father did just that, for a _living._

 

(Well he did, but now that he was promoted, he didn't have to, instead he found people to do the job for him.)

 

Renjun tries to ignore the graphic disturbing thoughts he gets just thinking about his father’s job, most of the time he fails. This was Lee Jeno he was talking about though. _The_ Lee Jeno, the little devil child that ruined his entire life.

 

The Huangs and the Lees got along at some point in time, especially since the Lee family were the Huang’s main source of income, but that was before the court case.

 

Under murder on his hate list, is the Lee family, coming at a close second. He isn’t sure how to feel. If anyone were to be deserving of death, it’d definitely be one of the Lees. Renjun has spent years despising his father for his work, and even longer despising the Lees for being the reason his father does what he does.

 

“You’re gonna kill Lee Jeno?” Renjun outbursts.

 

Renjun is never _ever_ to interrupt his father during a business call, and he is almost scared his father will get angry with him. Though all he does is make a ‘shoo’ing motion at his son and continue his conversation.

 

For a moment, Renjun freezes in place, thinking back to the times when he was younger and his father would call for him instead of making him leave. Renjun likes to believe his father still loves him, but its small moments like this that remind Renjun that to his father he is only a bother. Things weren't like this until his mom died, until the Lee’s ruined everything.

 

Sometimes, like now, he found himself wanting to do the one thing he hated most.

  
He wanted to kill Lee Jeno. He wanted to take his life, to rid him of a life longs worth of possibilities, to force his family into grief. Jeno and his family deserved it, for sure. Renjun was conflicted with himself. He didn't want to follow his father's footsteps, but he wanted to make Jeno pay, badly.

 

“I want to do it instead.”

 

Renjun barely realizes the words left his mouth until his father is looking at him with wide eyes and furrowed brows.

 

“I’m sorry. I’ll have to call you back sir.” His father quickly hangs up the phone, looking at Renjun with a cold expression. “Repeat that.”

 

“I- I want to do it. I want to be the one to kill him. I’ll kill Lee Jeno.”

  
  
  
  


It’s only been an hour since those words left Renjun’s mouth and he’s still thinking about it. Renjun can't believe he not only agreed to do that, but he _offered_ to do that. Murder is what Renjun hated most, it always has been. So why would he say that? This one decision could mess up Renjun’s entire life (spoiler alert: it does), and he has no idea why his stupid mouth just _had_ to say those words.

 

He should tell his father he doesn’t want to do it anymore. Yes, that is exactly what he should do. What could be the consequences anyways? It’s not like his father doesn’t already view him as a worthless failure.

 

Renjun hyped himself up for a few seconds, working up the courage to storm downstairs to take back his previous words and demand his father’s approval. With one last deep inhale, Renjun exits his room before confidently (not really) walking down his stairs with his head held high (he’s actually looking down at his feet).

 

Each step gets him closer and closer to his destination and he feels anxiety bubble in his stomach and crawl up his throat, but that feeling could also be vomit, he isn’t sure.

 

As the end of the staircase approach so does his father, who seems to have noticed his son’s arrival. “I was just going to have Margaret fetch you,” his father says, swirling around the liquid in his wine glass.

 

Renjun swallows nervously, words on the tip of his tongue yet he can’t seem to push them out. “Come have a seat.”

 

A few seconds and footsteps later Renjun is seated in the 2nd to last chair at his dining table, his father in the one next to him. Mr. Huang makes a motion at Margaret, the maid who is waiting patiently in the corner of the room for an order, and she scurries over. She quickly hands him a pen and paper she had stacked away in her pouch.

 

This is when Renjun notices that the three of them are the only ones occupying the large dining hall, no bimbos are lingering around and that’s how Renjun knows this is serious.

 

His father lays out the sheet of paper in the middle of them and Margaret goes back to the corner. “We have to make a plan. Boss wants this done by tomorrow latest and there’s a lot you need to know in order to do this. Now, before all that, I need to know,” his father pauses, placing a hand on Renjun’s shoulder as an attempt to be comforting. “Are you still in? You may back out now, son, but you may only back out now.“

 

 _Back out back out back out backoutbackoutbackout,_ his mind screams at him. But Renjun’s moth betrays him once again. “Of course I’m still in, father.”

 

It’s like he’s watching his life happen from afar, like he has no control over his decisions and his only option is to simply watch as a nameless source controls him.

 

“Okay, good. In that case, we should get started now.” Mr. Huang then clicks the pen. “For starters, what do you know about assassinations?”

 

Renjun racks his brain briefly, mumbling the first few things that come to mind. “Uh, like, guns and shooting and stuff, and like… killing people?”

 

Mr. Huang cackles loudly and slaps his knee, causing Renjun to flinch away from the sudden movement out of instinct. “No, no. Guns are uncreative and a common weapon that could easily trace back to you, I only use them for instances when the target lives in an area where gun violence is common and I don’t want the murder to stand out or be heavily investigated. Personally, I like to take a different, more well thought out route.” He uses gesticulations throughout his sentences and even though they’re unrelated to what he’s talking about and really just look like a bad impersonation of sign language, Renjun still appreciates the casual vibe it adds on to this not-so-casual conversation.

 

“Evidently, I have to teach you a lot in a short amount of time,” Renjun’s father says. He quickly jots down ‘plan’ at the top of the paper on the table, sloppily underlining it, “So we better start now. “

  
  
  
  


Two hours, a few tears, and a couple panicked thoughts later, Renjun is finally alone in his room. It’s kind of funny how this is the longest Renjun has interacted with his father in one sitting, and instead of playing baseball or having a simple conversation like Renjun assumes most fathers and sons do, they planned out a homicide; or more specifically, Lee Jeno’s homicide.

 

There’s so many things going through Renjun’s head at once and he does the only think he can to help him cope: He paints his problems away. The more strokes his paintbrush makes the less worries that fill his brain. There’s not even an image in particular he aspires to create, and there usually isn’t. In moments like this, the troubled, anxious ones, Renjun pours his all thoughts onto the blank paper.

 

For this reason, upon other reasons, Renjun does not share his artworks, _ever._ The day that Renjun willingly allows a pair of eyes that belong to a human other than himself to view the visual representations of his thoughts, is either the day he dies, or the day he falls in love.

 

As of now, time is no longer a valid concept for Renjun. It could be hours, days, years, or possibly seconds later when a knock comes to his door.

 

Renjun glances over his shoulder to see who enters his room, though he already knows who it'll be. His father only takes one step inside, his hand resting on the handle, “Renjun.”

 

“Yes, father?”

 

His father takes a deep breath, seemingly thinking over his words. “Nothing about this, about what you're going to do- what _we_ are going to do, is shameful. Illegal, yes, but it isn't wrong.”

 

Renjun knows exactly what he's talking about, but he doesn't agree with his father's statement in the slightest. “Of course it’s wrong. It's murder.” Renjun just keeps surprising himself with his own words. This is the most he’s spoken his mind in one day.

 

His father sighs, taking a few more steps into Renjun’s room, now only a foot or so away from where Renjun sits in front of his canvas. “You may see it as murder, but I see it as helping,” Mr. Huang says, and it does nothing to change Renjun’s view on the situation. How could murder possibly be help?

 

“There is a reason someone wants them dead, son. I would never kill an innocent man,” Mr. Huang explains. “Some of these clients are in desperate need of help. I had a client, he was stalked for years, constantly tormented by a man who he had rejected years prior. This client did everything he could to get rid of the stalker, he went to the police on multiple occasions, moved locations countless times, gave up all hope on having any social media, and his entire social life had been destroyed. If it hadn't been for me and my workers, that client would have had to live in constant fear for the rest of his life. We saved him, freed him. Can't you see that?”

 

By now Mr. Huang was close enough to place his hand on Renjun’s shoulder, and when his palm meets the teen's shoulder, he flinches, not expecting the sudden contact.

 

“Okay, okay,” Renjun starts. “I suppose instances in which a planned death is, uhm… _helpful._ But what about Jeno? Who are we helping by getting rid of him?”

 

“I'm not told this kind of information anymore, it's no longer a part of my position. But I trust my boss enough to know that what we're doing is helpful.”

 

“So you don't even know who wants him dead?” Renjun questions, doubtful.

 

His father shakes his head, “Perhaps I would have found out if I wasn't interrupted during the call.”

 

“Oh, sorry.”

 

“If you want to know that bad, I'll make sure to let you know later tonight.” His father removes his hand and retreats back to the doorway. “it's only seven right now, you have a few hours before we need to leave. I suggest you rest and relax until then.”

 

His father is almost out the door when he remembers, “Wait! I’m supposed to meet up with some friends soon.”

 

“Friends?” Mr. Huang looks both surprised and confused.

 

“Kind of.” Renjun pulls at the fabric of his jeans, unsure where this conversation is going.

“I see,” his father hums. “I’ll have Mel start the car, then.”

 

“Ok,” Renjun nods.

 

“I'll pick you up tonight. We’ll have to go straight from your friend’s house to Jeno’s,” He informs.

 

Renjun nods again, awkwardly coughing. They stay silent for a few moments longer, unsure of what else to say.

 

“Well, uhm, I'll go get Melanie….”

 

“Ok.”

 

And then his father is finally gone.

  
  
  
  
  


Renjun isn't sure what he expected Mark’s house to look like, but he hadn't expected it to be so underwhelming. It was a completely normal suburban-ish looking house, with a few chips in the paint and grass that was in desperate need to be mowed. Renjun could tell the home was a bit run down, but there was nothing too out of the ordinary, it was in pretty good shape compared to where Renjun used to live. Then again, this side of town was always a bit nicer.

 

_This really is just a house._

 

That thought comforts Renjun slightly, easing his nerves a bit. Thank god Mark didn’t live in an intimidating area, because Renjun couldn't handle being in an intimidating environment with an even more intimidating Mark. In all honesty, Mark scares the shit out of Renjun, and Renjun hopes he never has to spend time alone with the guy.

 

Renjun cracks his knuckles, wiggles his fingers, and rolls his shoulders before finally raising his fist knock. With one last, long exhale, Renjun delivers the first knock.

 

His hand only applies the slightest amount of pressure, and yet the door goes flying open. Apparently Mark wasn’t too keen on locking his doors, which is unexpected, considering how protective he seems to be over all his other possessions.

 

“Uhm…. Mark? Donghyuck?” Renjun calls out, deciding against taking a step inside the home and instead keeping his feet glued to the old welcome mat placed outside.

 

“Coming!” Donghyuck yells. Renjun hears someone else speak, too, though their sentence is muffled.

 

Within a few seconds Donghyuck is standing in front of Renjun with that big, goofy smile of his, inviting the shy boy inside. Renjun takes note of Donghyuck's disheveled appearance, messy hair, unbuttoned pants, and a shirt with a stretched collar that was obviously tugged on too many times. He has a pretty good idea of who caused it.

 

“Wassup’ man, took ya long enough. Hyuck was worried you bailed on us,” Mark says, taking his usual place beside Donghyuck. The older boy doesn’t seem to be in a better state, his hair just as messed up, his shirt not even on his body, and his sweatpants barely hanging on his nonexistent hips.

 

“Sorry, my father was just hesitant to let me come over,” Renjun lies.

 

“Whatever,” Mark mumbles. “Get comfy, Hyuck planned shit for us to do.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Babe how the fuck are we supposed to make chocolate cake without any mix?” Mark asks.

 

So far it's been two hours of just pure bickering and buffoonery. Time spent with Mark and Hyuck is almost fun, until Mark gets angry over something stupid, which happens every twenty minutes. Renjun has no idea what Donghyuck sees in Mark, but perhaps his judgment could be incorrect. Maybe Mark is just not used to having other people than his boyfriend inside his household, causing him to be a but more hostile than usual, so Renjun tries not to make any assumptions.

 

Nonetheless, Renjun is uncomfortable, to say the least. But Donghyuck wanted to have a good time. Renjun can tell he’s trying really hard to make things enjoyable, so Renjun laughs through the awkwardness and lightens the mood any chance he gets.

 

“Well the store is down the street, we can just buy some, right?” Hyuck suggests.

 

Mark doesn't seem pleased, but he agrees anyways, “Whatever. I’ll go by myself. I'll be back in five minutes.” With that, he’s shoving his feet inside his nikes and leaving the house.

A minute or so passes of Renjun tapping his nails against the tabletop of Mark’s kitchen counter until the silence breaks. “How did you and Mark meet?”

 

Donghyuck seems to perk up at this, skipping his way into the kitchen from the living room. He seats himself on the counter next to where Renjun is standing, “He came to my 8th grade graduation for his little cousin. He saw me and I saw him, and we just _clicked._ You know? Ever since then we kept running into each other and he eventually asked me on a date.”

 

Renjun nods, even though doesn't know what the fuck ‘ _clicked_ ’ means. And then the Donghyuck's words process in his brain. “Wait how long ago was this?”

 

“last year,” the red head responds.

 

“Last year!?” Renjun doesn't mean to look as shocked as he is. “You're a freshman? I thought you were only a year younger than Mark and I.”

 

“Well I’m almost five years younger than Mark, he was held back,” Donghyuck explains.

 

Before Renjun can say anything else, though, Donghyuck is speaking again. “What about you? You got any romance going on recently?”

 

Renjun hates how short his attention span can be. He also hates how the first thing that comes to his mind is that stupid boy with light brown hair, sparkling eyes, and soft lips- _Jaemin._  Renjun hesitates before answering, “Not really, but there is someone who I spent a night with-"

 

“Spent a night with!?”

 

“Nononono not like that,” Renjun rushes out. “Nothing inappropriate. We just spent the day with each other and talked, laughed, kissed.”

 

“Ooouuu lala,” Hyuck says, wiggling his brows. “So who is the special lady, hmm?”

 

If this were anyone else but Hyuck, who happens to be in a gay relationship himself, Renjun would have played along. But he trusts the artificial red head, and it’d be a bit hypocritical for Hyuck to judge him.

 

“ _He_ goes to our school,” Renjun informs while he looks through Mark's cabinets for a snack. He finds a small bag of caramel popcorn, and he us quite pleased to do the honours of finishing it.

 

When he turns back to Hyuck, he doesn't expect him to look so disappointed. “It's Jaemin, isn't it?”

 

“Listen I don't know what happened between you guys but Jaemin is a really sweet guy. He treated me good and made me happy, even if it was for only a night. I'm not saying I like him,” Renjun pauses, “I'm just interested. That's all.”

 

“He’s no good, Renjun.” Donghyuck hops down from the counter, standing in front of Renjun with sad eyes. And honestly, Renjun is so sick of hearing that.

 

“I thought he was amazing in the beginning, too. Jaemin, Mark, and I were a team, a fucking power trio. In the end, though, we found out he was just a manipulative cunt.” Hyuck sends Renjun a tight lipped smile. “He was using Mark for a place to stay. He even tried to break Mark and I up, using the excuse of ‘oh, Hyuck’s too young, your relationship isn't right, blah blah blah’,” Hyuck mocks.

 

Donghyuck pats Renjun’s shoulder comfortingly before saying his next words. “Jaemin thinks with his dick half of the time. So whatever sweet words he told you, he only said them to get In your pants. M’sorry.”

 

Renjun let's out a shaky breath, “Oh.”

 

And now it all makes sense, Renjun thinks. _Why else would anyone voluntarily spend so much time with you, especially someone like Jaemin?_

 

“Aww come here,” Donghyuck says, almost mockingly, his arms wide open, making grabby hands towards the older. Renjun steps closer, letting Hyuck’s arms enclose around his small body. Donghyuck's hands pat his back, rubbing small soothing circles.

 

Renjun realizes that Donghyuck, despite being weird and loud and bratty at times, is really good at comforting. What he doesn't realize, though, is Mark standing in the doorway; cake mix dropped on the floor and his fists clenched.

  
  
  
  


Renjun gets kicked out of Mark’s house that day, told that if he ever came back he'd go home with a broken nose and an empty wallet. Donghyuck texts him countless apologies and excuses. All along the lines of _‘Mark just isn't used to other people. He's really sorry. We can still be friends, right?’_

 

Renjun, now friendless again, spends all of Saturday discussing the details of Lee Jeno’s murder with his father. His father was able to talk freely about it, almost as if he was talking about his favorite hobby. Which, most probably, he was.

 

Sometimes, life really is just utterly fucked.

  
  
  
  


Renjun’s hands shake as he pushes the sliding doors open, taking cautious steps inside the residence.

 

_“It’s a common mistake that people make, leaving their back doors, windows, and other entrances unlocked. Check all alternate entries first to make things easier for yourself.”_

 

Renjun isn’t wearing shoes, he took those off in his Father’s car, which is parked down the street. Instead his feet are comfortably inside socks with grips on the bottom, like the ones you receive at trampoline parks. Now he had no chance of leaving footprints, and with his hands securely covered by gloves, prints of any kind that would trace back to Renjun were practically impossible to create. His father had assured him that no one would search for prints, anyway.

 

_“If you do this correctly, there is no reason for anyone to be suspicious. Jeno’s life expectancy is another year or two at most, his sudden passing wouldn't be all that surprising. His death has no chance of being ruled as a homicide, just don't fuck this up.”_

 

It was as simple as that. For once, Renjun just had to do things correctly and not fuck everything up. Yeah, simple.

 

Renjun takes a few steps inside, pausing after every movement for maximum caution.

 

_“All you need to do is get this substance into his body. You don't even have to get near him, just pour it into his orange juice carton. He’ll drink it in the morning, his mother assured me of it.”_

 

Navigating in the dark wasn't nearly as hard as Renjun thought it'd be, it was unlikely he'd run into any objects. Furniture was spaced out in an organized, neat manner. Rich people seemed to like open space, only decorating their homes with a few insanely expensive items. The Lee family was no different, apparently.

 

Finding the kitchen was easy enough. The two story home had no bedrooms on this 1st floor, his father had told him so. This meant there was even lesser chance of Renjun getting caught. His father assured him that Jeno would be upstairs in his bedroom, sound asleep.

 

It's unusually chilly in the kitchen, almost as if someone had left a window open or something, but that was unimportant, Jeno probably just fancied his air conditioning.

 

At this point, Renjun is only a foot away from the fridge, where the juice carton would be.

 

_“Pour the powder in and shake, it'll slowly dissolve and blend in with the juice, like koolaid. The effects will be quick, but not immediate. He'll get very sick over the course of a week. Nothing will seem off for the Lee’s, it’ll just seem like his illness flared up. No one will suspect a thing, and by the time he's dead, the substance will be untraceable.”_

 

This was it, this was when Renjun would open that fridge, take out that carton, pour the packet of powder inside, place it back in that fridge. And the next morning, Jeno would drink from it without suspecting a thing. Everything would be fine, Jeno would die and Renjun would live, thousands of dollars richer, not that he needed it.

 

So why was he here, about to commit one of the worst crimes of all?

 

Well, to put it simply, Renjun was a pussy; he couldn't stand to see the disappointment in his father's face when his son admitted that he didn't have it in him to be a murderer. This was the first time in years he'd seen his father's eyes light up, and sadly, it was because of _this_. Because Renjun Huang, who stood inside Lee Jeno --a kid he hasn't seen since he was nine-- ‘s home, and was currently moments away from becoming a murderer.

 

Renjun didn't want to be a murderer, no matter how much his father-- his only living relative, the only one that still cared-- wanted him to be.

_“You can do this, son. I've planned this all put perfectly for you. It'll be quick and easy. There is absolutely no reason to panic.”_

 

Panic: something Renjun did often. Also something that he was currently doing, because he's a hundred percent sure that he just heard the front door open. And he’s pretty sure he's going fucking insane, because there is literally no way that Na _-motherfucking-_ Jaemin was standing in front of him right now, a gun clutched tightly in his right hand.

 

Jaemin, or at least, what Renjun thinks is some kind of hallucination of Jaemin, raises the gun. He blindly fires, his eyes shut tightly. The loud sound echoes throughout the entire house.

 

Renjun gasps, dropping to the ground. In his panicked, confused state, he is too occupied to notice the shards of glass surrounding him. It's only when he tries to back away from Jaemin, and his palm is pierced by a sharp shard, that he becomes aware.

 

When Renjun lifts his hand to inspect the injury, momentarily forgetting about the other presence in the room. There is blood oozing out of his palm, where a large fragment of glass is lodged deep in the skin.

 

Renjun screams, loud and clear.

 

Jaemin does too, and out of panic, he fires again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the feedback I really appreciate it and if u want to leave any suggestions or whatever then feel free


	5. 5 | Donghyuck and Mark (filler)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck loved Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't finished writing the real chapter five and I had this written so I thought I'd post it just until I'm finushed with the other chapter. I apologize if ur disappointed. I'm doing every thing i can to make the chapter where they all meet decent but I'm extremely unsatisfied with it and i feel like i need to post so here.

Donghyuck liked Mark. 

 

The realization came to him only a week after the two started ‘flirting’, if that's even what you would call it. It started with Mark's charming smile, that contagious grin. 

 

Mark was amazing, with the sweet words that he would whisper into Hyuck’s ear, the body warmth he radiated when they cuddled in his bed, and that persuading tongue of his. What really got him hooked, though, was the way Mark would comfort Hyuck when he was crying hysterically, or how Mark managed to make him crack a smile when he felt like he’d never smile again.

 

Mark welcomed Donghyuck into his house with open arms. Mark cooked for him (well, at least he  _ tried  _ to). Mark sacrificed for him, cutting off contact with his own family simply because they didn't approve of his boyfriend. Mark gave Donghyuck hope for a better life- Mark gave Donghyuck a better life. 

 

Mark made Donghyuck feel at home, something he had never felt before. 

 

Donghyuck loved Mark.

 

Mark was homey, comfortable, and warm. He helped and protected Hyuck in every way he could, whether that was by making sure Donghyuck passed all his tests, or putting him on a diet to keep him healthy, or by blocking people's numbers on his phone. It was all to  _ protect  _ him.

 

Within their first year of dating, Hyuck lost 30 pounds, all his friends, and all his social media privileges. This was all thanks to his warm, loving, and caring boyfriend, Mark.

 

Mark changed his life around for Donghyuck. Mark moved out of his step dad's house and into a house Hyuck and him could share. Mark repeated a year of school instead of dropping out. Mark even stopped working for Rafael, just because he wanted to get better for Hyuck. And no matter how many times Hyuck found cocaine in Mark’s bag, even after Mark claimed he was done selling drugs, Hyuck believed him.

 

Donghyuck is  _ in  _ love with Mark.

 

They were going to get married someday, Mark promised. 

 

Donghyuck couldn't wait for that day to come. He could imagine their ceremony. There would be a huge wedding cake with pink cake mix, pink decorations everywhere, and the bridesmaids would all wear pink.

 

Donghyuck really liked pink, so much that he dyed his hair pink one day. He was so excited to show his boyfriend, to see the look of surprise. When he showed the older boy, though, he didn't seem too happy.

 

Mark didn't like pink, he preferred red. Donghyuck dyed his hair red afterwards.

 

Donghyuck is attached to Mark.

 

Mark is all Donghyuck has, and Donghyuck is all Mark has, yet sometimes it seems like Mark doesn't want him anymore. Mark doesn't smile at Hyuck's ridiculous imagination anymore, doesn't laugh at his snarky comments, doesn't even acknowledge him half of the time. 

 

Mark seems uninterested. That is, until Renjun comes around. Renjun was Hyuck's first friend in months, ever since Mark convinced him all his old ones were toxic. The passionate flame that use to sparkle in Mark's eyes when he looked at Donghyuck was gone. A different fire was lit in Mark's eyes when he was angry, when he was jealous. And although the fire was different, it was similar enough for Donghyuck, and he wanted to see more of it.

 

Mark doesn't like him talking to Renjun, so he does it anyway. 

 

Mark doesn't like him hanging out with Renjun, so he does it anyway.

 

Mark doesn't like him touching Renjun, so he does it anyway. 

 

Donghyuck is in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably a bad time for a self promo my my Instagram is @cjskay if yall wanna follow.


	6. 6 | Jaemin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well then what are you waiting for? Let's go on an adventure."
> 
>  
> 
> Jaemin makes some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard to write bc I couldn't portray Jeno how I wanted and if some of you are confused by the way he's acting it'll make sense later on.

In all honesty, Jaemin has no fucking clue how this happened. One minute he was getting off the train, and the next he was firing his Beretta. Now there was blood, and lots of screaming.

 

Jaemin didn't mean to shoot, he just did, and he did again. He was scared, unusually so. It's like his body was making decisions before his mind could catch up, and every few minutes reality would hit him, giving him a moment to take in everything he had unknowingly done.

 

And now, as reality starts to set in and Jaemin realizes what he had been doing- or trying to do, he drops the gun.

 

It only gets worse when Jaemin takes a second to look at the person he had been aiming at. He feels like he's hallucinating. Yeah, that's probably it because what the fuck. Actually, no, _why_ the fuck did the boy on the floor, the one Jaemin had just shot at- twice, strongly resemble Renjun.

 

This made no sense. Why would Renjun be here, at this place at this time? Renjun's mansion was on the other side of town. It wasn't adding up.

 

And then it crossed Jaemin's mind that he not only for some reason runs into Renjun at a place he was trying to rob, but he also shot at him, fucking _twice._

 

Renjun seemed to recognize Jaemin around the same time Jaemin had recognized Renjun. It becomes obvious when Renjun shouts, “Jaemin?!”

 

Hearing Renjun's loud cry of Jaemin’s name seems to wake him up further, and he is reminded of the situation they are in.

 

“Hey! Quiet down and don't panic okay, shhh,” Jaemin hushes Renjun, cautiously approaching his figure. Renjun looks like he might shit himself, and in any other situation, Jaemin would laugh about it. “Listen, I have no clue why you're here, but we've made way too much noise. So if you don't want to get caught then we need to leave, like right fucking now.”

 

Renjun seems to ponder for a moment, like he really had any other logical choice than to do what Jaemin had said. “I-"

 

Renjun doesn't get to finish his sentence, another presence in the room making themselves known.

 

“Take whatever you want.”

 

Both Renjun and Jaemin look over towards the voice. There is a man- a young adult, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. It's hard to see him because the house is, for the most part pitch black, though the light from outside, visible due to the open door, reaches the kitchen slightly. It illuminates a small portion of the man's face, but he is still unidentifiable to Jaemin.

 

“What?” Jaemin and Renjun ask in sync, briefly glancing at each other afterwards (Jaemin refrains from going “jinx, you owe me a soda". Now was not the appropriate time).

 

“I said, take whatever you want,” The man repeats. “I won't stop you. I won't even call the cops. Just as long as you take me with when you're done.”

 

Jaemin almost asks ‘what?’ again, but his last attempt wasn't exactly successful. “...Are you serious?”

 

“Completely. I'm fucking sick of this place and I refuse to spend my last months locked away here. Take me with you.” The man looks determined now.

 

Jaemin is almost certain that his weed was laced with some really bad shit and that he's on some kind of trip, because really, nothing about this situation made any sense.

 

“But you probably only have a few minutes,” The man informs, “because even though I won't call the cops, I can't say my neighbors won't. Two gunshots in a neighborhood like this won't go unnoticed.”

 

Jaemin nods, only because he's not sure what else to do. He hears Renjun get up from the floor.

 

“Why would you trust us enough to leave with us?” Renjun asks, eyes not even looking up from the floor; not that it really mattered, nothing was really all that visible in the dark space.

 

“I don’t,” The man answers simply. “The worst that could happen is that I die, but that'll happen soon whether I go with you or not. I just need some excitement before I die, I absolutely refuse to have my last memories be me sitting on my couch, watching reruns of kdramas.”

 

The man steps closer to the duo, flipping on the switch process, lighting up the room. “So what d’you say? You in or out?”

  


Maybe it was the drugs making reality slip away again, maybe it was the way the stranger's tone was so hopeful, or maybe it was the fact that Jaemin didn't really have any other choice. Whatever the case, Jaemin nods, “I'm in.”

 

“Me too,” Renjun says.

 

And wow, that was easy.

 

“Okay great! Let me go pack my bags. I'll only be a minute, in the meantime help yourself to whatever you'd like.” The stranger practically skips away, probably to his room or something.

Jaemin waits a few seconds until he is sure the man is gone before turning to Renjun, “Let's go. This guy's a fucking weirdo.”

 

Renjun grabs Jaemin's wrist before he can escape. “I can’t. I drove here with my dad. He's parked down the street waiting for me, I only have a few minutes until he drives down here to collect me and I can't go back without doing what he sent me here to do.”

 

Renjun is expecting Jaemin's question. “What did he send you here to do?”

 

“I can’t tell you that, but I don't think I can do what he wants me to, so there's no way I can go back,” Renjun says. Even though there's so many more questions Jaemin wants to ask, the pleading look on Renjun's face stops him from doing so. Jaemin was always a sucker for pretty boys with begging eyes.

 

Jaemin has never had a good reputation, and it's only worsened thanks to Mark. To pretty much all of his peers he was nothing more than a stealing, scamming, untrustworthy cunt. It's never bothered him before, everyone could go fuck themselves in Jaemin’s opinion. Yet, as he's staring in Renjun’s beautiful, begging eyes, he can't help but want to prove himself. He wanted Renjun to trust him, and now was his chance.

 

Jaemin looks straight into Renjun’s worried eyes, placing both hands on the smaller boy's shoulders, “Don't worry. I’ve got this, I’ve got you.”

 

This would have been a nice moment between the two if it wasn't for the heavy footsteps coming from the ceiling above them reminding them of how little time they had. “Are we leaving together, right now, or are we leaving with him? I need you to decide, Renjun.”

 

Jaemin can see the dilemma going on in Renjun's head, and it almost makes him a little annoyed.

 

_C’mon, kid, we ain't got all day._

 

“In all honesty, I don't even want to go home,” Renjun admits. “So I guess I only really have one option.”

 

Jaemin nods, “I can't go home either. At least not without seven grand.”

 

“So we’re in this together?”

 

“Damn right.”

  


The footsteps get quiet before they get louder and the stranger approaches the duo. “Are you guys ready to roll yet?” He asks. A backpack securely rests on his shoulders before he slides one strap off his shoulder, unzipping the bag to quickly shove a small box from the counter inside.

 

Jaemin turns to him, “We’re on a tight schedule, so right now illegally exchanging your items for cash isn't in our best interests.”

 

The man nods. “So how bout’ I just give you some cash, then?”

 

“Sounds great to me.”

 

“Perfect, I've already got a few thousand in my bag along with my credit card, so trust me, we’ll be set for take off.”

 

“Speaking of, we really need to get going, like asap,” Renjun reminds, voice low and eyes on Jaemin, as if he were _only_ talking to him.

 

“Well then what are you waiting for?” The man asks as he makes his way towards the exit, “Let's go on an adventure.”

  
  
  
  
  


“You don't have a car?” Jaemin asks the man, almost offended.

 

“No, I never got my license. And I'm suppose to be on bed rest. A car would be pointless,” he explains.

 

“Well then how are we supposed to go on an adventure without a fucking vehicle.” Jaemin barely manages to keep his volume at a whisper.

 

“I thought you guys would have a car. Like, a van or something. How else would you get here and rob me? You guys kind of suck at this.”

 

Jaemin would take great offense to someone, especially a stranger, underestimating his robbery talent, but there are bigger issues at the moment. “The plan was to steal one.” And wow, Jaemin should think more carefully before he speaks, especially if he's lying.

 

“Oh!” The stranger perks up at this, “I've got the perfect victim.”

 

Renjun and Jaemin share a look.

 

“My neighbor has a collection of nice cars he likes to keep on display, they're his ‘precious babies’ but it's not like he needs them for reasons other than to flex on our middle aged milf neighbors.”

 

The man makes a gesture for the duo to follow them right before he runs off. Jaemin and Renjun have no other choice than to follow behind him.

  
  
  


Jaemin had no idea Renjun- the jumpy, anxious, introvert- knew how to hotwire a car.

 

 _“_ I watched a bunch of youtube videos about it when I was bored.” Had been his simple explanation.

 

Jaemin stares at him in disbelief, and it briefly crosses his mind that he, no matter how many hours they spent talking that one night, knew very little about Renjun, and vice-versa.

 

Still, as Renjun backs out of the driveway, it feels quite bizarre. Renjun was a decent driver, at least until he almost swerved off the road, claiming that his father's car had just passed them.

 

“Your father?”

 

Renjun's eyes go wide, registering his mistake. Jaemin acts fast, “He _thinks_ it was his father. PTSD, ya know?”

 

The stranger nods, and then Jaemin decides that continuing a conversation would be beneficial for two reasons: one, he had a lot of questions, and two, it would prevent the stranger himself from asking questions. Jaemin has to be slick, though. The stranger might get agitated or defensive if he feels like he's being interviewed.

 

“I'm Jaemin,” He introduces. Then he quickly points at the teen driving, “And that, is Renjun. But you probably already knew that due to the amount of times we've called each other by name.”

 

The man nods, introducing himself with a simple, “Jeno.”

 

“Jeno,” Jaemin repeats. “Cute name, suits you.” No matter the situation, Jaemin can never give up the chance to be a flirt.

 

Renjun clears his throat, “So, uhm, where exactly are we planning on going?”

 

“Well at first I assumed you guys would go to some cool place to sell my belongings, but seeing as you didn't take anything- at least I don't think so- then I have no idea. Let's just go wherever you guys were planning to go.”

 

Renjun quickly glances back at Jaemin, silently asking him to answer the open question. “Forget about that, how bout’ we all come up with a new destination.”

 

“Sounds perfect to me,” Jeno agrees. “What about you, Renjun? You got any suggestions?”

 

Even in the dark Jaemin can see Renjun's ears go red from the sudden attention on him.

 

“Uhm. Well, it’s really late. So like, I think a hotel or-or something to sleep until morning when we can figure all of this out? I think that's the uh, smartest option.”

 

No one responds at first, so Renjun adds, “But that's just what I think! We don't have to or anything.”

 

“The night just started, though. Let's figure it out along the way. I want to do something crazy tonight. Yeah?” Jeno turns his body so he can look at Jaemin in the back seat.

 

Initially, Jaemin wants to say, _‘Fuck yeah! I love that idea’,_ because doing something even crazier than stealing a car with Renjun and an acquaintance -whose house he tried to rob- does sound _really fun._ He looks at Renjun first, though, and he can see the boy's fingers fidgeting on the wheel. Renjun wasn't the adventurous type, he was never one to make impulsive decisions, always uncomfortable at the thought of doing things without a plan, especially with people he wasn't ‘cool’ with. Which also makes it much more confusing as to why he was at Jeno’s house in the first place.

 

Nonetheless, Jaemin rejects Jeno’s idea, regardless of the fact that he actually agrees with him. “Renjun's right, we should get some good ol’ shut eye and _then_ go batshit.”

 

Jeno hums, the dissatisfaction apparent on his face. Then, suddenly he perks up. “I know exactly what hotel to go to, Renjun take a left right here,” he instructs, Renjun obediently turning the corner.

  
  
  


They haven't arrived at their destination yet. No one out of the trio has spoken much, aside from Jeno giving Renjun directions. Jaemin can tell Jeno has a lot he wants to say, but refrains from doing so. It shows in the way Jeno opens his mouth to speak, only to close it a few moments later after decided to remain silent, and his leg bounces furiously with the amount of effort it takes to keep his mouth shut.

 

When Jaemin’s eyes fall on Renjun, he notices the way he steers with his left hand mostly, and only the tips of his middle and pointer finger on his right hand are touching the wheel. Jaemin’s eyes lower slightly, and that's when he sees it.

 

“Renjun, you're bleeding.” The possibility that Jaemin himself is the one that causes Renjun's injury crosses his mind, but if Jaemin really had correctly aimed the gun and his bullet really did go through Renjun's hand, it'd be more obvious, right? There's no way someone could drive with a bullet wound.

 

Coincidentally, Renjun has slowed down at a stop sign, so Jaemin is able to safely reach over and take hold of Renjun's hand to inspect it closer. Even with Jaemin’s gentle grip, Renjun winces.

 

“Pull over,” Jeno demands (politely).

 

Once the car is in park mode, Jeno takes out his phone, turning the flashlight and directing it to Renjun's palm. A- not small but not large- shard is still lodged inside the skin, along with a few tiny pieces.

 

_Phew, I didn’t actually shoot him. False alarm._

 

“Stay still, I can get a few pieces out right now and the tiny fragments out later tonight, but this will help lessen the pain.”

 

Jeno hands Jaemin his phone, instructing him to hold it. Then, with the utmost gentleness, pulls out the biggest piece, flicking it out the window. He only manages to get out two of the tiny glass fragments, but Jaemin can tell Renjun is thankful nonetheless. “Was this from the glass on my floor?”

 

Renjun nods in response, and Jeno mumbles out an apology. “I believe I dropped a cup and didn't bother cleaning up afterwards.”

 

“It’s okay,” Renjun mutters, volume barely above a whisper.

 

Jeno, with both hands, grips the bottom of his blue pajama top, ripping the cloth to get a long strip off. He wraps it around Renjun's wound, once, then twice, “There ya go buddy. Now, let's drive.”

  
  
  


When Renjun pulls into the parking lot of a very, very fancy hotel with a name that looks way too difficult to pronounce, Jaemin is reminded that Jeno is _loaded._ Which makes a lot of sense now that he thinks about it. Jeno lived in one of the nicest neighborhoods Jaemin has ever seen, and according to Jeno it was just his beach house until his eighteenth birthday, when his parents would buy him and actual home. Plus, the fact that Jeno was able to pack a ‘few thousand’ dollars in a few minutes without any second thought, as if he just had stacks of money laying around, which is a possibility.

 

“Don’t go through valet,” Jeno says, as if Renjun was planning on doing it in the first place. “We have to remember this car was stolen.”

 

“I think this is the last place the cops would search for a stolen vehicle, they'd probably check my neighborhood for that.” Jaemin laughs.

 

“Whatever,” Jeno huffs. “Let's go inside.”

 

“Isn't it weird to check into a hotel at 4 am?” Renjun asks.

 

“Nah, they have 24 hour service for a reason.”

  


Jaemin isn't surprised at all at the inside of the hotel. It's just as luxurious as he expected, yet he still gasps, eyes wide. The lobby itself is bigger than Jaemin’s entire house. There is a long, red velvety carpet that leads them to a front desk, the rest of the floor is black marble that is so shiny and clear that Jaemin could use it as a mirror.

 

The walls are outlined in gold, which could possibly be real, and Jaemin notices that red and gold seems to be their theme.

 

When the trio arrives to the front desk, Jeno already has his card ready. The woman behind the desk smiles at Jeno, “What brings you here at this time? Your father was here last night.”

 

And _of course_ Jeno is a regular customer here, at least Jaemin assumes so. “Just made some new friends I wanted to bring here,” Jeno jabs his thumb to Jaemin first, then Renjun.

 

The lady nods, “You want your usual room or a three bedroom?”

 

“Three bedroom.”

 

She hands him the key card, and then they're off to the elevators.  Even the elevator is fancy, full glass to that the people inside can see the people outside, and vice-versa.

 

When they arrive to the fifth floor, Jaemin takes note of how far apart the doors are. In fact, he only counts about 6 doors.

 

_Just how big are the rooms?_

 

He gets his answer when Jeno opens the door to room 2. From what he can tell,  there is three separate bedrooms, a whole kitchen, and a huge, open living room. The insides match the same theme as the outside, meaning most of the furniture and decorations are gold and crimson. Jaemin would make more observations, but his attention in currently in Jeno, who is running towards the ridiculously large sofa and jumping on it, limbs spread wide.

 

Jaemin chuckles, deciding to do the same in the smaller sofa next to it. Renjun, on the other hand, is already inspecting the bedrooms.

 

“The first one on the left is mine,” Renjun says monotonously.

 

“Dibs on the second best one.”

 

“Hey!” Jeno whines, “I'm the one paying, I get first pick.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


About twenty minutes or so later all three teens are roaming around the hotel room- more like apartment, really.

 

“So…” Jeno starts, breaking the ice. “Do y'all mind if I ask a couple questions?”

 

Jaemin shrugs, “Sure.” And Jeno doesn't wait for Renjun's agreement.

 

“Okay great because I have a ton.” Jeno sits on the fluffy carpet in front of the sofa. “But, as someone who has always hated interviews, I don't want to make this feel like one. So get comfy.”

 

Jaemin and Renjun oblige, seating themselves on the carpet as well, forming an uneven triangle.

 

“Why don’t you both tell me about yourselves, ya know, like an introduction.”

 

Renjun looks over at Jaemin, and Jaemin can tell he doesn't want to go first. “Well, for starters, I'm Jaemin and I'm seventeen; a senior in high school.”

 

“What high school?” Jeno interrupts.

 

“Crestview, I doubt you've ever heard of it.”

 

“I have, actually,” Jeno corrects. “I had a friend that went there.”

 

“Oh. Who? I might know them.”

 

“Well he went to the elementary, actually. I'm not sure if he still goes there but his name was Injun Huang. Ring any bells?”

 

Jaemin shakes his head, “No, sorry. He must've transferred.” Jaemin looks over at Renjun, then. He knows it could just be a coincidence, yet he can't help but to be suspicious. It's one thing to share a last name with someone, but also a first name that is similar? Plus, Jaemin knows Renjun attended Crestview elementary, and that's way too many similarities.

 

Renjun is stiff, staring at Jeno with wide eyes. Yeah, no way it's just a coincidence. He'll have to add that to his list of ‘things to ask Renjun about’ list.

 

“Why don’t you go next, _ren_ jun.” Jaemin almost feels bad, but Renjun has some explaining to do.

 

Renjun clears his throat. “Well, uhm, I'm Renjun. I'm eighteen, and I'm homeschooled, always have been.”

 

Oh, so Renjun is older. Interesting.

 

“Short and simple, cool. How did you guys meet?” Jeno asks.

 

And just for the hell of it, Jaemin decides to force Renjun to tell the story. “Renjun tells this story so much better,” Jaemin states. Renjun blinks, not getting the hint. “Go on, tell it.”

 

“Oh,” He breathes. “Well, we were uh, we were uhm-"

 

Renjun's breathing has noticeably quickened in the past minute, so Jaemin gives him a break. “I saw him at the park, and we started talking after that. A simple story, really.”

 

“When did you guys become a cool like badass-thieves-with-guns-duo? Recently I would assume, because no offence you guys weren't that sneaky.”

 

 _Oh, right._ Jeno thought of Renjun and Jaemin as a duo, two best friends who profited off of stolen goods. And Jaemin had to go along with it for Renjun's sake. He didn't know what Renjun was trying to hide, but it didn't bother him that much, although he was very curious about the matter.

 

“It was Renjun's first time coming with, but I been doin’ shit like that for a long time.”

 

“You think you could show me how to do it?” Jeno leans forward on his elbows, tummy laying flat on the carpet.

 

“Show you how to do what?” Jaemin asks.

 

“Steal, I've never done it, like ever.” Jeno smiles up at Jaemin, his eyes making perfect half circles, “Please.”

 

And how could Jaemin say no to a smile that damn cute?

 

“Let's make a list,” Renjun says, and Jaemin feels bad for almost forgetting about his presence. “A list of like all the, the stuff you want to do.”

 

Jeno lights up even more. “Like a bucket list?” Renjun nods. “Junnie you're a genius! Let me have room service bring us up some paper and a pen.”

 

(“And some pain killers,” Renjun reminds.

 

“Oh yeah, I’m on it.”)

  
  
  
  
  


Ten minutes later Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun hover over a sheet of paper, all three still seated on the comfortable floor. The top of the paper reads ‘BUCKET LIST’ in all caps, and underlined twice to show just how important it is, according to Jeno.

 

“Add ‘the’ in front,” Renjun says. “It'll make it sound more official.”

 

“You're right,” Jeno says, already messily fixing the title. Now, it reads ‘THE BUCKET LIST’, and Renjun looks satisfied.

 

“So how are we going to start this? I've never done one of these,” Jeno admits.

 

“Well, uhm you could start with like, ten things first?” Renjun suggests.

 

“Yeah,” Jaemin agrees. “Just write the top ten things you've always wanted to do. Wild shit you haven't gotten a chance to do yet.”

 

“Wild shit…” Jeno mumbles. “I'm just going to write a the first few things that come to mind.”

 

He starts with numbering the page 1-12, spacing them out enough to give him extra room just in case.

 

Silently, Jeno fills in the first ten, leaning back when he's done so the other two boys can view the paper as well. “I left the last two open for you guys, for stuff you think I should add.”

 

Jaemin hums, examining the sheet.

 

  1. Go on a cheesy date
  2. Make out in a car
  3. Sunroof-car-movie-scene moment
  4. Go to an actual party
  5. Lose v-card
  6. Try a hardcore drug
  7. Have a food fight
  8. Get into a fist fight
  9. Adopt a cat
  10. Meet Jaden Smith
  11. .
  12. .



 

“What's Sunroof-car-movie-scene moment mean?” Jaemin asks, at the same time Renjun asks,

 

“What's a V-card?”

 

Both Jaemin and Jeno look over at Renjun, and Jaemin doesn't mean to laugh at the poor boy, but then Jeno is laughing and he can't help it. They both laugh, and Renjun looks less offended than he does confused.

 

“I think I missed the joke.”

 

This only makes Jeno laugh harder. Jaemin takes pity on him though, and wraps his arms around the smaller boy pulling him halfway into his lap. “There isn't a joke, you're just innocent.”

 

“No I'm not,” Renjun argues. He doesn't sound whiny like most would when saying that sentence, instead he sounds serious, as if he were stating a fact.

 

“If you weren't innocent then you would know that ‘V-card’ means virginity,” Jeno says in a ‘duh’ tone.

 

“Whatever,” Renjun huffs, attempting to wiggle out of Jaemin's hold. When Jaemin doesn't let him escape, he just relaxes in his arms, and Jaemin pretends not to notice the smaller boy's pink cheeks. “Don’t think I'm uneducated or anything, though. I've just never heard that term.”

 

And before Jeno can tease him any further, Renjun changes the subject. “I'm interested in Jaemin’s question, what is a Sunroof-car-movie-scene moment?”

 

“You know, like those scenes in teen movies where they're in a car and the sunroof is open and a character sticks they're upper body out of the car, arms spread wide open, head tilted back to let to wind hit them. And an epic song has to play in the background, obviously,” Jeno excitedly explains with a smile.

 

Renjun gives a small smile as well, “That sounds… nice, actually.” Renjun looks into Jeno’s eyes, possibly for the first time that night. The two stare at each other for a little too long, so Jaemin speaks up.

 

“Ok now how about those last two on the list, we can't leave em’ empty.” Jaemin reminds.

 

“Oh, right!” Jeno reaches for the sheet and pen, resting it on his thigh once he sits up. “Suggestions?”

 

Jaemin takes a moment to think, “You did say you wanted to steal, right? And since this is a bucket list, why not go a little extreme.”

 

Jaemin takes the pen and paper from Jeno, quickly jotting down his goal on number 11. He passes the paper and utensil to Renjun, then. “Your turn.”

 

Renjun nods, hesitantly writing down his goal on number 12. The pen hovers over his writing, and Jaemin can tell he's debating crossing it out and changing his suggestion. Before he can though, Jeno is snatching the paper from his hands.

 

“Okay let me read off the full thing.” Jeno dramatically clears his throat before reading off the list. “1. Go on a cheesy date, 2. Make out in a car, 3. Sunroof-car-movie-scene moment, 4. Go to and actual party, 5. Lose v-card, 6. Try a hardcore drug, 7. Have a food fight, 8. Get into a fist fight, 9. Adopt a cat, 10. Meet Jaden smith.” Jeno takes a breath before revealing the last two. “11. Rob a grocery store.”

 

Jeno fist bumps Jaemin, muttering ‘nice one’ under his breath before continuing. “Twelve…” Jeno laughs, unable to continue reading.

 

“What?” Renjun questions. “I feel like I keep missing the joke.”

 

“Aww, Renjun, you're so cute.” Jeno leans forward, pinching Renjun’s cheeks so hard they turn red. Jaemin let's his arm that was previously secured around Renjun fall, chuckling at the scene going on.

 

“What's it say?”

 

Instead of answering, Jeno hands Jaemin the sheet so he can see for himself.

 

Automatically, his eyes fly to number twelve.

 

‘12. Fall in love.’

 

Secretly, on the inside, Jaemin finds it the tiniest bit cute. Regardless, he still comments, “Ew, Renjun, this is a bucket list not one of your girly romance novels.”

 

“But Jeno wrote about making out in a car, _and_ losing his ‘v-card’!”

 

“Yeah, cause’ for one, it's _his_ bucket list. And two, _just_ kissing and fucking are different from ‘love’.”

 

Renjun disagrees, that much is obvious on his face. “But you do those things with people you love.”

 

“Not always,” Jeno comments.

 

“But- Well, you would kiss someone you like though, right?”

 

“You can,” Jaemin shrugs. “But you can also just kiss someone, even if you don't like them.”

 

“Have you ever done that?” Renjun questions, and if Jaemin were paying closer attention, maybe he would have noticed his heartbroken expression. Instead, all he sees is genuine curiosity coming from an inexperienced young adult.

 

“Yeah, plenty of times,” Jaemin replies, almost smugly. “What about you Jeno?”

 

Jeno sighs, “Only time I kissed someone was on TV for one of the shows I was featured in. But that's gonna change starting tomorrow, I'm wilding out, no lips shall go unkissed!”

 

“Holy shit you were on TV?”

 

And the conversation continues from there. Jaemin learns that Jeno was a child star, famous ever since he was a toddler after a few of his videos went viral. It was perfect since Jeno’s parents owned a children's talent agency, so things kind of fell in place for him. Jeno also really, really loves cats and kdramas, just a thing to note.

  
  


After a night full of laughter, comedic embarrassment, bittersweet storytelling, and properly cleaning Renjun’s wound, they pass out on the floor next to each other, completely forgetting that they all have their own rooms; with their own beds. Jaemin knew his back would hurt in the morning, yet he was content with laying here on the floor with his friends.

 

 _Friends_ , yeah, they were his friends. It felt _nice_ to have those again.

  
  
  


Morning comes way too quick. Correction: afternoon comes way too quick, it’s around 4pm when Jaemin finally wakes up. From the looks of it, he's the first one awake.

 

Jaemin wakes up with the sun in his eyes. After wincing as he adjusts to the sunlight, he sits up and takes in his surroundings. Here he is, on the nice expensive carpet of a hotel his new ‘pal’ paid for him to stay in, limbs weirdly entangled with the other. _Oh_ , and by the way, that ‘pal’ is Jeno, a guy who was completely fine with Jaemin (and Renjun) attempting to rob him.

 

It's funny, every single part of this story. Even the part where Jaemin actually befriends the crazy teen, is quite humorous.

 

Jaemin carefully removes his arm from under Renjun’s unconscious body. How it ended up there? The world may never know. Renjun's sleep isn't interrupted by the movement, thankfully, and Jaemin refrains from (creepily) staring at the sleeping boy.

 

Jaemin wonders what's going through Renjun's head. He had been shot at twice by some guy he was barely acquainted with in the midst of a spur of the moment robbery. Yet, here he was, willingly laughing along with the ‘robber’ and the ‘robee’. So, Jaemin thinks, Renjun must be running from something- or someone- really bad, because there's no other solid validation in Jaemin's book. He'd have to ask Renjun about it, but that’d have to wait for when Jeno wasn't around.

 

Jaemin wouldn't go as far as to say he trusted Renjun, he wouldn't even go as far as to say they were friends yet, but Renjun was different. Renjun was a normal (boring) introvert on the outside, he always wore blue jeans and a hoodie, spoke very little, stuttered and blushed when too much attention was on him, and panicked way more than necessary. It was cute, he was cute. And then you get to know him a bit and you find his anxiety, sadness, and bottled up trauma . But when you dig even _deeper_ , you see past all that, and find the real him buried under. Renjun is a nerdy sci-fi fan who has a collection of doctor who socks, reads romance novels religiously, always has paint on his hands that won't wash off, and giggles at dad jokes.

 

Jaemin only got a little peek at the real Renjun, and he looked forward to seeing more of it- more of _him._

 

After a long stretch, Jaemin walks over to the glass sliding doors he didn't even realize were near the kitchen. _Oh,_ a balcony. And fresh air does sound delightful as fuck right now, so obviously, Jaemin slides the door open, stepping out onto the balcony.

 

It goes smoothly up until he trips forward, his hands fly to the railing, saving himself from falling. Annoyed, he lowers his eyes to find the evil item that dared to throw him off balance.

 

There, on the planks of the balcony, is a black jansport. Jaemin remembers seeing Jeno carrying it and thinking about how strange it is that someone so rich would have such an inexpensive bag.

 

In his peripheral vision he can see that neither Jeno nor Renjun have moved. It's unlike him snoop in other people’s business, he usually didn't care enough to, but there's this voice in the back of his head that make his fingers inch towards the bag.

 

_“I've already got a few thousand in my bag along with my credit card.”_

 

With mild hesitation, Jaemin kneels down and unzips the bag, glancing up every now and then to assure himself he hasn't been caught.

 

Underneath a box of syringes (that Jaemin doesn't bother questioning), a journal, pencil case, and an outfit is a fat stack of cash, and like promised, also a credit card. After another glance up at the sleeping bodies -that still have yet to move-, Jaemin pulls out the thick wad of cash that is held together by a rubber band.

 

Jaemin slips the rubber band off of the stack, grateful that the weather isn't windy, and counts.

 

There is 100 dollar bills only, and Jaemin has to recount several times, forgetting which number he left off at for numerous attempts. One hundred leads to one thousand, and one thousand leads to two thousand, and two thousand eventually leads to eight thousand.

 

This stack alone had eight thousand. That was enough for Jaemin to pay off his debt, afford transportation back home, and maybe even buy a warm meal for him and his family.

Sure, he’d be stealing from a _friend_ , but it's not like they'd be stranded or anything. Jeno and Renjun were wealthy teenagers, they could handle themselves. Jaemin, on the other hand, needed this money. Jaemin didn't have rich parents to support him, hell, he didn't even actually have parents in the first place. And after being constantly shit on by the universe, he figures he deserves this money, way more than the fortunate bastards inside do.

 

With that thought, Jaemin rolls the bills up again, tightly securing the rubber band around it before shoving it in the pocket of his joggers.

 

_Well, farewell, ‘friends’._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank yall so much for waiting and I hope this was ok.


	7. 7 | Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4\. Go to an actual party (check)
> 
> 6\. Try a hardcore drug (check?)
> 
> 7\. Have a food fight (check)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey girlies here ya go, thank yall for the support. From now on the story will (I think) move at a faster pace.

 

Jaemin shuts the sliding door behind himself with one hand, the other is stuffed in his pocket, tightly gripping the roll of money. The back of his hand comes in contact with folded paper, reminding him if the letter that is _still_ in his pocket. He was only able to read the first two sentences, and by then he was already tearing up, so he saved it for a later time when he could openly ball his eyes out, because he sure as hell wasn't letting Jeno nor Renjun see him cry.

 

He walks with gentle, quiet footsteps, something he's grown quite accustomed to doing. As expected, the expensive floorboards don't creak under his weight, and Jaemin is able to easily sneak by Jeno and Renjun’s sleeping bodies. Yet, for some odd reason he pauses before he can pass them.

 

There they are, his ‘friends’, laying side by side. Jeno shuffles closer to Renjun, slinging his arm over the small teen. Jaemin finds the action assuring in a sense, and he feels the tiniest bit less guilty.

 

_See? They'll be fine without you Jaemin._

 

With a sigh, Jaemin keeps moving forward. He’d walk out that door, leave this hotel building, find a cab, go home and beg Rafael to accept his money even though he's late, and then he’d-

 

Jaemin takes another step forward, pausing after he hears a loud crackling noise. His eyebrows pull together, and he glances downwards to find the source. There, under his sock covered foot, lay a single sheet of paper.

 

With a huff, he picks up the blank sheet, flipping it over on the other side to check for writing.

 

‘ _THE_ BUCKET LIST’

 

  1. Go on a cheesy date
  2. Make out in a car
  3. Sunroof-car-movie-scene moment
  4. Go to an actual party
  5. Lose v-card
  6. Try a hardcore drug
  7. Have a food fight
  8. Get into a fist fight
  9. Adopt a cat
  10. Meet Jaden Smith
  11. Rob a grocery store
  12. Fall in love



 

Jaemin, no matter how much he will deny it, feels his heart clench. He didn't even know these people- these two boys, not really. Jaemin shouldn't feel attached, because he isn't, he really, _really_ isn't (he is). He's only known Renjun for a week and Jeno for a day, it's too soon to form a relationship of any kind with either of them (it isn't). Jaemin would be better off if he just left right now (he wouldn't).

 

Looking at the list, Jaemin realizes that even though he's done about half the things on the list, that he wouldn't mind doing them again, as long as it was with his friends.

 

Being there to watch Jeno cross all 12 of those goals off the list sounded... well it sounded _nice_. Jaemin wanted to be there to watch Jeno accomplish all of those things on that list, maybe even do them with him, alongside Renjun as well.

 

Well actually, not _all_ of those things, because obviously Jaemin wouldn't be there when Jeno lost his virginity, only if Jeno wanted him to be, which would be weird, unless Jaemin was taking Jeno’s virginity which is also weird and Jaemin's not saying he wouldn't because Jeno is obviously an attractive guy and he wouldn't mind but-

 

“Jaemin?” Jeno calls out, voice muffled by the carpet. “What're you doing silly, come lay down, s’early.”

 

Jeno sends Jaemin a small smile and Jaemin mirrors him, “I was just gonna go lay down on an actual bed, my backs fuckin killing me.” He stretches, groaning dramatically with his hands on his back.

 

“Smart idea, let's go.” Jeno stands up, way too hyper for someone who literally just woke up. Jeno is already on his way to the biggest room when he tells Jaemin, “Bring Renjun .”

 

“Are we sleeping in the same bed?”

 

A hum is all he gets as answer, and he takes it as a yes. After a long, drawn out sigh, Jaemin walks over to Renjun, kneeling down once he nears his body. At first, his plan was to shake the boy awake and say something along the lines of ‘get the fuck up we’re going to the bedroom’, but after a bit of thought, he changes his mind. If Renjun hadn't wakened during all the commotion, then he was probably a heavy sleeper.

 

So, _obviously_ Jaemin wasn't going to wake him. No, that’d be unnecessary, he was going to carry him to bed like any smart man would do. At least that's the excuse he gives himself . With a bit of struggle, Jaemin manages to gently maneuver Renjun into his arms.

 

\--_--

 

Renjun was not a light sleeper. He's been awake long before Jaemin and Jeno have. He tried to fall back asleep and failed, his mind running too much to allow him to slip into unconsciousness, for various reason.

 

For starters, this Is the first time in years where Renjun has woken up on a surface other than his lovely silver, silky sheets. And he wasn't alone, either. He was accompanied by two other strange individuals who he has yet to make fully examine, therefore they are both still under the ‘work in progress’ category in his book of observational conclusions.

 

So far, the data he has gathered suggest that Jaemin is a: flirtatious drug dealer with a habit of stealing, he was also a good kisser (not that Renjun had anyone else to compare him to).

 

Jeno was an entirely different story, because Renjun knows Jeno- _knew._ Renjun knew Jeno years ago, and people change. Jeno and Renjun used to be quite similar, in the way that public speaking make their nerves skyrocket and too much attention made them want to barf. But Jeno grew out of that, he had to if he wanted to be successful, and he is now. Jeno got everything he wanted, all the aspirations they discussed as children had come true for him, and that's why Renjun can't understand why Jeno would ever want to run away from that. It would become his mission to find out, though.

 

Renjun sat there with his eyes shut for almost an hour straight, he just couldn't get up. Actually, that's a lie, Renjun didn't _want_ to get up, he wanted to stay there, entangled with Jeno and Jaemin’s bodies. They were warm and made him feel safe, and Renjun, an anxious man of many phobias, dearly appreciated it.

 

Renjun was always good at observing, staying silent and disappearing into the background to watch events unfold in front of him.

 

He watches Jaemin trip over Jeno’s backpack, he watches him open it and pull out Jeno’s money, shoving it in his pocket. Renjun sees Jaemin attempt to sneak off, he wanted to be the one to stop him, tell him to stay. Ultimately, Jeno is the one that calls out for Jaemin, unaware that he stopped Jaemin from running away.

 

Renjun keeps his eyes shut and body unmoving as Jeno and Jaemin interact, he doesn't even move a muscle when Jaemin scoops him up in his arms. Renjun's heart skips and for a moment he goes stiff, this wasn't his first time having Jaemin's arms around him, and hopefully not the last, but that's not why he's mildly panicked. What's got his heart beating so violently is the fact that his feet are no longer touching the floor and if Jaemin were to trip, which is a likely possibility according to Renjun's knowledge, then both of them would go crashing down on the floor.

 

It only takes a few seconds until Renjun comes in contact with the ground again after Jaemin gently sets him down, except this ground is much softer. Now, he figures it’s safe to open his eyes. He does it slowly, letting out a little yawn to finish the act.

 

“Sorry, I tried not to wake you.”

 

Renjun shrugs, blinking his eyes open as Jaemin stares down at him.

 

“You look really soft right now,” Jaemin comments.

 

“Oh.” Renjun replies, because what other response could he possibly offer? Thankfully, Jeno butts in before Renjun has time to become flustered.

 

“Who would've guessed you guys were such saps.” Jeno pops up from behind the bed, and Renjun doesn't even want to know what he was doing back there.

 

“Shut up mr. ‘I wanna go on a cheesy date’,” Jaemin mocks.

 

“Whatever,” Jeno rolls his eyes. “We gotta go out and do something today. Something fun.”

 

“Yes,” Jaemin agrees. “Let's kick off this whole ‘adventure-y’ shit by crossing something off the list.”

  


Before the ‘adventure-y’ events could begin, they had to take care of their basic responsibilities such as hygiene, nutrition, and currently, filling up the gas tank of their Mercedes. Personally, Renjun hated the fact that out of all the cars in the world to permanently borrow, that had to choose a flashy, expensive one. It's not like anyone in this neighborhood good stared too hard though, they seemed satisfied enough with their range rovers.

 

Jaemin, on the other hand, was _‘stoked’_ to be in a Mercedes, as he had mentioned for the millionth time in the past twenty minutes.

 

“We get it, Jaemin, don't jizz on yourself just yet, we'll probably switch cars soon anyway.”

 

Jaemin grunts at Jeno’s words, disappointed. “Why?”

 

“Because we violated the laws of motor vehicle theft,” Renjun explains, backing away from the gas pump stations and parking in an empty lot near the store because his companions claimed to be too lazy to walk. “And the person who fell victim to our actions has most likely reported the vehicle missing, the smartest choice would be to change the plates, or change the car.”

 

Jaemin nods, understanding. “I vote we switch the plates.”

 

“That would not be the smartest option.”

 

“So?”

 

“Stop bickering,” Jeno reprimands. “Let's focus on how we're gonna have fun tonight!” Jeno hops out of the car, not bothering to actually open the door. Jaemin smiles, copying his actions.

 

Jeno walks into the the unnecessarily large gas station first, forgetting his backpack in excitement. Jaemin grabs the bag for him instead, and Renjun pretends he doesn’t see him shove the money he stole back where it belongs.

 

Once they're all inside Jaemin gasps at the large selection of candy. “I hope you didn't plan on us having a budget.”

 

“I sure didn't.”

 

Jaemin and Jeno high five, and Renjun feels left out in the slightest.

 

After Jaemin has busied himself in the skittles section, it’s pointless to even attempt holding a conversation with him. That leave Jeno and Renjun to converse. Renjun tries to break the ice with something mildly comedic and light to really get the chit-chat flowing, “This is my favorite aisle. All the products in here contain empty calories and are jam packed with sugar and fats that most of the population is introduced to at a young age, causing them to become addicted to sugar and increase their cravings which will increase their weight as well and they will inevitably become overweight. This is why the percentage of obesity in this country has skyrocketed in the past fifteen years.”

 

Jeno blinks at him, mouth ajar.

 

_Wow, Renjun, great way to make yourself seem even lamer._

 

Jeno still doesn't respond, and he probably doesn't know how to, so Renjun continues his ramble. “That's just in this country. We are known for our obese citizens. Uhm, I could give you the data from other countries if you'd like?”

 

“No!” Jeno rushes out. Renjun's face falls a little, and Jeno repeats himself with a calmer tone, “No, that's fine. Maybe later? Let's focus on finding a party to crash.”

 

“Party?!”

 

The voice comes from behind Renjun, and when he turns he's met with a relatively short, artificially blonde boy. “My brother is throwing one tonight! You guys should totally come.” The boy practically bounces with excitement as he speaks, arms making strange gesticulations.

 

“Chenle, stop inviting strangers to our house.”

 

Chenle dodges -what Renjun assumes is- his brother’s flick on the forehead. “Whatever Lucas, you're the one who said you're sick of the same white kids coming to your parties.”

 

Lucas’ hand engulfs Chenle’s shoulder almost entirely, and when they stand next to each other Chenle looks like a midget, or maybe Lucas looks like a giant, or both. Probably both.

 

“Yeah but I actually know those white kids-"

 

“But you don't _like_ any of them,” Chenle interjects.

 

“I don't like these people either.”

 

“Because you don't know them.”

 

“Exactly!”

 

Watching two strangers argue is very entertaining, Renjun decides. The duo catch Jaemin's attention as well, causing him to stop intensely staring at the collection of skittles to watch the argument. Jeno steps forward, interrupting the small feud.

 

“Well if you're inviting, then my friends and I are definitely willing to accept the offer.”

 

“You really wanna come?” The blonde asks.

 

“Fuck yeah!” Jaemin exclaims.

 

Chenle looks at his brother for approval first, to which he rolls his eyes, nodding, and then he says, “Give me your number, I'll send all the deets.”

 

Jeno fishes his phone out of his back pocket.

  
  


After that encounter, Jaemin suggested they get food in the time they had to spare before the party, because apparently he was ‘fucking starving’.

 

The three of them had collectively decided to eat at a pizza place. Well, actually, Jeno and Jaemin wanted pizza, and Renjun didn't want to oppose. So now, they were seated at a booth with an extra large supreme pizza on the table, Jaemin next to Renjun and Jeno facing them.

 

Jaemin, of course, is the first to dig in. He takes a ginormous bite, sauce and grease gathering around the corners of his mouth.

 

“Gross,” Renjun comments, grimacing as he reluctantly grabs a slice. Toppings were piled on the poor triangular edible, and it didn't look all that appetizing. Regardless, the grumbling in his stomach convinces him to take a bite.

 

“Delicious,” Jaemin corrects, voice muffled by pepperonis and olives.

 

Jeno picks an olive off of one of the five remaining slices, flicking it at Jaemin. “Don't talk with your mouth full.”

 

Jaemin raises his brow in challenge before opening his mouth wide and slowly closing it, exaggerating the sound of his food smashing together.

 

Jeno fake gags, holding a hand over his mouth. This time, he throws three olives at Jaemin, and Jaemin in turn, of course, throws six back. One of the olives goes straight into Jenos eye, he squints hard in reaction, covering his eye with his palm.

 

Jaemin pauses, face fallen, “Shit shit shit, you good?”

 

Jaemin winces, shaking his head, rocking back and forth as his hand presses harder over his socket.

 

Renjun isn't sure what do to, and by the looks of it, neither does Jaemin. Renjun tries to suggest a helpful tip he read once for situations like these, but his words come out jumbled and unsure. “Uh, are you- can you see? You uhm, uh-”

 

Suddenly, Jeno grabs two handfuls of toppings, sauce and cheese as well, and chucks them at both of his concerned companions, dying of laughter once the evil action is done. Renjun feels like an idiot for falling for the trick, Jeno had did this a lot when they were children, too, always playing small pranks and tricking Renjun. _‘I have to practice my acting’_ would be his excuse.

 

Mushrooms, sliced black olives, sticky cheese, and pineapple had hit Renjun's chin and neck all at once. If he hadn't flinched and closed his eyes, he would have seen the sauce smeared all over Jaemin's forehead as well.

 

Jaemin's reaction is much faster than The boy next to his is. He grabs an entire mushy slice, slapping it on Renjun's cheek. It slides down and off his face, leaving a trail of grease, just barely missing his jeans and landing on the booth beneath him. Renjun gasps in reaction, both of his acquaintances have betrayed him. Aforementioned acquaintances high five in triumph, cackling at Renjun's misery.

 

Renjun never was a fast reactor, mind always taking in every detail of a situation and taking it's time to fully evaluate a conclusion or answer. In most cases, he has to cut that time short, which is why he ends up stuttering or sounding unsure (he also refuses to believe he has a speech impediment), or, in moments like these, he doesn't have enough time to react properly. Good decisions are easy to make when you have enough time, that had always been Renjun's theory, but when you don't have enough time, you just kind of improvise.

 

Improvise, Renjun isn't sure if that's what he was doing when he grabbed all the bottled condiments on the side of their table that he could fit in his hands, stood up on the table, and used all his strength to squirt every fluid out at once, spinning in a circle to aim at both of his targets.

  
  


Needless to say, they get kicked out.

 

“I'm still hungry,” Jaemin complains, patting his belly while opening the passenger side door. Usually he sat in the back, but due to shotgun rules, Jaemin got front this time.

 

“We have snacks from the gas station,” Renjun reminds.

 

“Fuck yeah, pass em’ to me.”

 

Once all passengers are settled in and Renjun starts the ignition, conversion flows; starting with Jaemin complaining again.

 

“Now I'm gonna smell like pizza when we go to this party.”

 

“Aw what's the matter? Won't be able to pick up any chicks?” Jeno teases.

 

“Whatever,” Jaemin grumbles, “At least you'll get to cross two things of the fuckin list.”

 

“Omg,” Jeno says, drawing out every letter of the acronym. “You're right!”

 

“Why do you need that list anyway, I'm not complaining I'm just curious. I know you want to accomplish shit before you die but you made it seem like you're going to die tomorrow.”

 

“I could. Well, not tomorrow but sometime really soon. Doctors said I could probably make it to new years, and if I start getting better that I could survive much longer than that.,” Jeno pauses.  “But my condition is only getting worse so when I met you guys, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to live the rest of my life doing all the crazy shit I wasn't allowed to do before.”

 

“Bro, that's like… inspirational as fuck,” Jaemin says.

 

Renjun cringes inwardly at Jaemin's use of the word ‘bro’, but it's much better than hearing Jeno say ‘y'all’ all the time.

 

“So,” Jaemin continues. “You got like cancer or sum’?”

 

Renjun gulps, remaining silent as he drives. He really hopes Jeno isn't going to say what he thinks he's going to say.

 

“No, I have something else. It's not rare, just very uncommon in this area I guess.”

 

“Well what the fuck is it?”

 

“Karékladys, you've probably never heard of it,” Jeno says. “I found out I had it when I was younger, my body usually does a pretty good job at fighting it off, especially with the help of my meds, but once it's wormed its way passed my immune system, I'm done for; and it's currently in the process of doing that.”

 

Renjun feels like his heart falls all the way to his feet, and _fuck._ He thought the Lee's were lying, that they were full of bullshit when they tried to claim that Renjun's mother was the reason Jeno had fallen ill. Renjun and his father never caught Mrs. Huang's disease, they assumed it wasn't contagious. The assumption that the Lee's were only lying to have the media pity them for having a sick nine year old made the most sense. Not this, not the alternative that Renjun's mother actually had infected Jeno, who at the time, she was the nanny for.

 

The Lee's were the only people kind enough to employ Renjun's mother and pay her enough to feed her son. She worked full time for them for a year, and they even let Renjun and his father visit frequently. At this point, Renjun's small family of three was living in his father's pickup truck, relying on whatever food Renjun was able to bring home from school.

 

When Mrs. Huang’s condition worsened she had to quit, and her husband had to find a source of income that would pay him enough to seek medical attention, things got confusing for Renjun. The area they lived in was rough, not a lot of available jobs and even less alternative ways to earn money. It happened all at once, the sudden increase in his family's income. It seemed like overnight the Huangs could afford to eat out for every meal, move into a real apartment, and pay for the medical bills. There wasn't a cure for his mother's illness, but there was hospice, and that was as close as they were going to get.

 

Renjun didn't understand how his father had gotten so much money until he found a severed finger in the pocket of his father's discarded shirt. Things were never the same after that. Money was no longer a problem (a few years later they moved into a fucking mansion with servants and women who Mr. Huang claimed were his girlfriends), his father no longer cared, his mother died, and the Lee's blamed them for their ill child, meaning Renjun- or as the Lee's knew him, _Injun-_ lost contact with his only friend, Jeno.

 

“Hey, Renjun, you okay over there buddy?” Jaemin asks, stuffing more chips in his mouth immediately after.

 

“Yeah,” Renjun lies, “Just hungry.”

 

Jaemin offers the rest of his potato chips to Renjun, and who would Renjun be if he were to deny the saltiness and satisfying crunch of some lays?

  


Six bags of chips, four bags of skittles, thirty miles, and hours later, the trio find themselves parked in front of a huge home. It was ten times the size of Jaemin’s house, double the size of Jeno's, yet still smaller than Renjun's. Their car is parked across the street in someone else's driveway, seeing as literally every other parking spot is taken.

 

“Woah,” Jaemin breathes. “I've never been to a rich person's party.”

 

“I've never been to a party _ever_ ,” Jeno says, even though they already knew, it had been one of the first things on his bucket list afterall.

 

“Me either, there isn't exactly any party animals at my school,” Renjun mumbles, eyes wide at the scenery in front of him. It was only around 10 PM yet there were colored lights flashing through the windows, loud vibrations from the music playing, and possibly a hundred teenagers on the lawn alone.

 

“I thought you were homeschooled,” Jeno says.

 

“Exactly.”

 

Jeno hums in response, too focused on taking in the details of the massive party to verbalize his answer. Jaemin and Jeno seem to be in awe, but Renjun is already shaking. Call him a wimp, but loud noises, flashing lights, and countless drunk (caucasian) teens scare the absolute _shit_ out of him. He's never really had to be around all three at once, and of course his very first party included them all.

 

“It would be a smart decision to have someone stay in the car, to uh, watch over it incase of any emergencies, right?” Renjun prompts, desperately hoping they let him stay in the fancy car and curl into a ball on the leather seats to avoid the massive social event going on.

 

“Relax, Renjun,” Jaemin says, using his best soothing tone.

 

“Yeah,” Jeno agrees. “This opportunity fell into our lap, and if that's not a sign then I don't know what is. And it's not like we're gonna leave ya, we're pals, and pals wouldn't do that. We'll stick together like Elmer's glue sticks to kindergartener’s hands.”

 

Renjun looks over at the extremely occupied house again.

 

 _At least I have my friends with me,_ Renjun thinks, _my only friends, and there's no way they'd ditch me._

  


Long story short, Renjun was lied to. Twenty minutes into the party- twenty minutes of Renjun's anxiety skyrocketing, Jeno's eyes lighting up at everything he sees, and Jaemin taking every shot given to him- and Renjun is left alone.

 

Ten minutes ago Jaemin had left Renjun and Jeno alone in the corner of what Renjun assumes is a really big living room. Jaemin was supposed to be back already with the shots that he convinced Renjun to drink, yet he wasn't. Jeno made conversation with some blonde dude named Kyle in a pink polo shirt, and after Kyle mentioned that the underaged teens upstairs were in possession of illegal substances (or as Kyle phrased it, “Some rad crazy shit”), Jeno immediately asked to participate. He offered to bring Renjun with, even attempted to tug him along, but Renjun had repeatedly shaken his head no and wiggled free from Jeno's grip.

 

So now here he was, all alone in the corner of a massive party, his _first_ ever big social event, sweating his balls off. Fun, _super_ fun, right?

 

Just when he thought things couldn't get any worse, and when vomit starts to up his throat, a mop of blonde hair approaches him. At first, Renjun can't recognize him with all the flashing lights surrounding him, and he can't hear the boy speak either over the loud music.

 

The short boy grabs Renjun by the fabric of his hoodie and pulls him down to whisper in his ear, “I'm glad you made it, I'm Chenle.”

 

-_-

 

Jaemin was having a great time. He liked to believe parties had always been his forté. He always reached his goal before the end of the night, meaning he always got laid.

 

This time he didn't even have to sweet talk anyone, no flirty words or suggestive touches, it wasn't neccessary. By the time he had stumbled to the kitchen, where more drinks were being served, a girl was already clinging to him. She was just as, if not more, intoxicated as Jaemin. She kept it simple, tugging his sleeve to lead him to an empty bedroom, announcing that she ‘wanted to fuck’. Jaemin decided he liked her, he told her as much, and she responded by taking her top off, and that's when he decided he liked her a _lot._

 

-_-

 

Jeno is surrounded by three things at the time moment: fake tanned females, loud trashy music, and cocaine.

 

He was fine with it at first, it was entertaining to watch said tan girls snort the white substance up their nostrils, but then one approached him, gripping his silk shirt with her long nails and pulling him forward.

 

“C'mon try some,” she slurs, waving a rolled up hundred dollar bill in his face.

 

“No thank you,” Jeno declines. He's currently in a dilemma. Technically, he had asked for this, Jeno wanted to try a hardcore drug, and cocaine _is_ a hardcore drug, so really, there's no reason for him to be complaining.

 

This is exactly what he wanted.

 

Except, it wasn't, not at all. Jeno didn't want to do this, not alone at least. He wanted to experience things, be wild, but it was pointless if he was going to be the only one to witness it, if he was going to die soon, who would be there to remember the crazy events anyway? And even though there was people, living beings, surrounding him, they would forget about him in a second, not even bat an eye at the mention of his death. He wanted someone here with him, a friend.

 

The girl is pushed aside, instead replaced by a new girl, this one with long black hair and pale skin. “Ohmygod are you that kid from the juice commercial?”

 

Jeno nods, letting out a chuckle. Out of all the things he could be recognized for, his juice commercial is definitely the most surprising.

 

“Can we get a photo together? My friends are gonna freak.”

 

Jeno, being the self proclaimed people person he is, obviously agrees. She pulls her phone out, scooting close to where he is seated. Jeno keeps his ‘picture taking’ smile on while she adjusts the position of the phone, trying to get a flattering angle.

 

“Okay, on the count of three.”

 

“One,”

 

Loud, heavy and rushed footsteps approach, Jeno can barely hear them over the music.

 

“Two,”

 

The music stops playing abruptly making almost everyone in the room pause, everyone except the girl next to Jeno, she seems to be too focused on this photo.

 

“Thr-”

 

The door swings open, nearly falling off it's hinges. There's a guy standing in the doorway, looking panicked. He cups his hands together, leaving a slit in the middle for his mouth to fit, “Cops!”

 

That one word seems to trigger everyone in the room, and suddenly clumps of teens are pushing past each other to escape. Jeno, too, rushes out of his seat, his body getting crammed in the doorway.

 

Once he manages to wriggle free and run down the stairs without falling, unlike others, he looks around. The cops are the last thing on his mind, even if he were to escape, he'd have nowhere to go and no one to be with. So instead of thinking ‘run, run, run!’ like everyone else, he's thinking ‘Jaemin, Renjun, friends!’.

 

Jeno's eyes search through the fleeting young adults, never catching sight of anyone even somewhat familiar. He tries to find Jaemin's signature white supreme hoodie, or Renjun's long and messy brown hair. After a minute straight of his shoulders being roughly bumped and his body being practically thrown around due to the carelessness of his panicked peers, he still has no idea where his friends are, and he’s a little discombobulated.

 

Jeno pushes through the crowd as best as he can, pushing against the waves of their bodies to search the other rooms. He can see the flashing red and blue lights hitting the pale skin of those surrounding him, but he isn't that worried about it just yet.

 

After reaching what he recognizes as the place where Renjun, Jaemin, and himself had departed at, he takes another look around, eyes darting back and forth across the room. This time is much easier because there is only one person in the entire room besides himself that isn't moving; It's Renjun, still in the same corner Jeno had left him in.

 

Even though Renjun has yet to run off like the others, he looks no less panicked, in fact it is very likely he is the _most_ panicked. Jeno suddenly feels guilty for leaving the poor boy alone. He approaches him as quick as he can, planting both of his palms on the opposite walls near him. Not to trap him, rather to keep everyone else away from him. Jeno still gives him as much space as possible though.

 

Renjun's eyes are shut tightly, his arms wrapped around himself as he whispers words that are probably not meant for others to hear.

 

“Renjun, It's me, Jeno,” Jeno announces. Renjun just briefly glances at Jeno before shutting his lids once again. “Renjun, it's okay.” This doesn't seem to be enough for the trembling boy, seeing as he only hugs himself tighter.

 

Jeno has witnessed things like this before from an old friend, he isn't sure if they're panic attacks or not, he never bothered to ask, but he knows how to handle it nonetheless. Talking always seemed to work, reassurance always seemed necessary. Not things like ‘it's okay’ or ‘don't worry’ because things like that never worked, rather a more personal approach seemed to always do the trick.

 

When his friend- former friend, Injun, would get like this, Jeno would always tell him a story, something that would reveal a bit of his vulnerability, maybe just a truth of sorts. It always seemed to calm Injun knowing that he wasn't abnormal for reacting so extremely to situations that others wouldn't, Injun liked to be reminded that he wasn't weak or sensitive, that he was just simply human.

 

“Can I confess something to you, Renjun?”

 

Renjun spares him a nod, a sharp one that had to have made him dizzy in the slightest.

 

“I'm not usually this energetic and daring. Most of my life was spent following orders from my parents, directors, and the media. I was always a shy, polite, and obedient child.”

 

Renjun hums and nods, a sign that he's listening, but his shaking still doesn't let up.

 

“I didn't want to be stuck in a life like that for however long the rest of my life would last. When you and Jaemin appeared it seemed like a sign, and I've always been a strong believer of signs. I haven't had a single regret about leaving home, even if it was with two- no offense- sketchy people. And do you know why I don't regret it, Renjun?”

 

Jeno could have continued his ramble, but he wanted to double check that Renjun was still listening, still coherent.

 

Renjun shakes his head, this time actually speaking as well, albeit quietly. “No.”

 

“Because those two sketchy guys that broke into my house actually turned out to have, from what I can tell, pretty darn sweet personalities, and I can't wait to spend more time with em’.”

 

Renjun finally makes full eye contact with Jeno, looking almost apologetic, but Jeno doesn't have time to question why. He has stopped shaking at this point, his hands falling to his sides.

 

“I really don't feel like getting arrested, though. So what d'ya say we get Jaemin and get the hell out of here?”

 

When they find Jaemin drunkenly attempting to button his pants alone inside a spare room, they don't ask any questions.

 

Renjun deemed Jaemin too unstable to walk by himself, meaning the sober ones, Jeno and Renjun, are forced to keep Jaemin upright. Renjun had voiced his concern involving the police, but once they're outside all worries vanish.

 

There isn't enough cops to catch everyone, so the four officers that are there are too occupied to pay any attention to the trio.

 

They successfully get to their vehicle, laying Jaemin down in the back seat. Renjun starts up the ignition, “What is the desired destination?”

 

Jeno thinks for a moment, “Let's just keep driving north until we find a hotel or something, in the morning we'll discuss it with Jaemin.”

 

Renjun nods, backing out of the driveway.

 

Once they're on the road, Jeno asks, “Why do you speak like that?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don't know, half the time you mumble and stutter your way through sentences and the other half you speak to me like you're telling me a fact.”

 

“I'm not sure what you mean.”

 

“I'm not sure either.”

 

After that they sit in mildly awkward silence for at least ten minutes before Renjun speaks again. “You accomplished two things on your bucket list, three if you fulfilled number seven as well.”

 

Jeno knows Renjun is indirectly asking if Jeno did drugs or not. His list did say he wanted to try a hardcore drug, and technically he did try to try a hardcore drug, so it still kind of counted. (He was totally crossing it off).

 

“Ouu you're right!” Jeno claps his hands together, squealing. “But where is the list, did we leave it at the hotel?” Jeno momentarily deflates.

 

“Mmm, help,” Jaemin groans from the back seat.

 

When Jeno looks back he sees Jaemin sprawled out on the leather seats, one leg out the window and the other touching the floor. “Help with what?”

 

“M'hard.”

 

Renjun chokes, almost swerving out of the lane.

 

“We can't do any-anything about that, my apologies,” Renjun says, and Jeno refrains from making fun of his choice of words.

 

 _That could just be his vocabulary_ , Jeno thinks, _or maybe he isn't comfortable enough to speak casually. He hasn't even cursed yet, like what kind of teen just doesn't curse?_

 

“Mmmm no, you could _definitely_ help me if you wanted, Junnie.”

 

Renjun chokes again.

 

“Hey, Jaemin, do you know where the list is?” Jeno asks, changing the subject.

 

“Yessssssss,” Jaemin draws out. “I've gots it.”

 

“Can I have it?”

 

“You can come get it,” Jaemin responds, spreading his legs further and patting the pockets of his joggers suggestively.

 

Jeno rolls his eyes, practically crawling over to the back seat. He pats both pockets and only one of them seem to contain paper, so he pulls it out from that one. Once Jeno is settled back in his seat, he unfolds the sheet.

 

Another crumpled paper falls out from inside it, and Jeno immediately bends down to retrieve it from where it fell beside his feet.

 

_‘Jathiens Correctional Facility’_

 

Jeno glances back, ready to tell Jaemin he grabbed to wrong paper, but Jaemin is already dead asleep, mouth open in a way that makes Jeno assume he's a drooler.

 

Hesitantly, Jeno keeps reading.

 

 _Hey son, sorry I'm late. I would have written sooner but you know how strict prison can be. Honestly, I don't even know if you receive these letters, or if you do and just decide to throw them out. I wouldn't blame you even if you burned every single letter I've sent you, I know I'm not exactly dad of the year. I'm going to keep writing anyways though, because you're my son and I want to see you again. I really fucking miss you Nana. I saw this thing the other day when I was finally allowed to go outside again. There were violet chrysanthemums, your mother loved those, she always sent me to the store to buy you some when you were sick. She wanted to name your little sister violet, I couldn't think of a more perfect name. I know it's my fault that you never got to meet your little sister, and I know what I did to your mother was awful and I shouldn't ask for forgiveness so I won't, but I know your eighteenth birthday is coming up soon. It would really mean the world if you would come see me. Once you're eighteen the stupid system can't keep you away from me. I remember your chubby little cheeks and charming smile, I just knew you'd be a ladies man someday. I cant wait to see how you've grown. I only have another minute or so to write, so I'll end it here._ _I won't ask for forgiveness, just please come see me, or respond. Anything, just let me know you’re fucking alive or something. I love you Jaemin, I really do._

_And please write me back, it gets lonely in here._

_-Dad_

 

 Jeno looks back at Jaemin once more, he hasn't moved his position at all, yet Jeno still views him differently. Jeno let's out a shaky exhale, he really doesn't know much about these people, didn't even know anything about Jaemin's dad, especially not the fact that he was in prison. Jeno knew that the way a person's parents acted had nothing to do with them, and he should never judge someone on that alone. Knowing that Jaemin's dad had done something bad enough to land him in prison for years did not bother him at all, but the fact that he was unbothered, bothered him quite a lot.

Jeno realized that no matter what Renjun or Jeno's past was didn't matter, at least not I'm a negative way, he was willing to accept whatever baggage they had to offer; because if Jeno was going to die, he definitely wasn't going to die alone or surrounded by people who had never really cared for him in the first place. Jeno was already beginning to trust these two at an alarming rate, but when you're someone with little time left, every moment counts. 

In that moment, Jeno decided he was going to spend every last second with these two, even let them witness him take his last breaths. 

 

If only he would have realized the irony then.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might change the description but I'm not sure. How does
> 
> "Jeno wants to live, Renjun wants to love, and Jaemin just wants to get his dick wet.
> 
> In which three teens who desperately want to escape their drastically different lives meet, and shit escalates from there.'
> 
> Sound?
> 
> Update: I'm keeping the description the same, but I'm jsut keeping this here bc saying soemone wants to get their dick wet is really funny to me sry I'm 5


	8. 8 | Donghyuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been busy so I havent finished the real chapter so here's another filler lol sorry

 

The sun glares in Donghyuck's eyes as soon as he awakens. He winces, sitting up hurriedly. Immediately, he realizes he isn't in his own room, the one he shares with Mark. No, this room isn't familiar. 

 

Last night's events come rushing back to him. He spent the night with some guy he met at a club he snuck into. They spent the night talking and cuddling, so Donghyuck knows they didn't have sex, but just incase, he lifts the blanket to make sure his pants are on. They are, and he lets out a breath. Good, he's in the clear- almost, he just has to sneak out.

 

As soon as he manages to slip out of the now vacant room the smell of fresh pancakes fills his nostrils. Donghyuck's stomach grumbles and he is reminded that he hasn't eaten in over twenty four hours, Mark had kicked him out before he was able to take even a bite of breakfast. The couple had a stupid arguement because Donghyuck accused Mark for Renjun's absence, the scene replays in Donghyuck's head.

  
  


_ ‘Why do you always do this? Can't I just have someone to talk to?’ _

 

_ ‘You have me.’ _

 

_ ‘I know that, Mark, but I just need someone els-’ _

 

_ ‘Don't you dare finish that sentence. I have given you everything. Look around, everything you have is because of me. If you can't appreciate all that I've done for you then get out.’ _

 

_ ‘Mark stop just listen-’ _

 

_ ‘No! No, get out. Out I said! Out, you ungrateful little-’ _

  
  


Donghyuck stops himself there, he didn't need to relive the rest of that memory. Besides, he knows Mark didn't mean everything he said, every insult and name he had called Donghyuck after that. In fact, now that Hyuck thinks about it, maybe he did deserve it a little. Mark was right, Hyuck was taking for granted everything Mark provided for him. Mark got him anything he needed, including the shoes he was trying to quietly slip on. 

 

Hyuck felt a wave of guilt run through him, Mark took such good care of him yet Donghyuck still chose to disobey. He felt like shit for being such a horrible boyfriend, obviously Mark was stressed and Donghyuck really shouldn't have angered him in that state, or at all, ever. Hyuck would sneak out of this stranger's apartment and run home to apologize to his beloved Mark, beg for another chance and then somehow make it up to Mark. 

 

Yes, that's what he'd do.

 

“You leaving already?”

 

“Oh, hey Johnny.” Donghyuck secures the knot of his shoelace before straightening his posture. “Thank you for me stay, I appreciate it but I really have to go, my boyfriend must be worried sick.”

 

Johnny raises his brow at the boy in front of him, looking oddly intimidating besides the fact that he's slipping off his apron. “The same boyfriend that threw you out, threatening to beat you if you ever came back? That boyfriend?”

 

Donghyuck gasps, “Don't you dare talk about Mark like that! You don't know him. He's just going through a rough time right now, okay, so don't assume anything.”

 

Johnny sighs. “I'm not gonna sit here and argue with you about your, in my opinion, shitty boyfriend, just come eat breakfast and I'll let you be. I know you're hungry, Hyuck.”

 

Donghyuck silently debates with himself. It is still early, Mark never wakes up early and Donghyuck sure as hell didn't want to wake him. Plus, the burning in his stomach begged for him to eat. 

 

Reluctantly, he agrees.

 

Johnny seats him at his nice wooden dining table, facing the TV placed in the open living room. The whole apartment seemed quite cozy, the pancake smell only adding to the vibe. 

 

The pancakes taste like a fluffy piece of heaven, and Donghyuck almost forgets Johnny is there after his third bite. 

 

“So,” Johnny starts. “I know you have to get back to your boyfriend, but I just want you to know that if you ever need help or a place to stay I'm just a call away, okay? And no matter what you won't owe me anything.”

 

Donghyuck freezes mid-bite. Was Johnny seriously that generous? Despite his sincere tone Hyuck can still hear Mark's voice in the back of his head going,  _ ‘Don't trust him you idiot, it's a trap.’ _

 

Still, Donghyuck nods. 

 

“I'm serious,” Johnny adds, but he stops there. They sit in silence after that, the only noises filling the room are the sounds of forks briefly scraping against their plates as they eat and the low buzz of the tv.

 

Minutes later, as Donghyuck is taking his last bite, Johnny mumbles, “That's sad.”

 

“What is?”

 

Johnny's answer comes in the form of a quick head nod towards the screen of the television. 

 

The news channel is on, and a middle aged white woman is seated in the middle of the frame.

 

_ ‘a Korean Internet star went missing just two nights ago, last seen at his home in Oakdale on Friday afternoon. It is suspected that he was kidnapped, police are investigating right now and questioning witnesses. If you are to spot him please contact authorities immediately.  _

 

_ He is pale skinned, 175cm tall, around 140 pounds, has black hair, and is currently seventeen years old.  _

 

_ I repeat, Korean Internet star Lee Jeno has gone missing. If you are to see him please contact authorities immediately.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the sudden hits and kudos. Comments really motivate me to keep writing even when I feel like the story sucks and no one reads it.


	9. 9| Renjun, Jaemin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun caught feelings fast
> 
> 1\. Go on a cheesy date (check)  
> 2\. Make out in a car (check)  
> 9\. Adopt a cat (check)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I’m so late and this chapter sucks but I hope it’s alright. Also I messed up and according to the story Renjun doesn’t have shoes on but he does i jsut goofed.

“Jeno, are you okay?” Renjun asks, approaching Jeno’s figure where he sits on the sofa. Jeno has been staring at his reflection on the black TV screen for the past ten minutes, silent and unmoving.

 

They stayed the night at a hotel about two hours away from the party, it was nice, but not nearly as luxurious as the last one, not that Renjun is complaining.

 

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I just can't stop thinking about that letter, y'know?”

 

Renjun nods, he indeed does know. Jeno showed him it once they had pulled up to the hotel they are at currently. “What about it has you so troubled?”

 

Jeno clicks his tongue, “I don't know if I feel bad for invading his privacy or if I feel bad for what I found.”

 

“Well, actually,  _ you  _ did not invade his privacy,  _ he  _ just failed to protect his privacy. It's not your fault he drunkenly handed you the envelope,” Renjun defends, plopping himself on the other side of the patterned couch.

 

“I guess.” Jeno lets out another long sigh.

 

“If you do pity him or something of the sort, then perhaps you could confront him? Comfort him or something?” Renjun suggests. “Or would that be too intense, if so, simply slip the note back into his pocket. He won't notice.” 

 

“What makes you so sure?”

 

_ You didn't notice when he stole your money and then put it back,  _ Renjun wants to say, but he doesn't, he doesn't want to ruin whatever relationship the three of them are building. “People are oblivious,” He says instead.

 

“True.”

 

The discussion ends at that, and Renjun assumes Jeno is reviewing his options in his head.

  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin wakes up about an hour later, coming out of the only bedroom shirtless, scratching his stomach and yawning. “Uhg, why are you guys up so early?” He grumbles.

 

“It is currently 1 PM, to most standards that is not considered early,” Renjun informs.

 

Jaemin blinks at him, “Whatever, kid.”

 

“I'm actually older than you.”

 

Jaemin ignores him, plopping himself in the middle of Renjun and Jeno on the couch. There is a recliner in the room as well, but apparently Jaemin doesn’t care, even though the two seater was made for two- not three, which is exactly why it's called a  _ two  _ seater.

 

“My head hurts,” Jaemin complains, rubbing his temple with one hand and using the other to pull Renjun’s body closer. “What even happened last night?”

 

“The cops arrived, when we found you, you were heavily intoxicated and also trying to button up your… uh, joggers, I believe they're called? Jeno and I carried you to the car,” Renjun answers, leaving out the ‘panic attack’ part of the night.

 

Jaemin makes a face, “I left you guys early on, right?” 

 

Jeno nods.

 

“Sorry ‘bout that.”

 

“It's alright,” Renjun assures. “Jeno abandoned me as well not long after you did.”

 

It goes silent after that, no background noise or anything of the sort is there to save them, forcing the three of them to endure the awkwardness. Sometimes, Renjun wishes he could just shut up.

 

“I'm pretty sure you banged some chick, though,” Jeno adds.

 

Jaemin chuckles, letting out a quick triumphant ‘yes!’ before giving Jeno a high five.

 

Renjun frowns, it's not that he was jealous or anything, he never  _ really  _ liked Jaemin, it just sucks to know that their kiss really meant absolutely nothing. Those kinds of interactions came easy for Jaemin, he could kiss or perhaps have sexual intercourse with anyone he wanted and forget about it the next day, just like that. Renjun had shared his very first kiss with someone who wouldn’t even think of the kiss as anything close to significant.  

 

What's even worse, is watching Jeno congratulate Jaemin for such things. The Jeno that Renjun knows would never accept ‘fuckboy’ behavior from anyone.

 

_ Knew,  _ Renjun corrects himself,  _ you knew Jeno. _

  
  
  
  
  


Renjun has always been great at keeping secrets. Well, actually, that's false. Renjun is great at staying silent, observing things and keeping them to himself, simply because there wasn't really anyone to tell in the first place. And he supposes, that is different from secrets.

 

Secret, according to Google's dictionary is defined as: not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others. 

 

So according to Google, Renjun definitely has a secret, and it is absolutely eating away at him. 

 

When he entered Jeno's household alone, two (seemingly long) nights ago, he had no intention of leaving the premises with two other beings, nor did he intend to befriend those two beings. Jeno wasn't a new friend to Renjun, but to Jeno, Renjun was, and that fact perplexed Renjun to great amounts. 

 

Renjun had done a good job so far at pretending that he had never met Jeno, never interacted with him, never bonded with him. Renjun forced the memories of their times together into the back of his brain under a file titled ‘unknown’, and when he looked at Jeno he didn't see that bright little child he used to be, instead he saw him as a stranger who he has yet to gather much data on. If Jeno couldn't even recognize Renjun, then Renjun was going to pretend he didn't recognize the other boy either.

 

That had worked, but only for a few days. All of Renjun's effort put towards faking oblivion had gone to waste once his brain and started to connect the current outgoing and perky Jeno who sought out to accomplish his odd goals, with the past shy and kind Jeno who had worried he wouldn't do well on camera now that he was  _ ‘Nine years old and practically grown up’.  _ And now Renjun just couldn't unsee it. 

 

Everytime Jeno flashed his big and painfully gorgeous smile Renjun can't help but to remember all the times he's seen that same smile before, and the familiar ache sets in his chest all over again.

 

Renjun briefly wonders if this counts as a relapse, but that would imply that Jeno was or is his addiction, which he totally is not. It certainly feels like a relapse, though, because Renjun feels as though regardless of the years they've spent apart, and how much they've both grown (mainly just Jeno ), the feelings remain there. But this time Renjun knows what it means when it feels like his heart is being squeezed tightly, or when the pit of his stomach feels like a colony of bats have attacked it; it means Renjun has a miniature  _ c _ -word on Jeno. You know, the word that is written in large white letters, outlined in green, and placed on a bright orange soda can. 

 

Okay, yeah, a  _ crush,  _ Renjun had a bit of a crush.

  
  
  
  


It's a strange transition. Before their ‘adventure’ had even begun, Renjun convinced himself to believe he hated Jeno, he sought extreme vengeance upon him, and even planned to murder him. And then he ran away with the boy without much hesitation, seeing him as a stranger rather than  _ his  _ Jeno, even lying about his identity (but for the record, Renjun never told Jeno anything other than his Korean name, his mother told him not to). Now, Renjun struggles to even interact with the boy without his words getting jumbled up even more than usual.

 

_ This is nothing new _ , Renjun tells himself,  _ You've dealt with small crushes before, even if they were all only on Jeno and fictional characters. This is nothing new. _

 

Except this is something completely new, because how Jeno and Renjun aren't eight years old and sitting on the sidewalk confessing their feelings with chalk on their face. It's a whole lot more complicated when they're eighteen (or in Jeno's case, almost eighteen) and Jeno doesn’t even know who Renjun is anymore.

 

In a way though, this could be a good thing. If Jeno doesn’t know who Renjun really is, then Renjun has a chance to make a good impression. There's no way he was gonna let Jeno see him as some stuttering lame dork, he would have to try harder if he was going to succeed this time.

 

There still remains one problem; Renjun had no idea how to change. He'd been this way his whole life, no matter what his surrounding environment was like. How does one suddenly become more exciting, relatable, and comedic? 

 

“Aye Renjun how you spell Mississippi? I think it's the missing word in this cross puzzle,” Jaemin says, voice raised so he can be heard from where he's hunched over a newspaper in the kitchen.

 

And then it hits Renjun.  _ Jaemin is the answer. _

 

“Where did you even get a crossword puzzle?” Jeno asks, shifting on the couch so he can see Jaemin.

 

“The front desk.” 

 

Renjun jumps up from the couch, causing Jeno's legs to slip off his lap, and he strides over to Jaemin. He likes to think of himself as someone who uses his resources as best he can. With a low, steady tone, he says, “I'll help you if you can help me.”

 

Jaemin raises a brow at him, throwing a quick glance at Jeno to check if he's watching this interaction, he isn't. “Depends, what do you need from me, baby?”

 

Renjun tries his hardest to provide no reaction to the name, but his cheeks redden nonetheless. “We can discuss it later,” He rushes out.

 

Jaemin grins, “Sounds secretive, how exciting. I look forward to it, sexy.” Jaemin finishes with a gentle, suggestive pat to Renjun's behind.

 

Renjun makes a mixture of a disapproving and disgusted face, snatching the newspaper from Jaemin's hands. “Mississippi has too many letters for this space.”

 

“Uhg.”

  
  
  
  
  


As soon as Jeno leaves the hotel room to ask the front desk if they sell undergarments, Renjun is being cornered by Jaemin. 

 

“So what kind of help did you need?”

 

Renjun’s eyes go wide as Jaemin leans in closer, his minty breath invading Renjun’s nostrils. He quickly realized that Jaemin, being the horny teenager he is, misread the situation. So, quickly, he shouts, “I think I like Jeno again!”

 

Jaemin backs up, brows furrowed. “Again?”

 

Renjun ignores the question, because avoiding it also means avoiding lying, and that seems to be the best choice for the smaller teen. With a calmer voice, Renjun continues, “I just want to know how I am supposed to approach him whilst avoiding awkwardness and exposing how incredibly lame I am.”

 

“You like Jeno?”

 

Renjun nods. 

 

“And you want to ask him out without looking like a fucking loser, right?”

 

Renjun nods again. 

 

“And… you want  _ me  _ to help  _ you  _ get  _ him _ ?”

 

“Due to limited options, yes, I would very much like you to help me.”

 

Jaemin huffs out a laugh, shaking his head and whispering to himselfbefore answering. “All I can really do is show you how to do it, like visual learning or whatever that shits called.”

 

“How do you plan on doing that?” Renjun asks, but Jaemin has already made his way into another room and Jeno is walking through the front door. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“So what are we doing today y'all?” Jeno asks, lifting himself on the countertop of the kitchen, feet swinging. “We crossed so many things off the list yesterday we're already on a roll. But I think just doing one thing today will be fine because at this rate we'll be done by next week.”

 

“Okay,” Jaemin nods. “Lemme see the list so we can pick some shit to do.”

 

Jeno hums, fishing the paper from his back pocket. As Jeno hands Jaemin the sheet, another thing falls to the ground behind him, neither of the boys notice, but Renjun sure as hell does. 

 

Renjun recognizes it as the letter that had caused Jeno so much worry, meaning Jeno had yet to decide what to do with it, and Jaemin had yet to notice it's absence. There's no way this could end well. 

 

Renjun's eyes flick between the two boys, hoping Jeno notices he dropped it and eliminates the problem somehow. This, no matter how many times Renjun looks at Jeno, does not happen, and Renjun is left to put his problem solving skills to use.

 

He could a) panic and do absolutely nothing to help like he's doing currently, or b) do something,  _ anything.  _

 

Quickly, he thinks of the best lie he can. 

 

“Jaemin, I t-think you dropped this earlier,  or-or something.” Renjun inwardly winces, cursing his stupid inability to lie.

 

“Dropped wha-” Jaemin freezes for a spill second, staring at the opened envelope. “Oh,” he says, bending down to pick it up and shove it back in his pocket. That's the end of that, and that went much smoother than Renjun thought it would. 

 

Jeno throws him a quick look, mouthing ‘thank you’ before continuing his conversation. Renjun really hopes that Jeno is genuinely appreciative, because even though lying comes easy to others, natural even, it sure as hell took a lot out of Renjun.

 

The two pay him no mind, excluding him from their conversation. 

 

“Okay so, so far we have left: Go on a cheesy date, Make out in a car, Sunroof-car-movie-scene moment, love virginity, Get into a fist fight, Adopt a cat, Meet Jaden Smith, Rob a grocery store,” Jeno pauses, giggling to himself before reading the last one. “Fall in love.”

 

“Well which one you tryna’ do today?” Jaemin questions, sliding closer to Jeno. “Bet I could make you fall in love real quick.”

 

Jeno rolls his eyes, “Oh what _ ever _ , you’d have to take me on a few dates first.” The light tone Jeno uses makes it obvious that he is joking, but Jaemin seems to take it seriously. 

 

“Okay,” Jaemin says. 

 

“Okay?” 

 

“Yeah, let’s go on a real date.”

 

“I- Really?”

 

“Hell yeah. The two of us, wherever you wanna go.

Renjun needed some extra rest anyways.”

 

Jeno quickly glances at Renjun, who is watching them with his mouth hung open. “Just let me shower, ‘kay?”

 

Jaemin grins, “it’s a date.”

 

_ That  _ is not exactly what Renjun thought Jaemin meant by ‘visual learning’. He’s frozen in place, overwhelming confusion taking over. There’s so many questions and objections on the tip of his tongue but he’s stuck. 

 

Jeno walks off, muttering about how he’s going to find new clothes. 

 

Jaemin only spares Renjun a glance, even a small smirk, before following Jeno. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


As the small teen inspects himself in the mirror, he notices a lot of things. He's never viewed himself in comparison to another, and now that he is, his eyes have opened quite a bit. 

 

Renjun is short, he knew that already, he just didn't realize he was  _ that  _ short. Jaemin was only a few inches taller, but it suited Jaemin so well, complimenting his lean body. Renjun on the other hand was all skin and bones, his red zip-up hoodie swallowing his upper body. His legs, too, were like sticks. Renjun inhales deeply, just to dramatically exhale. He watches as his collar bones stick out and his neck forms a really strange ‘u’.  _ Gross _ .

 

Moving his eyes upwards, his dark brown hair was a complete mess, the thin strands sticking out in every direction, Renjun has no idea how Jaemin manages to keep his so nice everyday. Actually, Renjun has no idea how Jaemin just looks so attractive all the darn time. And really, no one can blame Jeno for being attracted to Jaemin. Hell, even Renjun had his eyes on Jaemin for a little while. 

 

Renjun is aware of the fact that comparing yourself to others, especially someone like Jaemin, is unfair. There's no competition, and even if there was, Renjun knows he'd lose. Renjun wasn't adventurous, charismatic, or even mildly comedic, and Jaemin was- Jaemin was all those things and more, so of course, it only made sense for Jeno to like Jaemin instead of Renjun. 

 

It’s similar to how a female bird would choose a mate. Obviously, she would want the one with brighter feathers, a nicer nest, and better courtship gifts. Jeno was the female bird searching for a mate (although, truthfully, they all were searching for mates), Jaemin was the male bird with the bright feathers and a nice nest and good valuables. Renjun, Renjun was the bird on the sidelines that didn’t stand a chance as a competitor. 

 

He didn’t stand a chance. 

  
  
  
  
  


Renjun remembers the words Jeno had said yesterday perfectly, they'd been swimming in his brain since. 

 

_ “Half the time you mumble and stutter your way through sentences and the other half you speak to me like you're telling me a fact.” _

 

Renjun processed that comment as a negative observation, meaning Jeno thought of Renjun's vocabulary and lingo as lame or unusual. Renjun knew he wasn't the best a being social, hell, before Jaemin Renjun hadn't interacted with another human being for more than 3 minutes in years. Renjun had always been one to elongate his sentences to further elaborate when he deemed it necessary, did that make him lame? Certainly not in his opinion. 

 

Now that he's thinking about it though, perhaps he did tend to word things in a way that could take longer for the average teenage brain the process. Renjun didn't exactly take liking to the words ‘bro’ or ‘lit’, and he was uncomfortable with often using vulgar language like Jaemin does. Renjun also does not like saying ‘y'all’ like Jeno does. He thought of such words as gross slang, but maybe it's time he give them a try, right? Especially if that's what will make him appear more relatable and likable. 

 

Renjun takes a deep breath before pushing open the door, allowing himself to exit the bathroom and enter the main room. 

 

Jeno approaches him immediately. “Gosh, what took you so long? I have to get ready.” Jeno pushes past him and stumbles into the bathroom. “Oh! And while Jaemin and I are out we’re gonna buy some clothes and stuff that we need, what size are you?”

 

“Uhm, like… medium?” Renjun guesses, almost feeling bad because for the past nine years he hasn’t had to shop for himself. 

 

Jeno pulls a face, “Sweetie, I think you’re an extra small.”

 

His tone is meant to me light and playful, but as he walks away Renjun still feels a little hurt. 

  
  


-_-

 

Sure, maybe Jaemin shouldn’t have done that, but who doesn’t love a little drama, right? Actually, Jaemin hated drama, yet it still seemed to follow him wherever he went. It took him years to realize that he was quite problematic and at times, a little toxic as well. Jaemin wasn’t good at much, but ruining everything good in his life seemed to be what he was best at. 

 

Now was a pretty good example. Jeno and Jaemin had gone to the first coffee shop they saw, surrendering to their first option after they drove for what felt like hours and found barely any buildings. Once they had ordered their food the conversation flowed easily. It was comfortable talking to Jeno, it was like talking to that really nice neighbor that has lived across the street from you since you were three. 

 

Jaemin still gave his usual flirty comments, but Jeno just brushed them off with a laugh and a retort. If it were Renjun he’d be blushing and stuttering, struggling to respond. If it were Renjun they wouldn’t be at some boring coffee shop with shitty art, they’d be outside, or at an aquarium or some shit where Renjun could point out things and animals and give a description about them to Jaemin, along with a few unnecessary facts. 

 

And that’s where Jaemin fucked up. He was here with Jeno and not Renjun, and the only reason he had asked Jeno out in the first place had been for selfish reasons, not because the poor boy was dying and wanted to live his short life to the fullest. No, Jaemin just wanted to see the hurt look on Renjun’s face as Jeno agreed to a date with him, because Renjun wanted Jeno and not Jaemin, but Jaemin wanted Renjun and not Jeno, and now things were way more complicated than they had to be, especially in such a short amount of time. 

 

Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun had a real potential friendship  going for them, and Jaemin had already managed to ruin it. 

  
  


The last thing Jaemin really focuses on before going into full fuckboy mode is the sound of Jeno swiping his card, muttering, “What the fuck? Why is it saying declined ?”

  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  


It’s dark outside and Jeno and Jaemin have still yet to return. Renjun hasn’t really done much all day besides a few pen sketches on the pad of paper that the hotel leaves inside the room. He tried to watch animal planet, but the amphibians scared him too much to continue. 

 

Renjun glancing at the digital clock kindly placed on the bedside table, huffing as he throws his body back against the bed. 

 

_ 10:47 _

 

Who knew running away would be so boring?

 

Renjun sits up, stretching out before making his way to the balcony across the room. It’s humid and dark outside, the only light coming from windows below him. The outside air taste of copper, or maybe Renjun has just been biting his tongue again. The latter is most likely. 

 

Since Jeno has oh-so-kindly left with the room key Renjun couldn’t leave the room. Unless….

 

The ground below him isn’t  _ that  _ far away, they were only on the second floor and there’s enough ledges for him to step on. After all, height was one of the things Renjun had never feared. 

 

Without any further though, Renjun hauls his body over the railing, slowly lowering himself to the window ledge below him. Thank god his puny arms had at least an ounce of strength in them and were capable of carrying his weight, all 109 pounds. 

 

The ledge only has enough space for a quarter of his foot so he quickly jumps to one lower, and from there his feet can land on the ground safely. Renjun let’s out a long exhale, he hadn’t really thought past the ‘jump off the balcony’ part of his plan. He had no idea what more his foreign surroundings could offer him at almost eleven at night. 

 

This hotel wasn’t nearly as extravagant as the last, but it sure as hell was still nice. It was more for truckers to stay at he assumed, especially since they sold undergarments and other random one-use necessities at the front desk. Plus, three semis were in the parking lot. Other than that, only a few other vehicles occupied the space. 

 

Renjun clicks his tongue, trying to spot things other than trucks and street lamps. Not many buildings surrounded the area. Actually, none did. He recalls the woman at the front desk saying something about a restaurant down the street, but that’s about it. 

 

The wind whistles and the breeze feels nice. Renjun decides to unzip his hoodie and let his bare arms enjoy the cool feeling. He closes his eyes, head tipped back. 

 

Here he stood, Renjun, age eighteen, a senior in high school, a hit man in training (at least that’s what his father had referred to him as once or twice). Renjun was pretty normal and average, boring, even. But these past two weeks have been a little unreal.

 

For starters, two weekends ago he woke up in his king sized bed inside his mansion, uncomfortably eaten breakfast with his father and his girlfriends, and painted. Nothing too unusual or out of the ordinary, except he had been told he would be attending his very first day at high school, in senior year, two months before graduation. That was new, and new things didn’t happen often in Renjun’s life, at least not in the past six-ish years. Everyday seemed to blend together and repeat itself almost as if it were on loop. He woke up, ate, briefly conversed, painted, wrote, ate, and then stared at the ceiling until suddenly it was morning. That was his routine, but his routine had been abruptly changed. 

 

On Renjun’s very first day of highschool he skipped majority of the day and revisited a sight that had been a huge part of his childhood - the park, except now it was burned down, and he hadn’t visited it since the day he had lit it to flames. 

 

He met Jaemin that day, his first kiss (on the mouth, Jeno had kissed his cheek on New Years when they were nine) and the first boy he had ever brought home.

 

Then Renjun had discussed the assassination of an old friend- or enemy, as his father had said- Lee Jeno. Renjun broke into said enemy’s home with a simple plan to empty a packet of poisonous substance into Jeno’s orange juice carton and then exit the premises.

 

In the end, he had left with two familiar yet questionable teens by his side. 

 

Now the three of them ran away from their problems and their old lives. It happened so fast, but Renjun knew this was just the beginning of things, the tip of the iceberg. There were many more things for the three of them to accomplish together. 

 

Renjun hadn’t even fully gotten to know Jaemin yet or determine how reliable the teen was. And Jeno, Jeno was even more of a mystery than Jaemin. Jaemin was new territory, almost completely unknown, which made it easier to explore and discover. Jeno on the other hand, Renjun knew him as a young child, but just a few days in Renjun was already questioning his previous knowledge on the male. Along with the fact that suddenly his lonely and desperate heart decided to beat ten times faster whenever Jeno was in close proximity. 

 

Renjun caught feelings fast, according to his limited experience, and that was very apparent right now as he wandered off towards the exit of the parking lot, spotting their Mercedes behind a large truck, Jeno and Jaemin inside. 

 

He would greet his friends if not for the fact that they were currently occupied with attempting to eat each other’s faces off. 

 

From the looks of it Jeno is halfway on Jaemin’s lap, part of his lower half still on the driver’s seat. Jaemin had his arms wrapped around Jeno, pulling him close as their lips lock. 

 

Renjun can’t explain the clench in his chest, nor can he explain the overwhelming hurt he feels. It’s stupid, he knows it is. He’s acting like some fourteen year old girl in a shitty teen drama. There’s no reason his feelings should be hurt, it’s not like Jeno was his boyfriend, heck, Jeno didn’t even know exactly who Renjun is. Regardless, tears build up in Renjun’s eyes, threatening to spill over.

 

Jeno and Jaemin pull away from each other briefly, Renjun turns away quickly, hiding himself on the opposite side of the truck near him. After a few seconds of standing completely still, he glanced back at the  mercedes, where Jeno and Jaemin have resumed sucking each other’s faces. He takes this as a chance to run away from the scene and back towards the hotel building. 

 

Once he’s reached a point where he can see his balcony he tries to find a surface to place his foot on to lift himself up. 

 

Something fuzzy rubs against his bare ankle. 

 

_ Meow.  _

 

When Renjun looks down his eyes are met with, an admittedly cute, sight- a tiny black cat. 

  
  


-_-

  
  


Jaemin is catching breath after a long makeout session with Jeno when a memory pops into his head. Him and Lani had made out in the car everyday, even set aside a time for it, the memory makes him chuckle. 

 

His first, and only love, the girl he lost his virginity to; Lani.

 

She was his best friend and sister —not blood related— before she was his lover. Jaemin was twelve when he met her, her parents had been kind enough to foster him, and they were way better than the other families Jaemin had lived with, at least that’s what he thought at first. 

 

Mr. and Mrs. Keyh were the perfect, apple pie kind of family. They liked to give back to their community and help children in need, children like Jaemin. Initially Jaemin had been told Lani was adopted, though in reality she had been a result of infidelity, it was obvious in the way that her caramel skin was darker than Mr. Keyh, hair curlier, and anyone who spent long enough with the family could tell he did not take liking to his illegitimate child. 

 

When Jaemin was fourteen he began to question if maybe Mr. Keyh had liked Lani a little  _ too  _ much, his hand lingering on her upper thigh, eyes boring into any of her exposed skin, and words sickeningly sweet. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on, although Lani refuses to talk about it. By that time Lani and Jaemin had decided it was a wise decision to address each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. Mr. Keyh did  _ not  _ like that. 

 

Jaemin was fifteen when Lani revealed their relationship to Mr and Mrs Keyh, along with a pregnancy test that read  _ positive.  _ Jaemin had no idea how to react, he had never predicted he’d be a teen dad. 

 

Jaemin was still fifteen when Mr. Keyh beat the daylights out of him, physically throwing him out of their home. The last words he received from Lani had not been pleasant. There was no  _ ‘goodbye’  _ or a final ‘ _ I love you’.  _ Instead, the last words Jaemin ever heard, and will ever hear from Lani was:

 

_ “I don’t know if the baby is yours or  _ **_his_ ** _.”  _

  
  
  


-_-

  
  


Renjun is cuddling with the small, wet black cat on the couch when Jeno and Jaemin are entering the front door. 

 

“You’re right on time, I just bathed her.”

 

Both Jaemin and Jeno’s eyes snap towards Renjun and his furry friend. 

 

Jeno gasps, “What. Is.  _ That? _ ” 

 

“A feline.”

 

Jeno rushes over, breathing rapidly increased. “You- you have a CAT?! FROM WHERE?”

 

“She was outside. I brought her in.”

 

“How did you even get in and out?” Jaemin asks, making his way over as well. 

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Jeno answers for him instead. “We  _ have  _ to name her. Jaemin go get some paper and a pen we need to brainstorm.”

 

Jaemin huffs, rolling his eyes, “Just like, look at her and a name will come to you. All that other shit is unnatural.”

 

Jeno nods, squatting down to get face to face with the cat that’s half hidden the hoodie that Renjun has wrapped him in. After a few moments of deep thought he says, 

  
  


“Milky.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been really sad lately and also super busy but I did what i could i really don’t want to give up on this story so I’ll keep pushing! Ur comments really motivate me thank y’all so much. Also they have all showered like once but they ain’t really changed clothes cause they nasty as hell. You’ll see in the next chapter though don’t worry y’alls my boys finna change clothes. And also I started highschool like two weeks ago omo


	10. 10 | Jeno, Renjun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3\. Sunroof-car-movie-scene-moment (check)  
> 11\. Rob a grocery store (check)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me. Whehhedghd im just kidding here’s the update after a month

 

“Milky?”

 

“Yes, Renjun, _Milky_.” Jeno says, reaching out to gently pet the damp animal. The cat allows it, even pressing into Jeno’s palm before rapidly shaking it’s body to shake off some of the remaining water droplet on it’s fur. Jeno stores the adorable sight away for later, it’ll definitely provide some inspiration for his writing.

 

“I think the name is cute,” Jaemin defends. “Milky. I like it. Why don’t _you_ like it, Renjun?”

 

“I- uh, I- I didn’t say I didn’t like it. In fact, I _love_ the name Milky. If- if Jeno didn’t suggest it I would have.”

 

“Oh really now?” Jaemin teases.

 

“Yes!” Renjun scoots away from the cat just enough so he can bend down to get eye-level. “Isn’t that right, Milky?”

 

The cat, of course, does not respond. Still, Renjun says, “See? Even the feline is aware that I am the original suggester.”

 

Instead of continuing their ridiculous argument Jeno decides to bring up an important topic. “Where is Milky gonna sleep?”

 

“Well there’s only one bed,” Jaemin starts.

 

“The sleeping arrangements are very unclear, I believe it is in our best interest to clear that up right away.”

 

“We all can just sleep in one bed?” Jeno prompts.

 

“I like that idea,” Jaemin agrees. “Dibs on the middle.”

 

Jeno laughs, “Dibs on Milky.” He then scoops up the kitten in his arms, practically skipping to the bedroom. Jaemin follows in suit almost immediately, leaving Renjun dumbfounded. Eventually Renjun follows as well, albeit reluctantly.

 

Once all three of them are inside the bedroom Jeno notices the lack of comfortable clothing. “Hey the front desk carries pajamas, I only have one pair up here but I can go down and ask for some more.”

 

“Nah,” Jaemin yawns. Before Jeno can blink Jaemin is pulling his shirt over his head, already beginning to slide off his joggers. “I like to sleep naked.”

 

Renjun shrieks, covering his eyes and turning around so his back is facing the undressed boy. “For the sake of my comfort I beg of you to please keep your clothing on!”

 

Jaemin laughs, “Chill, I’m keeping on my boxers.”

 

Renjun sighs in relief, turning around and cautiously uncovering his eyes.

 

“You’ll see the rest another time, don’t worry.”

 

Renjun chokes out a sound in response.

 

“In that case, do you want the pjs, Renjun?”

 

“Uhm… Yes, I suppose, thank you.”

 

Jeno reaches into the bedside table, pulling out the matching grey set that resembled hospital clothes more than pajamas, tossing them at Renjun.

 

Renjun nods as a silent thanks, making his way to the bathroom connected to the room.

 

“Just change in here, it’ll be quicker. Jeno and I want to sleep asap.”

 

Renjun pauses, “Oh. I- okay, okay.” He doesn’t move though, back facing his companions. He holds the pajama set in between his skinny thighs as he begins to pull the hem of his shirt up.

 

Renjun’s spinal cord is extremely visible through his thin skin, Jeno notes. The skin is gone quicker than it appeared, Renjun puts his new shirt on in lightning speed, briefly pausing before he pulls his pants down, almost tripping over his on feet in the process. Jeno only gets a peak at the boy’s white boxers and merely seconds later he’s fully Dressed again.

 

“I can fold your clothes,” Jeno offers.

 

“No,” Renjun rejects almost immediately. “I like to have it done a certain way.”

 

Renjun rushes over to the nearest flat surface- the bedside dresser, and gently places down his clothing. Not even a second layer he is picking up his pants again, unrolling the bottoms.

 

“Third, second, first,” Renjun counts quietly as he uncuffs his jeans, quickly movin on to the next pant leg.

 

Jeno stares at him, amused. “You’re so weird, Renjun.”

 

Renjun looks up at him, eyes wide, “Oh, I am quite strange, I suppose.”

 

Jeno just huffs out a laugh in response, watching as Renjun continues the task he was doing.

 

“Is that uh, is that positive or negative?”

 

“Neither. You’re memorable, that’s all. Your character is so specific, I think even if you changed faces I’d be able to recognize you.”

 

Renjun tenses up, shouting out a quick excuse before running off to the bathroom.

 

Jeno raises his brow.

 

“He’s just on his man period or some shit,” Jaemin explains as he slips under the covers. “Now bring your ass over here, I’m tired.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeno hadn’t been this happy in a while. Here he is, body almost falling off the edge of the bed, Jaemin’s arm lazily wrapped around his shoulders, with the cutest little black kitten in his lap. His parents never let him have his own pet, especially not a cat because of his father’s allergies. But now he had one, his very own kitty. He’d have to thank Renjun later when he had a chance.

 

Speaking of Renjun, there was something a little… _off?_ about him. Jeno couldn’t exactly pinpoint it but the boy was very strange in the most familiar ways. Renjun’s personality was so unmistakably peculiar, and what Jeno had said earlier has been stuck in his own mind.

 

_What if Renjun really had changed faces? What if Renjun was…_

 

No, that’s absurd and impossible, Jeno tells himself. But the more he toys with the idea, the more valid it seems. It’s not _that_ far of a stretch, there were so many similarities, so many things that would add up if it were true, but still, Jeno refused to allow himself to consider something so ridiculous.

 

Jeno’s stomach growls, a dull ache following it. With a groan, he hauls his body off of the bed, only to fall to the ground immediately after, body colliding with the floor.

 

His head spins and dots cover his vision. It takes him a full minute to process what’s happening, and once he does he reaching for his backpack near the bedside table.

 

With shaky, rushed hands he unzips the biggest pocket, fingers searching for a syringe. He finds it easy enough, the box of syringes taking up almost half of the space in his jansport. Quickly he pulls out a syringe, needle already attached.

 

He hovers the point over his most prominent vein, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before stabbing it into his arm.

 

Jeno is reminded of the one time his co-star had an allergic reaction that made his face and throat swell up. The poor boy could barely breathe and his epipen has been his only hope. Jeno feels similarly in this moment.

 

Except Jeno isn’t allergic to peanuts and his life doesn’t depend on an epipen, rather he’s already dying and this needle is the only way to look and feel like he isn’t. This isn’t new, he’s had to use the drugs before for interviews and public appearances, but he’s never taken more than one injection in the span of a few months, let alone three in under a week. He knows the risks, yet he still can’t bring himself to care.

 

From his side he can hear shuffling on the bed. Quickly, Jeno shoves the empty syringe back into his backpack.

 

“Morning,” Jaemin groans.

 

“Morning, lets go get breakfast.”

  
  


Almost two hours after Jeno’s suggestion, the three teens and their cat are parked in front of a supermarket, only a few other vehicles among them.

 

“I assume you compiled a list of necessities for us to purchase,” Renjun says as the three of them walk towards the entrance.

 

“Nope,” Jeno replies, sending Milky- who is happily seating in the passenger seat- an air kiss.

 

“Alrighty then,” Renjun sighs. The overwhelmingly cool air of the market hits him suddenly and he momentarily tenses. “We needn’t worry, I have a mental list already made. We need bathing soap, preferably the scentless kind, my skin is quite sensitive, along with other toiletries like toothbrushes and so on. We also need items such as undergarments and possibly some thermal wear to keep warm and-“

 

“-Candy,” Jaemin mutters, eyes wide at the selection in front of him.

 

There’s aisles upon aisles of sugary heaven, dozens of colors and rainbows taking up Jeno’s sight, and he’s honestly overwhelmed. “Jesus Christ, y’all. Did we just step into a different universe or something?”

 

“Renjun, go grab a cart and all the other shit you said we needed,” Jaemin instructs. “Meet back here in five minutes, times ticking.”

 

“Why-“

 

“No time for questions, go!”

 

After slight hesitation and no real objections, Renjun complies, leaving Jeno alone with a bright eyed Jaemin. Hardly a few seconds later, Jaemin is grabbing handfuls of bags and boxes of candy and chucking them into the cart that Jeno luckily had grabbed on their way in. It feels as though Jeno blinked and the cart is already halfway full with sweets that he can’t even identify.

 

“C’mon, there’s different kinds in other aisles,” Jaemin says, grabbing the end of the cart and dragging it behind him.

 

The aisle next to them has clear containers full of snacks as opposed to packaged sweets. There’s bags and big spoons to scoop the candy out and place into the bag, along with scales to measure the weight and determine the price of the items, but Jaemin completely ignores all of that, marching towards a clear box full of yogurt covered pretzels.

 

It happens so fast and Jeno is so flabbergasted, feet glued to the ground as he watches Jaemin get to work.

 

Jaemin manages to wiggle his nails behind the box, fingers trapped between the plastic and the wooden wall it’s glued to. He places one foot against the wood as well, the other on the tiled floor to stabilize himself. After a deep breath, he pulls the box forward with his hands, using his foot to push the wall away in an attempt to free the box. It takes him about ten seconds of struggling and groaning but soon enough his body is flying to the ground, plastic container in his arms.

 

Jaemin is scrambling to his feet immediately after, a huge triumphant smile plastered on his face. He gently sets the container inside the cart, it’s contents almost spilling out due to the uneven boxes and bags underneath it.

 

“Jaemin what the fuck are you doing?”

 

“Taking care of number eleven,” He explains nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just rip an entire bin of candy off of the wall.

 

“What?”

 

“From the list. You know- nevermind, no time to explain, just help me out before an employee decides to pull up.”

 

Jaemin then intertwines their fingers, pulling Jeno forward to the wall of candy. He guides Jeno’s hands behind a bin of chocolate covered almonds. “Just yank it off and throw it in the cart.”

 

Jeno doesn’t bother asking any further questions, it’d be pointless anyway, Jaemin is too occupied with his strange mission to answer. So, like any sane man would do, Jeno begins to pry the chocolate covered almonds off the wall. At first the glue sticking the plastic to the wood has high resistance, but after only a few yanks it’s loose enough to peel off.

 

The rattle of candy and shaking of the shelves causes a big commotion, and Jeno knows they don’t have much time before either a customer or an employee catches them. Quickly, he tosses the bin into the cart, moving onto his next target.

 

“Wait, no more,” Jaemin grabs Jeno’s wrist to stop him. “Let’s find Renjun.”

 

Jaemin says it so calmly that Jeno is completely surprised when the boy starts running; Jeno’s only option is to follow in suit, heavy cart in front of him.

 

Jaemin runs off way to fast, forcing Jeno to make a few sharp turns, almost running into an old lady in the process. “Jaemin, slow down! Geez. Why are you even running?”

 

Jaemin doesn’t slow down in the slightest, ignoring Jeno completely. Jeno is honestly so confused, but something about this entire situation is exciting in a way. Sure, he wishes he knew what the hell was going on, but the mystery just adds to the excitement.

 

It reminds Jeno of Mario Kart, constantly swerving, sharp turns, and going as fast as you can. Jeno ha dimly played the game once when game cubes were still a thing, but he decides that running through a supermarket for seemingly no reason is better.

 

Jaemin makes one final turn before he finally reaches his destination. “Sodddddaaaaa,” he breathes out.

 

And Jeno thought _Renjun_ was strange.

 

Jeno expects Jaemin to chuck liters of soda into the cart like her had down with the candy. Instead, Jaemin walks with determined steps straight towards the selection of Dr.Peppers. He gently grabs one liter of the original, placing it inside the part of the cart where a small child would go.

 

Jaemin Smiles down at the soda, caressing it for a few short seconds. It creates a calm, extremely creepy aura, but then suddenly he seems to have woken up from his daze. “Okay, _now_ we need to find Renjun.”

 

Jaemin turns around on his heel, and thankfully this time he doesn’t run off, instead taking big, happy steps. Under his breath he mutters, “where is that fucker?”

 

Coincidentally, in the distance, a familiar voice calls out, “Jaemin? Jeno?”

 

Jaemin jogs off in the direction of the voice. Jeno follows, albeit much slower due to the weight of the full cart. When he makes a turn to the right, he collided into something, stumbling back.

 

“Sorry I-“ The stranger starts.

 

Jeno looks up to meet the eyes of a soft yet goofy looking boy. His hair is a faded red, his black roots in need of a touch up, and his eyes are wide as if he had just witnessed something traumatic.

 

“Jeno?” Renjun calls out again, reminding Jeno of the situation at hand.

 

“Sorry for running into you,” Jeno apologizes. “But if you’ll just excuse me, I have to get going.” Jeno then, as fast as the heavy cart allows him to, runs off to catch up with his pals.

  
  


“Okay, so what is the plan? I don’t think we can exactly buy containers of candy that we broke off the wall.”

 

“Well…” Jaemin trails off. “Who said anything about buying it?”

 

Renjun raises his pointer finger, “Are you implying that we do not purchase these items, Jaemin?”

 

“Yes, exactly. I’m so glad you get it!” Jaemin claps his hands together. “Okay so we parked pretty close to the entrance. I think our best bet it to run out and throw everything into the car, and then drive off. Sound good?”

 

Renjun stares at him, mouth agape, and Jeno can’t refrain from laughing at the scene.

 

“I’m not sure why I expected anything else from you,” Renjun admits, looking defeated.

 

“It’ll be fun, come on.” Jaemin grabs the cart, along with the hands of Renjun and Jeno so that all three of them are holding onto the handle together. He leads them calmly towards the checkout area where the only lady working right now gives them a confused look. “On the count of three we run, Okay?”

 

The two other boys nod.

 

The three of them continue calmly walking, slowly passing the checkout area.

 

“One.”

 

“Excuse me, do you boys need any help?” The lady questions from behind them. None of them stop, but Jeno can feel Renjun tense beside him.

 

“Two.”

 

“Where are you boys going.”

 

Jeno’s hands feel funny and his heartbeat accelerates. He doesn’t feel anxious though, excitement runs through his veins and the mild fear that has settled deep in his tummy feels oddly pleasant. Jeno anticipates the next digit that leaves Jaemin’s mouth.

 

“Three.”

  
  
  
  
  


Even Jaemin is panting when they reach their car. Jeno can hear his own heartbeat in his ears, his stomach burning with an unexplainable feeling. The worker hadn’t even chased them outside, yet adrenaline is fueling Jeno’s body, making him giddy and overwhelmed. He’s never felt anything like this, not even when he hoped in a stolen car with two strangers who had attempted to rob his home. Right now he felt on top of the world, regardless of the fact that in reality, all he had done was steal unnecessary groceries from a supermarket in the middle of nowhere.

 

Jaemin opens the back doors, taking handfuls of items at a time to toss them into the back seat. Jeno helps, barely taking note of the unnecessary amount of hygiene products Renjun placed into the cart and unfashionable clothing.

 

Briefly Jeno wonders how the three of them will fit in the car if the backseat is full, but once all the items are tightly packed in the back, Jeno decides to take one for the team and sit on top of the container of almonds, body levitated.

 

Jaemin rushedly gets into the driver's seat, instructing Renjun to do what ever the fuck he does to start the car, and soon enough the trio is backing out of their parking spot, and speeding down the street.

 

“Jaemin, slow down!” Renjun warns. “Small towns make a lot of their money off of speeding tickets, and we _really_ cannot get pulled over right now.” Renjun’s voice raises in pitch.

 

With a grunt of dissatisfaction, Jaemin allows the speed to decelerate. “You guys never let me have any fun,” He complains.

 

“If I am correct, which I most definitely am, we just allowed you to force us into committing theft.” Renjun doesn’t look very pleased.

 

“Renjun, you can’t tell me that wasn’t fucking awesome,” Jaemin argues, but there’s no bite to his words and a large grin graces his features. “C’mon, look how much fuckin’ sweets we got, we’ll be set for weeks!”

 

Renjun glances back, eyes flickering in between Jeno and the loot.

 

Jeno throws him a smile, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt a rush like that before, it was amazing.”

 

“I guess it was kind of exciting,” Renjun admits. “I’ve never really been a fan of stealing, though.”

 

“But didn’t you and Jaemin do that all the time?” Jeno questions.

 

“Uh… yes? Y-yeah, yes. Yes we did. I just meant-.”

 

“Renjun what’s that in your lap?” Jaemin asks quickly.

 

“Oh, this?” Renjun lifts up the item of interest, and Jeno swears he’s never uwu’d so hard. It’s a very tiny shark costume, probably meant for baby’s but Jeno knows who Renjun had in mind when he snatched it. “I saw it and thought it’d look cute on Milky.”

 

If Jeno weren’t on some kind of high, his face would probably hurt from how hard he’s cheesing. Jeno leans forward, letting his lips briefly touch Renjun’s cheek, giving him a quick peck before leaning back.

 

Renjuns neck visibly reddens and Jeno giggles. As if on cue, Milky crawls into Jeno’s lap and nuzzles his palm, rubbing the white crumbs on her face on him. “I think she got into the yogurt pretzels,” He laughs.

 

At this point Jaemin is driving at an almost normal speed, still a little too fast and swerving a little too much, but it’s close enough.

 

“We’ve been driving south this whole time, so I guess we’ll be boo’d up with some yeehaw folks,” Jaemin Jokes. “Jeno will fit right in.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean!?”

 

“Don’t think I ain’t notice all your ‘y’all’s.”

 

“That’s not even a southern thing!” Jeno argues.

 

“Okay, if you say so, but if y’all end up in’duh countray n’ y’alls gotta wear sum boouts and blue jeaaans-“

 

Jeno punches him in the shoulder before he can continue his mocking.

 

Jaemin laughs, steering with one hand so his other can run the spot Jeno assaulted. “But for real though, where are we going. Renjun?”

 

Renjun doesn’t acknowledge them, his eyes are closed and a wide, lazy grin is on his face.

 

“Renjun?”

 

-_-

 

_“Renjun,” His mother whispers-yells, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. “Why the hell would you steal from my employers? Do you realize that without this job I couldn’t help support us? Were you trying to get me fired?”_

 

_“No,” Renjun declines. “I wasn’t Mommy, I promise.”_

 

_“Then what the hell were you trying to do?”_

 

_“I was just-“ He hiccups. “I was just hungry.”_

 

_His mother’s face softens. She sighs, “Junnie why didn’t you say so? I would have fed you.”_

 

_“M’sorry.”_

 

_She reaches out to pat and rub his small shoulders. “It’s alright baby, just tell me next time okay?”_

 

_“Alright,” Renjun agrees, rubbing his eyes._

 

_“Okay now go put the skittles back and play outside, I still have a few hours on the clock.”_

 

_Renjun nods and scurries off. Once he’s exited the kitchen he feels a hand grab at his shirt and pull him into a different room._

 

_“You didn’t have to get in trouble for me,” Jeno says with a pout._

 

_Renjun shrugs, “it’s what friends do.”_

 

_“Best friends,” Jeno corrects._

 

_“Best friends,” Renjun repeats. “Here.” Renjun passes him the small package of skittles._

 

_Jeno happily accepts it, pulling Renjun in for a hug. “Thank you, Injun.”_

 

_And just a split second before he pulls away, Renjun feels Jeno’s soft moist lips collide with the soft skin of his puffy cheeks._

 

Besides now, Renjun had only dared to steal once. It was a bag of skittles for Jeno, his only friend at the time. Jeno’s parents forbid the boy from anymore sweets for the time being, causing a tantrum from the eight year old. Renjun, who had easy access to the kitchen due to his mother’s occupation inside the Lee household, took the risk of attempting to steal the candy. His mother had caught him, but let him go with a tad bit of scolding. His reward in the end was his first kiss, and it had been completely worth it.  

 

“Renjun,” Jaemin calls out for the third time.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Damn, boy. The fucks got you all smiley, don’t tell me you were thinking ‘bout tits while Jeno and I were making grown up decisions.”

 

Renjun pulls a face. “No, of course not.”

 

“Whatever, nerd. Now I repeat, where we going?”

  
  
  


They’re parked outside a motel, their shittiest rest stop so far. “I don’t wanna sleep just yet, we barely did anything today,” Jeno complains, plopping a new lifesaver in his mouth.

 

“We robbed a grocery store,” Renjun reminds.

 

“Yeah but that took like, an hour.”

 

“And it’s still daylight,” Jaemin adds.

 

“Well what do you hooligans suggest, then?”

 

Jaemin and Jeno share a look and ponder aloud.

 

“A movie?”

 

“Hentai?”

 

“Food!”

 

“Pantie raid!”

 

“Bowling.”

 

“Threesome.”

 

“Jaemin, all of your suggestions are unhelpful and inappropriate.”

 

“Renjun, you’re just being a prude.”

 

The words come from Jaemin but Jeno nods along in agreement. Renjun doesn’t want to be seen as a prude, especially not to Jeno, but he can’t exactly compete to Jaemin, good ol’ reckless and outgoing Jaemin.

 

“Just loosen up a bit,” Jeno says, patting Renjun on the shoulder. “We don’t have to do anything too out of your comfort zone, but maybe just be a little more open minded.”

 

Jeno has on his sweet, comforting smile, and god Renjun trusts him so much, he’d do anything to impress him, make him happy. Even if that something includes making idiotic decisions.

 

“I’m getting bored of this car,” Renjun lies, leaning back and picking at his nails. “I think we can find a better one.”

 

Jaemin grips Renjun by the shoulders, forcing the boy to turn awkwardly in his seat to face him. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

 

“Depends, there’s a chance you may have misinterpreted my words but I think it’s safe to assume that I am saying what you think I am saying.”

 

Jaemin furrows his brow, “Are we stealing a better car or not?”

 

“Yes, yes we are.”

 

Jeno gasps, “Well look at you, showing some rebellion.”

 

Renjun blushes, the corner of his lips twitching upwards. “I- I suppose I am portraying quite the rebellious character in the moment.”

 

“Okay, rebel, where do we find a flashier car, then?”

 

“I failed to take that into consideration.”

 

“We don’t really need a _flashier_ one, just a different one,” Jaemin shrugs.

 

At this, Renjun’s mouth falls open. “I was under the impression you enjoyed expensive cars.”

 

Jaemin shakes his hands in front of himself, “No, no, I do, trust me I do. I was just thinking we could drive down to the city and explore, I’ve never been in this state. But like, if we had the red Mercedes or some shit we’d be noticed and ion’ think that’s a good idea, we gotta keep low key.”

 

Jeno and Renjun both are giving Jaemin wide eyes.

 

“What?! I live in a poor neighborhood and curse, don’t mean I’m retarded, I have a brain.”

 

Renjun almost corrects him, because in order to reach the level of mental retardation your IQ would need to be 319 or lower, and retardation doesn’t correlate with wealthiness, but he refrains from doing so.

 

Jeno speaks instead, “We know that Jaemin, it was just a little out of character, but we know you have a brain, baby.”

 

The corner of Renjun’s lips fall downward. _‘Babe’ ,_ that was new. Renjun always thought that if Jeno was going to use pet names that: a) he’d never use them on Jaemin, and b) he’d use something better than _‘babe’._ Something like sweetie, or honey, anything but a generic, uncreative and gross _‘babe’._

 

“Okay, okay sorry. I’m just coming down from my adrenaline and sugar high, and I haven’t been _actually_ high in fucking days so I’m on a mental rollercoaster right now, I can’t handle all this shit.”

 

Jeno uses his hand closest to Jaemin to rub the teens shoulder soothingly. “Poor baby, lets ditch this car and take the first one available, alright? Then we can drive down to the city quickly and have some good ol’ bonding time.”

 

The gesture is soothing for Jaemin, but unsettling for Renjun.

 

Jaemin nods, “sounds perfect, thank you.”

 

“And there’s drugs everywhere, they’re easy to find, even in the south,” Jeno adds with a wink and one last pat. “Now let’s find a new friggin car!”

  
  
  
  


They settled on an old 4-door blue Jeep that was at a gas station nearby. The owner was inside the store after she had already filled the vehicle up with gas, keys still in the ignition. In other words, it was a perfect opportunity that they’d be fools not to take.

 

“Dibs on driving!” Jaemin shouts, slamming shut the trunk full of their stolen necessities. After, he runs towards the front seat.

 

Jeno rolls his eyes, opening the door to the back seat at the same time Renjun opens the other side.

 

“Oh, I suppose you prefer back here, my apologies.”

 

“No, it’s okay,” Jeno assures. “we should rotate anyways.”

 

“Oh my god,” Jaemin groans. “Just share the backseat you fags.”

 

Jeno chokes on a laugh, hopping inside the vehicle. Renjun is still standing outside with his hand on the handle. Jeno extends his hand for Renjun to take, “Well what are you waiting for? Come on.”

 

Renjun takes his hand, because really, he’d follow Jeno anywhere.

  
  
  
  
  


The lights reflect on Jeno’s glossy eyes as they drive deeper and deeper into the city. Regardless of the fact that Jeno has visited countless cities, most more extravagant than this one, he still looks pleased.

 

“Any requests?” Jeno asks, holding Jaemin’s phone that’s connected to the aux cord in his hand.

 

“Something that goes hard,” Jaemin responds.

 

“I don’t believe that sentence makes sense,” Renjun says.

 

“Then how ‘bout you give a song Mr.smartypants, let’s see what geek shit you listen to. Prolly Mozart or sum’.”

 

“False, I prefer lyrical music over instrumental,” Renjun corrects. “But a balance of both is appreciated.”

 

“Okay, here.” Jeno passes Renjun the only device the three of them have, seeing as Jeno and Renjun neglected to bring along any technology.

 

Renjun squints, trying to spot the small search bar on the cracked, old phone. He’s on an app that he doesn’t recognize, the orange header looks vaguely familiar and the name is on the tip of his tongue. Streamclear? Soundcode? Soundcloud? Whatever the name, Renjun hopes the artist he’s searching for is available on this application.

 

 _‘Eagles’_  he types. Their profile doesn’t show up, so he tries to type in the specific song he’s searching for. _‘Hotel California’._ Only a few results pop up, all claiming to me remixes. Renjun decides to chose the first one, silently praying it isn’t a shitty dubstep version.

 

_The beginning starts as just an instrumental, a few hums and bells to harmonize._

 

“I’ve been to New York,” Jeno starts, talking over the music. “I’ve also been to Seoul, Las Vegas, Shanghai, and many more,” Jeno reaches passed Jaemins shoulder, body stretching from the back seat, and holds down a button, causing the sunroof to open up fully. He crawls forward to kneel on the middle department. “But I’ve never been able to do this.” Jeno stands, lifting himself up so that his upper body, torso and up, is exposed to the late night air.

 

_The baseline kicks in, repetitive thumps and a new guitar adding to the melody._

 

Renjun can’t see his face from this angle, but he an hear the boy let out a loud giggle.

 

“Get up here, Junnie.” Jeno scoots over as much as he can, leaving just enough space for Renjun to have one foot on the middle department and the other on the empty passenger seat.

 

_The first verse begins to play._

 

Their upper bodies fit perfectly in the open sunroof, chest to chest, and he would probably be cold if not for the heat radiating off of Jeno. Renjun hasn’t been this close to Jeno, or really anyone else for that matter, in so long, and Renjun hopes Jeno can’t feel his heart pounding.

 

Jeno smiles at him, wide and breathtaking. “Look,” He says, eyes leaving Renjun to take in their surroundings. They speed pass building after building, street lamp after street lamp, store after store, each one blending in with the other yet still keeping its individuality, painting a beautiful scene. “I’m in fucking pajamas,” Jeno says, leaving Renjun momentarily confused until he continues. “Not a suit. There is no crowd surrounding me, no press trying to invade my privacy. My parents aren’t here to scold me or use me as an act for their audience, make me pretend and lie to thousands of people for their sake.”

 

_The first chorus kicks in, more muted then Renjun remembers._

 

“In this very moment, I could do anything I want, free from judgement,” Jeno speaks slow and breathy, like he can’t believe his own words. “I feel free.”

 

“That's amazing, Jeno,” Renjun says, because it is, _he_ is.

 

“Thank you, thank you so much Renjun. You freed me, if it weren’t for you I would be half dead on my couch, watching stupid kdrama reruns,” Jeno laughs, eyes glossy.

 

Renjun smiles, though it’s bittersweet. Jeno doesn’t know the real reason why Renjun was invading his home. In reality, Jeno should be thanking Jaemin, because if it weren’t for Jaemin, who knows what would’ve happened, if Renjun would’ve gone through with his father's plan.

 

_Verse two is coming to an end, and the chorus is approaching once again._

 

“You claim to be able to do anything right now, so what would- what _will_ you do.”

 

Jeno looks so utterly joyful, beaming with happiness as his hair blows in different directions of the wind, open-mouthed smile stretching across his face. His eyes shine, seeming to reflect double the light of the street lamps they pass, Renjun wonders what he did to be allowed to even breathe the same air as this wonderful being. Jeno doesn’t respond to him, instead, he looks the smaller teen right in the eye, grabbing him by the chin to pull him closer.

 

_The vocals and instruments come in full swing, fitting the scene_

 

Jeno closes his eyes, but Renjun’s are wide open in shock as he feels Jeno’s soft lips brush against his own. Jeno presses in harder, firmer, slotting his lips with Renjun’s.

 The wind blows harshly around them, drowning out the music in the background and disheviling his hair. It feels like everything slows down and this moment is the only thing occupying his thoughts, it’s the only thing he can feel and focus on, nothing else matters because it’s just the two of them.

It’s then, that Renjun knows for sure, this is _his_ Jeno.

 

-_-

 

 Renjun tried to follow Jeno’s lead, but his lack of experience shows. Jeno pulls away slowly, giving one last peck before leaning back. Even in the poor lighting he can see Renjun’s flushed pink cheeks, the blush spreads all the way down to his neck, and Jeno knows he’s seen that before.

 

“Was that your first?” Jeno asks.

 

“Second.”

 

“Me too,” Jeno responds. “Who was your first?”

 

“Jaemin.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Renjun laughs, _actually_ laughs, not just for the sake of not wanting to be left out, but he laughs with his whole chest, mouth wide open, flashing his teeth. He hiccups after letting out his last chuckle, “We really are two peas in a mutated pod that lacks the other 4-5 peas it is supposed to contain.”

 

And then, in that very moment, all doubts he had vanish, and there is nothing left to question because he confirms with the utmost certainty that this is him, this is his-

 

_“Injun.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely wasn’t worth a month to wait but hey here it is. I’ve been super occupied with school and moving and being head over heels for a stupid senior that has no interest in me but y’all don’t need excuses. I have so many story ideas but I’m not exactly good at pulling through, the idea for this story came to me like half a year ago and I’m still not even done writing it so we’ll see. Once this one is over I’ll ask u guys which idea you wanna see written first. Anyways I’ll see you guys soon hopefully, but maybe it’ll be another month.


	11. 11 | Jeno and Renjun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeno sees flashes of red and blue, but only for a mere second before his eyes close again, too exhausted to keep them open any longer. The last thing he registers is the feeling of slim fingers pulling at his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens and next chapter is gonna take a huge turn that is gonna be suprisinf and honestly unnecessary

_Jeno and Renjun are sitting on the swings in Jeno’s backyard after an intense match of ‘who can swing higher’. They are no longer swinging, rather lightly swaying while kicking the dirt underneath them._

 

_“We’re In synch,” Renjun comments, eyes focused on the way his feet move the same time Jeno’s do._

 

_“What’s that?” Jeno questions._

 

_“It means we’re doing something at the same time,” he explains._

 

_“Oh, like twins?”_

 

_“No, twins are two separate beings.”_

 

_“What?”_

 

_Renjun sighs, “Nothing. We’re just really alike, you get me, despite the fact that you don’t entirely understand my lingo.”_

 

_Renjun can tell Jeno has another ‘what?’ On the tip of his tongue, but thankfully he chooses to say something different. “Oh, so we’re like two peas in’a pod?!” Jeno smiles, his lack of one of his front teeth making an appearance._

 

_“Yes.” Renjun smiles back in return, but then a thought comes to mind. “Why is it two peas in a pod if there’s six to seven peas in a pod? Is the phrase just focusing on two of the six to seven peas or does it imply that only two of the peas are alike? Or that those two peas are also similar to the remaining four to five peas?”_

 

_Jeno’s eyebrows draw close together, “Uhm… I can ask my mom?”_

 

_Renjun shakes his head, “No that isn’t necessary.”_

 

_“I don’t know why it’s two peas in a pod, but I think we’re that.”_

 

_“Really?”_

 

_“Yeah! Two peas in a pod that only has two peas, that’s us.”._

 

_“So, a mutated pea pod?”_

 

_“A mu- mutate… mutae- Yeah, sure! We’re mutaeded peas!” Jeno hops up from the swing to stand proudly in front of Renjun. “Now come to the slides with me, I wanna see if we can crawl through the tunnel at the same time.”_

 

_“Mutated peas…” Renjun mutters, the corner of his lips twitching upwards and face flushing hot, watching Jeno run off. “I like that.”_

  
  
  


“Injun.”

 

It takes one word, one name, for Renjun’s short moment of pure happiness to end abruptly. His heart is still pounding, but for different reasons. His eyes are wide and his mouth hung ajar, speechless and completely taken aback, he has no idea what to do from here.

 

“Injun,” Jeno repeats, his voice breathy and shaking, tears forming in the corner of his eyes, threatening to spill over.

 

Renjun takes a deep breath in attempt to get ahold of himself. It doesn’t work, of course it doesn’t work, because Jeno knows now, and everything is over. Renjun was so stupid to think that he had a chance with Jeno. It was so idiotic of him to assume that everything would be okay, that he would be happy and start a new life with his friends. Nothing is that easy. This whole situation is fucked, whatever new friendship he thought he had built with Jeno- hell, even with Jaemin- was based off of lies.

 

 _“_ It’s you,” Jeno whispers, almost inaudible even in their close proximity. A single tear rolls down Jeno’s soft cheek, illuminated green by a traffic light.

 

Renjun doesn’t have to courage to verbally confirm the accusation, all he can manage to offer is a simple nod. Jeno looks like he almost can’t believe it himself, lip quivering and tears streaming down his face at this point.

 

The wind is blowing brutally in his ears, but all he can focus on is the sped up rate of his heartbeat, the dumbfounded look on Jeno’s face, and his own reflection in Jeno’s glossy eyes.

 

Jeno cries harder, although he looks different now, he looks happy again, overjoyed almost. He’s smiling so much that his eyes form into mini crescent moons (more than usual).

 

Jeno tightly embraces him, squeezing Renjun’s skinny body flush against his own, knocking the air out of the smaller boy.  It’s Renjun’s turn to be confused. He expected to be yelled at, hit, maybe even thrown out of the vehicle. Is Jeno not curious about the situation? Is he not questioning Renjun’s credibility?

 

Jeno squeezes Renjun harder, making it even more difficult to breathe. “Jeno…” Renjun tries. “Jeno,” he repeats. “Jeno I can’t breathe.”

 

At that, Jeno pulls away, slowly sinking down back into the car, dragging Renjun along with him. The duo resettle in the back seat. The song has ended, leaving the car silent.

 

“What took you shitheads so long?” Jaemin mumbles, swerving a little.

 

Jeno smirks at Renjun, maintaining eye contact while he responds to Jaemin, “Nothing, babe.”

 

“I remember what you said, and you’re right, drugs are easy to find, so let’s find em’ ladies!”

 

Jeno huffs out a laugh, “Yes, sir!”

 

The two of them look at Renjun with expectant eyes. “Oh- uh… yes-yeah lets uh, let’s do that.”

 

Jaemin turns his attention back to the road, but Jeno keeps his eyes on Renjun. “We’ll talk later,” Jeno promises, leaning closer to Renjun so he can whisper in his ear, “ _Injun_ .” And _oh_ , Renjun could so get use to hearing that again.

  


They’re parked in an alleyway, instructed by Jaemin to ‘stay put’ while he does another pickup for the night. Just barely twenty minutes ago Jeno left with him, returning a while ago with a seemingly runny nose, considering how much he rubbed it and sniffled.

 

Jeno is sitting there, his hands shaking in his lap, leg bouncing almost violently.

 

“How did you meet Jaemin?”

 

The question cuts through the thick silence, startling Renjun. He wonders how truthful he can be, how much he can toy with the line in between bullshit and honesty. Renjun’s never been a great liar though, so he keeps his fingers crossed. “At school.” Short answers are key, if Renjun let’s his mouth run then he’ll inevitably babble out the truth.

 

Jeno nods, “You still go to Crestview? I thought you would’ve moved or something.”

 

“I did, I’m only attending Crestview for the rest of senior year due to Father’s command.”

 

“Ahh that makes sense,” Jeno pauses, mouth agape as if a sudden realization had just hit him. “Oh my god! That actually makes so much sense!”

 

“It...does?”

 

“Yes, I understand now. You’re gone from Crestview for years, and you return but no one really recognizes you or there’s not a whole lot of seniors that have been around that long right? Ok, and then you meet Jaemin, who doesn’t know who you are, and since no one recognizes you, you reinvent yourself as _Ren-_ jun instead of _in-_ jun. You befriend Jaemin and his misfit crew, and then like, you start robbing places and stuff, and one night just you and him hit up my house and then Bam!” Jeno claps his hands together, making Renjun flinch at the sudden noise. “You find out that I’m the one who lives there, and since you’re like a new person now and you don’t want Jaemin to know who you really are, you lie to me too, just Incase I were to slip up and rat you out or something, right?”

 

It takes Renjun a full ten seconds to process Jeno’s words, especially since he’s talking too fast and his words jumble together. When he finally does, he nods slowly. “Yeah- Yeah, yeah. Exactly correct, good one Jeno!” Renjun awkwardly chuckles, fiddling with his fingers. At least it was no longer necessary to lie, Jeno seems to have done that for him.

 

Jeno teasingly pokes Renjun in the shoulder, “You smart bastard, I feel like I was just on an episode of ‘pranked’, like, where the cameras?”

 

Jeno’s hands are shaking and his wide smile hasn’t left his face, his eyes open as wide as possible. He seems so overwhelmed and joyful, but in the creepiest way.  Or, as Jaemin would say, _‘He’s losing his shit’_.

 

Renjun forced out a chuckle, “Yeah… heh.” He clears his throat, searching for a new topic, “When do you uh, think that- that Jaemin will be back? From doing whatever it is that he’s, uh, doing… at the moment.”

 

Jeno shrugs, “I don’t know, doesn’t matter.” He scoots closer to Renjun, shoulders bumping. The shaking in Jeno’s legs and hands intensifies, “We should go do something.” He gasps, “Like a nighttime adventure! Oh my god _yes_ , that’s perfect. Let’s go right now.”

 

“Right now? Like _right now_ right now?”

 

“Yes!” Jeno practically kicks the truck door open, harshly gripping Renjun’s upper arm and yanking him out of the vehicle.

 

It takes Renjun a second to steady himself on his feet, it’s cut short because Jeno is already pulling him in between the crevice separating the Jeep and the brick wall. Once they make it out of the alleyway Renjun attempts to pull his arm out of Jeno’s hold but he doesn’t manage to escape.

 

“Jeno, what are you doing? We can’t just wander off without Jaemin. In fact, it’s probably best we patiently wait for him, or check on him or something, he’s taking a suspicious amount of time.”

 

“What? Nahhhhh, Jaemin is fine,” Jeno reassures. Renjun catches his eye, and even in the dark he can see Jeno’s enlarged pupils.

 

“Are _you_ fine?”

 

“Me?” Jeno points at himself, looking around as if it were possible that Renjun was talking to someone else. “I feel great. Great! I’ll feel even better once we go on our adventure, our super super duper fun adventure. C’mon let’s go let’s go.” Jeno bounces up and down rapidly, lifting the balls of his feet only to slam them back on the ground. Jeno flails his arms before reaching out to grip Renjun once again, impatiently dragging him along.

 

Renjun’s arm hurts from how harsh it’s being pulled, he attempts hopelessly to pull his arm away, getting stuck in some kind of tug of war with his own appendage. “Jeno, stop,” he pleads. “Stop,” Renjun tries again. “STOP.”

 

Renjun plants his feet firmly on the pavement, using his left hand to assist free his trapped arm. With the abrupt loss of the anchor (aka Renjun) begins him, Jeno loses his balance, falling face forward onto the cracked sidewalk.

 

Renjun gasps, covering his eyes to block out the sight of Jeno’s head colliding with the hard ground. With his eyes still covered, Renjun repeats, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Jeno, Jeno I am so sorry I’m so sorry.” Too scared to move his hands and open his eyes, Renjun doesn’t move, afraid of the sight that could be revealed. There’s too many possibilities for Renjun to determine the most likely. Jeno could have cracked his head open and died, or be unconscious, or just be angry at Renjun, none were good. “Just- Just talk to me, say something.”

 

A few seconds pass, a subtle thumping noise reaches Renjun’s ears, it grows louder, more frequent with every second. Jeno releases a muffled choking sound, and Renjun decides he’ll have to face reality at some point. With caution, Renjun let’s his hands fall down at his side, eyelids slowly lifting.

 

There, on the cracked pavement of a city Renjun doesn’t even know the name of, is Jeno, face down, violently trembling, forehead repeatedly colliding with the ground.

 

Renjun identifies Jeno’s predicament as what he assumes is a seizure, so he does the first thing he was taught (by YouTube) to do. Renjun drops to the ground, knees taking all the impact. He unzips his hoodie, messily balling it up and sliding it under Jeno’s head to prevent it from directly hitting the ground again. The next step would be to turn Jeno onto his side, but with the amount of aggressive shaking his upper chest region is doing, Renjun isn’t sure it would be possible for Jeno to remain in any other position other than the one he was currently in.

 

Frightened and improperly educated, Renjun has no other choice than to simply sit back and watch Jeno spasm.

 

Renjun lets his hand hover over Jeno’s back, just barely coming in contact with the fabric covering the skin. He lets his eyes squeeze shut once again, counting the seconds it takes before Jeno’s shaking calms down. It takes thirty ‘Mississippi’s until Jeno is just barely shivering, and another five before he’s stopped completely.

 

Renjun has never seen anyone calm down from a seizure, but he’s almost certain Jeno is suppose to be conscious, and by the looks of it, he’s not. Renjun places his hand more firmly on Jeno’s back, moving the skin underneath In attempt to gain Jeno’s reaction.

 

“Jeno?” He calls out. “Jeno?” Renjun repeats, shaking the teen once more. Jeno doesn’t even twitch, providing absolutely no reaction to Renjun’s attempts. Renjun reaches his two fingers to Jeno’s neck, desperately feeling around for a pulse.

 

There’s nothing, absolutely nothing, not a single beat that Renjun can feel.

 

The air gets caught in Renjun’s throat, and then his vision is blurry, like trying to see through foggy glasses. He’s so overwhelmed and panicked that he doesn’t even feel the fat, wet tears roll down his cheeks.

 

Gripping Jeno by the shoulders, he flips him over, not even bothering to be gentle at this point. It’s a struggle, Jeno’s body feeling ten times heavier.

 

Now that Renjun can see the unconscious boy’s face, it all feels too real. Before, it was like he was watching an emotionally movie, a wall in between himself and reality,  leaving him stuck yelling at the idiotic main character (himself).

 

Jeno’s entire forehead is blaring red, blood gushing from the middle, smearing over the skin surrounding. His jaw is slack, eyes left open and emotionless.

 

Jeno was unmoving and unresponsive. _Dead, he could be dead._ That thought alone is enough to send Renjun into overdrive. He had just watched Jeno die, and it was probably all Renjun’s fault. He had to fix this, in any way he could.

 

Time slows down, and every step Renjun takes towards their vehicle seems to take a century. He’s hyper aware of every shape intake of breath, and shaky exhale that leaves his body. He’s in front of the Jeep in no time, squeezing himself through the crevice of the alleyway to the passenger seat.

 

After he’s swung the door open, he crawls inside, immediately reaching for the cellphone on the middle department, detaching it from the aux cord it’s connected to.

 

His tears flow down his face and drip onto the screen, making Jeno’s lock screen hard to read, but Renjun still sees it, the notifications lining up.

 

           _‘Mother: 6 missed calls’_

_‘Father: 49 missed calls’_

 

There were countless more, but those two stood out the most. Renjun had not only taken Jeno away from his home and family, but he had let him die as well.

 

Renjun wipes the tears off of the screen, clearing the notifications, the sight of them too much to bare right now. As soon as he does though, he wishes he hadn’t. There he is, in his chubby cheek, eight year old glory, hand in hand with Jeno. The two children are laughing, cake and frosting covering Jeno’s hands and face. Renjun never thought a pixelated image could evoke so much emotion from him.

 

He knew what he needed to do.

 

Tapping _‘emergency call’,_ Renjun dials three digits.

 

_“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”_

  
  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  


When Jeno finally comes to, all he can register is the searing pain in his head, overpowering the dull ache in the rest of his body that’ll set in later. He can barely hear anything over the sound of his own head pounding.

 

_Thump._

 

_Thump._

 

_Thump._

 

In the distance there’s screaming yelling, but it sounds so far away, so drowned out. Jeno opens his eyes but it’s still dark, almost near completely black. He doesn’t know where he is or what he was doing last, just that he’s on the hard ground and he’s in pain.

 

Jeno takes a deep, shaky inhale, but his throat is unusually dry. His limbs won’t move. He’s stuck in an unknown place with no recollection of how he got here. The faint yelling grows louder, more clear, yet it still sounds like mumbling to Jeno’s ears.

 

“You fucking idiot! Do you realize what you just did?” The first voice yells.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do,” The second voice replies, desperate. “He was just walking and dragging me and-and then he fell and started shaking and I thought it was just a seizure but he didn’t wake back up and he stopped breathing. He-he,”

 

“I told you to stay in the car!”

 

“I tried to but he left. I didn’t know this would happen, I swear!”

 

“Yeah right. You probably fucking planned this. I know you’re obsessed with him. You lied about why you were at his house that night, I bet you stalking him for _weeks_ and snuck into his house to do god knows what.”

 

“No! It wasn’t anything like that. I would never- I could never kill him.”

 

There’s a long pause, and a siren rings through the silence.

 

“Shit, shit shit shit Renjun grab him, we have to go. Now!”

 

Jeno sees flashes of red and blue, but only for a mere second before his eyes close again, too exhausted to keep them open any longer. The last thing he registers is the feeling of slim fingers pulling at his shoulders.

  
  


-_-

  
  


Renjun knew Jaemin was involved with drugs, suspected that he even sold them for a living, but Renjun had only ever seen him high once. During that time, Renjun had been high as well, but this time was different, more intense, especially since this time Renjun was a spectator rather than a participant.

 

In all honesty, Renjun was terrified of Jaemin in this moment. He had the eyes of a madman as he stared down at Renjun, looking like he wanted nothing more than to strangle the smaller male.

 

“You realize you almost got us fucking arrested, right?”

 

Renjun gulps and nods, pressing himself further back into his seat. They’re at a red light, only a few miles away from the city, but far enough to be safe.

 

“Do you even know what would happen to us? Especially if Jeno actually was dead?”

 

Shakily, Renjun replies, “We’d… We’d go to jail.”

 

“We’d go to _prison._ I thought you were the smart one, but Jeno passes out and suddenly you can’t use your goddamn brain.”

 

“He wasn’t breathing and I…” Renjun trails off, voice barely above a whisper, eyes glossed over as he stares at his lap, shame burning hot at his insides.

 

“ _Panicked_ ,” Jaemin finishes for him. “Of course you did.”

 

Renjun comes to the conclusion that he does _not_ like Jaemin when he’s like this, angry and high. His voice is condescending, and Renjun is trying really hard to hold in his tears and sniffles, knowing it’ll just annoy Jaemin even further.

 

Being on the run with these two was a roller coaster, Renjun never thought such an overused metaphor could fit his situation so well. They made him happy, but they also made him sad and scared. Jaemin was usually charming, charismatic, funny, and comforting when he needed to be. Jeno was sweet, calm, carefree, and great at adapting to his surroundings.

 

Jaemin knew how to get a party started and get people to laugh and enjoy themselves, Jeno knew how to enjoy himself and _‘go with the flow’_ of things. The duo went together so well: Jaemin lead and Jeno followed, a harmony that Renjun had no business trying to be a part of.

 

He shouldn’t intrude, he should have went home days ago. Yet he’s felt more at home than he has in years, no matter how complicated things were between the trio, no matter how much trouble they were getting themselves in, he didn’t _want_ to leave. Even as an enraged and high Jaemin drove them close to an abandoned looking farm, instructing he exit the vehicle and bring unconscious Jeno with him.

 

It was hard getting Jeno’s body out of the Jeep, and if the teen hadn’t awoken for a few seconds earlier then Renjun would still be convinced he was dead. Renjun manages to carry Jeno with his hand around the unconscious boy’s waist, basically dragging him to the barn.

 

The big and chipped red doors are already cracked open, leaving enough of a crevice for Renjun to slide their bodies through.

 

The inside is dark, Renjun can barely see Jaemin’s figure standing feet away due to the lack of light. It smells of pure death in here but there seems to be no livestock. Renjun chooses one of the various stacks of hay next to the wall to place Jeno on. The teen grumbles sleepily and turns to his side, getting a mouthful of hay.

 

Renjun allows himself to giggle, just a bit.

 

Milky lets out a _‘meow’_ as he cuddles into Jeno’s neck. Renjun had almost forgotten about the kitten. He sets a mental reminder to feed the feline first thing tomorrow morning.

 

“Get yourself comfy, I’m gonna go check out the rest of this place.”

 

Renjun’s eyebrows crease and he turns to look at Jaemin, “Just wait until it’s light out tomorrow morning, then we can all go.”

 

Jaemin doesn’t respond, instead he exits the barn without a word. Renjun hopes everything goes back to normal once whatever is in Jaemin’s system fades.

 

_Normal, so this is your new normal, huh?_

 

Renjun supposes it is.

  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  


_Old friends who become new_

_Dreams that become true_

  
  
  


Jeno is screwed, so _so_ screwed, and there’s no one to blame but himself, besides maybe the universe, for infecting him with this incurable disease. His body felt as though it had just been hit by a semi truck, limbs heavy and stinging with excruciating pain. His throat feeling like he had a buffet of sand for breakfast.

 

This is the worst he’s ever felt, and he knows it’s not just from being sick. The very needle pressing into his arm, breaking the soft skin in order to allow his medicine to reach his veins, is the thing making his condition worse. Jeno knows what he’s doing is dangerous, it’s suggested he only take a few of these injections a year, and even then it’s risky. He’s been using a syringe a day. There’s only six left, and he’s not sure he’ll last to take them all.

 

“Jeno?”

 

Jeno jumps at the sound of Renjun calling for him, quickly tossing the syringe to the bottom of the car.

 

“Jeno?” Renjun repeats.

 

“In here,” Jeno responds, voice scratchy and fragile, it hurts just to get those two words out, but he knows with some water and a few minutes to let the drugs kick in he’ll be back to functioning in no time.

 

Renjun approaches the vehicle, knocking on the glass window of the back seat and signaling for Jeno to come out. Jeno unlocks the door, pushing it open with his foot.

 

“Hey,” Renjun starts, concerned eyes locking with Jeno’s. “How are you feeling?”

 

Jeno swallows, debating the question in his mind. _How are you feeling_ , not ‘are you okay?’, it was too easy to give a false response to that question. Plus they both knew the answer to that, none of them were really feeling okay, otherwise they wouldn’t have run away in the first place. But, how was Jeno feeling? He could answer seriously, tell Renjun about his worsening condition and all his worries, or he could shrug it off, complain about something less serious.

 

The way Renjun is looking at him makes guilt pang in his chest. Renjun cared, _actually_ cared, and that made Jeno even more appreciative of the boy. So, with a forced painful chuckle he responds, “Like I haven’t been near water in years.”

 

“Dehydration?” Renjun supplies. “That’s as expected. There’s a house up the hill that I’m pretty sure Jaemin snuck into last night. I think we should go up there and check it out, I’m sure they’ll have a beverage for you.”

 

Jeno nods, “Sounds great.”

  
  
  


They’ve been walking uphill for three minutes straight, and Jeno feels like his legs might give out at any moment. If Renjun notices, he says nothing.

 

“I haven’t been able to find Milky all morning,” Renjun admits, breaking the silence.

 

“He might be with Jaemin.”

 

“Yeah,” Renjun agrees, though he sounds doubtful. “I hope so.”

 

Jeno, no matter how much he loves cats, can’t bring himself to particularly care about the felines absence at the moment. There are more urgent worries in the forefront of his mind, like the increasingly numbing cramp forming in his knee, almost making him buckle and fall a few times.

 

Wordlessly, Renjun slides his arm around the struggling teen’s waist, pulling him close for support. The cramp is still there, but the extra help is highly appreciated.

 

“Thanks,” Jeno says simply, not having the energy to fully express his gratitude; but really, Renjun is _such_ a sweetheart. “Hey uh, what happened last night? My memory is a little clouded.”

 

Now that Jeno thinks about it, he has no idea where they are or how they got there. When he had awakened surrounded by hay, his body was in too much pain to question anything, albeit the crusted blood on his forehead .

 

Renjun takes in a sharp breath. It takes him a few moments to answer, “We pulled into an alleyway, you and Jaemin entered an apartment building. You came back alone, acting outlandish.

  


They manage to make it the rest of the way up the hill, an old yellow house with chipped paint behind decently long driveway, surrounded by a jagged wooden fence awaits them. Renjun pushes open the gate with his free hand, guiding Jeno to the entrance of the home. With mild struggle, the duo make it up the two steps attached to the white porch and to the front door.

 

“There’s three locks on the door,” Renjun announces. “and from the looks of it, all three are in use. So if Jaemin is in here, he found a different entrance.”

 

Jeno nods in agreement, raising his fist up to knock, waiting for Renjun’s approval first. Surprisingly, Renjun wraps his hand around Jeno’s, pushing it forward so they can knock together. Their fists collide with the old birch wood a total of five times, and when they’re hands drop back down Renjun intertwines them.

 

The warmth of Renjun’s tiny hands are comforting, and maybe if they weren’t in such a questionable and situation then the simple gesture would make him feel safe.

 

There’s so many inquiries bouncing around in Jeno’s brain, so many loose ends to what’s happening right now. Why had Jaemin even left? Why did he to this house? Why were _all_ of them here, in this location, at this time? What was even the point of attempting to enter the home if they had no reason to believe Jaemin was here other than because it was nearby?

 

“Usually I’m the nervous one,” Renjun says, sensing and empathizing Jeno’s current state.

 

“Role reversal,” Jeno jokes. Renjun blushes, looking away and straightening his back when the locks on the door start to twist.

 

The door slowly creaks open to reveal a kind looking man who looks to be in his thirties. He’s wearing overalls covered in faded dark brown stains and big tam boots. The flannel he has on really adds to the stereotypical _country boy_ look _._

 

“Hello, boys,” The man greets. “We been waitin’ for ya’. C’mon in.” He steps aside to allow the two teens entrance.

 

Renjun and Jeno share a look. Surprisingly, Renjun takes the first step forward, and of course, Jeno follows behind him. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teehee it’s been another month life has been horrible and it’s hard to type with my acrylics. I was gonna make this chapter like 10000+ words but I decided to cut it in the middle bc ive been getting so much attention on this recently so I ddinr wanna make y’all wait any longer.


	12. 12 | Renjun , Jaemin, Donghyuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey ladies. Another cliff hanger sowwy. Also I goofed Hyuck is fifteen he’s younger than everyone else and make is nineteen

>   
> 

It seemed like nowadays every decision Renjun makes is a risk. Unpredictable outcomes still scared the daylights out of Renjun, but he needed to be strong for Jeno, who didn’t have strength of his own. That’s why he had taken the sick boy’s hand and led him into an unfamiliar habitat.

 

The inside of the home is cozy, there’s a fire burning in the living room fireplace, deer heads hanging above it. The aroma of sweet meat fills the air.

 

“I’m Kun,” the man introduces, offering a small bow and polite smile before he points his hands to the left.. “Your friend’s in the kitchen.”

 

The creaky wooden floor turns into white and blue tile as they enter the kitchen and dining room. Renjun curses himself for only wearing weird black socks that hug each of his individual toes, he hopes no one calls him out for it.

 

“Finally, you guys took forever,” Jaemin laughs, voice half muffled as he devours what Renjun assumes is some kind of meat. Renjun looks up from his feet, relieved that Jaemin is not in a sour mood, he’s wearing new clothes, looking freshly bathed. There’s a young man seated next to Jaemin, he waves briefly.

 

Kun pulls out the two chairs opposite to Jaemin and the other man, “Please, take a seat.”

 

Renjun lets his hand fall free from Jeno’s so he can seat himself, Jeno does the same. “You boys can go ahead and make yourselves at home,” Kun turns to the nameless man. “Tae, serve these young gentlemen a plate while I go take care of some business.”

 

“Okay papa,” Tae says, collecting Jaemin’s dirty plate and making his way to the other side of the kitchen. Then, Kun is stomping out the door.

 

Jaemin leans back, resting his head on his overlapped palms. “I fuckin’ love it here, man. I stumbled in here last night and they bathed me and gave me a bed and everything, no questions asked. And they were ecstatic when they found out you guys were here too.”

 

“They seem nice,” Jeno comments.

 

“They’re fucking amazing.”

 

Renjun’s eyes flicker to Tae for a moment to make sure he isn’t tuning in on the conversation. “Are you sure about that? I’m a bit skeptical.”

 

“Shocker,” Jaemin remarks.

 

“No, seriously. Majority of normal civilians wouldn’t be this welcoming to an intruding stranger, think about it.”

 

Jaemin rolls his eyes, “They’ve treated me fantastically, there ain’t no reason to assume shit.” Jaemin finishes off his sentence by loudly sipping the rest of his lemonade.

 

Renjun jumps at the sound of porcelain colliding with wood and Tae places two plates in front of him and Jeno. There’s corn, biscuits coated in gravy, and in the center red and shiny sweet smelling meat. Tae places two forks in the middle.

 

“Eat up,” Tae instructs, seating himself once again. Jeno immediately stuffs his face.

 

Kun enters the kitchen, taking the only available seat at the end of the table closest to his son and Jeno. He stares directly at Renjun, who has yet to pick up his fork. He raises his brow at the teen, and Renjun feels pressured into taking the first bite.

 

Renjun picks up his utensil with his dominant hand,  stabbing it into the strange meat. He feels eyes on him as he lets the juicy meat touch his tongue. Slowly, he clasps his teeth around the fork, sliding down to obtain the food inside his mouth. He lets it sit there for a moment before chewing. It’s spicy, yet somehow sweet, and Renjun still has no idea what it is, but admittedly it was well cooked.

 

“How’s it?” Kun asks, eager for Renjun’s feedback.

 

“Uh…” Renjun tries to find the appropriate words. “Pleasantly strange and well seasoned.”

 

This brings a smile to Kun’s face.  “I’m delighted tuh’ hear that.”

 

Renjun takes another bite, realizing how hungry he had been all morning. “What, uhm, what is it, though?”

 

Kun laughs, “Just from some trespassin’ animal, don’t worry, it ain’t human or nothin’.”

 

This eases Renjun, and he takes yet another bite. It feels so good when the food hits his belly, a pleasant burn. Soon, he’s shoving handfuls of corn in his mouth to accompany the meat, and he completely devours the biscuit.

 

Jaemin and Jeno stare at him with wide eyes. “Damn, Renjun,” Jaemin hollers, clapping his hands. Renjun chokes on his last piece of biscuit, throwing him into a coughing fit. Jeno pats his back, rubbing it comfortingly once Renjun settles down.

 

Silence settles over the room, leaving only the subtle sound of Jeno chewing. Kun clears his throat, “so what brought you boys all the way down here? I can tell yer’ not familiar with the area.”

 

Jaemin speaks up first. “We’re on a road trip around the states,” he lies.

 

Kun nods slowly, leaning forward on his elbows, staring straight at Jaemin. “So then why were yuh’ on my land? It’s not exactly a tourist site.”

 

Jaemin shrugs, “it was the closest place to sleep, we didn’t mean to intrude.” Renjun is thankful Kun chose to openly question them all rather than target him, his poor lying skills would have gotten them caught.

 

“Y’all aren’t in any trouble are yuh’?” Kun’s eyes fly to Jeno, specifically to the dried blood on his forehead. The air turns eerie, and Renjun’s anxiety makes itself known.

 

_There onto us. We’re going to get caught. This is it._

 

Jeno shakes his head, offering a nervous smile, “No, sir. This,” he points at his head, “happened on the way here.”

 

“Ah.” Kun nods, licking his thumb, “Well don’t worry.” He reaches towards Jeno’s wound to wipe at the crusted blood there before placing his thumb back in his mouth to lick away what it collected. “I can fix that right up.”

  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  


Donghyuck saw him, the very face that had haunted him ever since it appeared on the news. In the flesh and bone, there stood Lee Jeno, the young rich internet star that had the entire state searching for him, and the whole world slowly tuning in on his absence. He went missing barely a week ago, due to the hands of someone Donghyuck used to trust.

  


_“Evidence points towards seventeen year old Na Jaemin, a troubled foster child that was notorious for theft, who had gone missing the same night as Jeno. Authorities believe the teen had stumbled upon Mr. Lee’s property while intoxicated with motive of a burglary, only to find out the home belonged to the famous child actor. A syringe with an unknown substance was found on the floor in the kitchen, it is believed to have held a drug Jaemin may have used to render Jeno immobile. The reason for the kidnapping is unknown, along with the current whereabouts of the two teens. More and more people are being alerted of the situation and CoreNews will always be the first to provide updates. Stay tuned.”_

  


When Donghyuck first heard it he was shocked, put in a state of disbelief. Jaemin hadn’t been at school in days, and _this_ was why. It didn’t make any sense, there was no reason for Jaemin to hold someone hostage, and he had never been known to harm anyone besides Mark (with good reasoning, Hyuck now realizes).

 

Over the course of the past week more and more information had been released about the kidnapping, Donghyuck wrote down all the details he could. The news is on again, Hyuck prepares his notebook.

 

_“Blood found in the abandoned Mercedes that Na Jaemin used as a getaway vehicle after breaking in to Lee Jeno’s home does not match up with either of the two missing teens. Authorities believe that Na has a partner in crime that assisted with the abduction and various other crimes that were committed over the last few days. Police have already identified a suspect. Rumor has it, it’s another student who attended the same high school as Na and was a known associate with the criminal has also been absent from his daily activities.”_

 

Donghyuck knows who it is, he saw him- the three of them together- but he doesn’t want to believe it. It feels like a dream, some kind of sick hallucination he had. Renjun, Jaemin, and Jeno, hurriedly exiting the market, shoulder to shoulder with each other as they ran with their stolen goods. The memory is vivid in his mind, he can still feel what he felt at the time, feet glued to the ground, goosebumps arising on his bare arms. He can’t believe something like that would even happen in the small town Johnny lives in    

 

The police arrived shortly after to question him and the cashier. He could of told them, he could of helped Jeno, maybe saved Jeno from the dangers of two people he use to trust. His naive brain denied the possibility that Renjun and Jaemin were capable of all the things the news accused them of. Jeno hadn’t looked scared or in need of help, and Donghyuck took that as a good enough reason to remain in denial.

 

“Hyuck?” A hand falls on his shoulder, giving a comforting squeeze. “Are you watching the news about that boy again?”

 

Hyuck doesn’t answer, eyes to the floor. Big hands cradle his face and tilt it upwards so he is forced to meet Johnny’s eyes. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been keeping up with everything about this story, you’re practically obsessed with it.” Johnny speaks softly with no judgement, and Donghyuck knows he cares, which only makes the shame burn hotter in his belly.

 

Donghyuck doesn’t want to hide it anymore, he’s been _dying_ to tell someone, and he knows Johnny won’t hurt him. “I saw him,” he confesses.

 

“Saw who?” The older male asks, grabbing at both of Donghyuck’s hands and rubbing them.

 

“Jeno. Jeno and Jaemin.” He decides to leave Renjun out, for now.

 

“When?”

 

“At the grocery store, they were the ones- the ones that stole.”

 

Johnny sighs, “Why didn’t you report them, Hyuck?”

 

Donghyuck frowns, of course Johnny, a responsible and well raised adult, would want Donghyuck to tattle. “I don’t really know, I just- I just didn’t think Jaemin would ever do something like this- hurt someone like that.” He had told Johnny about Jaemin’s conflict with Mark, but he hadn’t told him he was referring to the same Jaemin that was on the news.

 

“Oh Hyuck, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize that was the him, I wouldn’t have said that if I knew.”

 

“It’s okay, Johnny,” Hyuck says, offering a small tight-lipped smile that shows his dimples. “I just don’t know what to do, ya know?”

 

Johnny pulls Donghyuck close, encircling his arms around the smaller boy, waiting a minute before speaking. “I think we should talk to the police.”

 

 _We,_ Johnny said we, he hadn’t been angry at Donghyuck, hadn’t even raised his voice or used a negative tone. Johnny is a real catch, and he isn’t sure how he managed to luck out like this. Donghyuck almost wants to cry, surrounded by Johnny’s warmth, he realizes what kind of good treatment he didn’t get with Mark.

 

“I-I don’t know, I don’t think I can, Johnny.” Donghyuck’s voice is muffled by the fabric of Johnny’s button up, so the older man pulls back.

 

“Whatever you decide to do, I will be there to support you, you know that, right? You’re only fifteen, something like this is too big to let be a burden. ”

 

He nods, sniffling as he plays with the hem of Johnny’s shirt. Hyuck is struck with an idea, a very ridiculous one, but he knows Johnny won’t judge him. “Let’s find them ourselves.”

 

Johnny pulls back even further, so he can really get a good look at the teen, his eyebrow raised. Donghyuck expects him to completely reject the idea, not for Johnny to say, “I’m listening.”

 

Hyuck takes a deep breath. “Okay, so it’s been about six days since he was ‘abducted,’ and they still haven’t found him. There has to be something the police aren’t realizing. Jaemin does things recklessly, not planned. The police are looking for connections, things that make sense- reasoning in order to predict his next move. But they don’t know him, they don’t know that Jaemin has no reasoning.” He stands up grabbing his notebook and pencil from the couch.  “I believe I can find them faster.”

 

 

  
  
  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  


No one ate after that, complete silence taking over the room as the three teens stare in shock, trying to comprehend the gesture. Renjun feels his stomach twist as the taste of the unknown meat lingers on his tongue. At this point, he doesn’t even want to know what he consumed.

 

Kun is staring at Jeno, with an indescribable expression. His eyes are dark, chin lowered as an evil grin graces his features. Tae clears his throat, “Dad, shouldn’t we be cleaning up and getting ready to show our guests the way out.” He lacks the same country accent his dad has, and he speaks with his lips tight as he impatiently bounces his leg.

 

“Not so soon, Yongie,” Kun says. “I’m sure these lovely gentlemen would like tuh’ clean themselves up befur’ they leave, maybe even get some rest. How does that sound, boys?”

 

Renjun automatically looks at Jaemin, the decision maker of the group. Jaemin’s eyes meet his, eyebrow quirked up in question.

 

“Sounds good to me,” Jaemin says, jumping up from his seat. “We’ll be upstairs, then.”

As they walk off, Kun shouts, “We’ll getcha some new clothes, they’ll be waiting for ya on the bed in the room next to the bathroom.”

  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin isn’t dumb, he knows very well that they’re not in a safe place, but he plans on taking advantage of all the things he can here before he leaves. “We shouldn’t separate,” He whispers once they get to the top of the stairs. “Clean yourselves up and then we’re out of here.”

 

Renjun nods, “for once you’re thinking logically, keep it up and we might just have to switch places.”

 

Jaemin chuckles, standing still at the top of the staircase. “Yeah right, you don’t do nearly as many illegal things as me.” Renjun also doesn’t have nearly as much sex, in fact Jaemin is pretty sure Renjun is a Virgin, but he’ll tease him about that later.

 

Renjun fake gasps, “Excuse me sir, but I skipped the first day of school to smoke marijuana; which is an illegal drug.”

 

Jaemin laughs, looking at Renjun fondly. This is a rare occurrence, Renjun hardly ever lets himself laugh, let alone make a decent joke, Jeno notices too.

 

The three of them make it into the bathroom, Jaemin winces when the worn down wooden floor gives him a splinter. He sits on the toilet seat, inspecting his mildly injured foot.

 

“Why are you still in here, creep? You already showered, it’s Renjun and I’s turn.”

 

He rolls his eyes, “As you can see, I have a boo boo in my foot that needs immediate care. Don’t be so heartless, Jeno.”

 

“Whatever,” Jeno grumbles, locking the door and turning the bath’s knob for hot water. He unbuttons his silky blue pajama top, discarding the dirtied fabric on to the floor. “I think you just want to see us naked.”

 

Jaemin shrugs, deciding not to argue. When his eyes meet Renjun’s his playful smirk drops. The boy looks uncomfortable, to say the least. His arms are stiff at his sides, legs glued shut.

 

“Am I- do you want me to-“

 

Jaemin cuts him off before he starts to ramble, “Not if you don’t want to, of course. This isn’t some peer pressure shit, you can turn around and wait for Jeno to be done, or…” He trails off, suggestive.

 

“You can join me,” Jeno finishes for him, seating his own bare body inside the half filled tub. Raising a brow and leaning back he says, “So?”

 

Renjun visibly gulps, fists clenching at his sides. Jaemin can practically hear his panicked thoughts. He rolls his eyes, deciding that fuck it, he can bathe twice in one day. Jaemin slides his shirt off, placing it safely in the dry sink along with his bottoms. He steps out of his boxers without a second thought, picking them up the fling them at Renjun’s face. “Get in the tub, dork.”

  
  


\

  
  


Jaemin’s eyes sting strongly from the soap that has been flicked into them, shutting his eyes soothed the intense burn, but he doesn’t want to risk missing a single second of the scene being displayed right before him. He can’t get enough of the sight: Renjun’s body folded to fit the three of them inside the tiny space, brown hair drenched, almost covering his eyes that are squeezed shut, mouth wide open to display his perfect and shiny teeth, hiccuping when he struggles to breathe in the midst of his laughter.

 

Jeno’s black hair fling droplets everywhere as he obnoxiously shakes his head around. The water is overflowing passed the rim, making a puddle on the floor next to the porcelain bath.

 

Renjun Is shaking as he giggles. Jaemin missed that joyful sound, he hasn’t heard it since the first night he spent with Renjun, and _god_ it’s so relieving to hear. It had taken days, but Renjun is finally letting Jaemin take a peek at the real him again. Jaemin is struck with the sudden realization that he’s only known this boy for two weeks, Jeno for even shorter, and yet he couldn’t see himself with anyone else. He could never go back to his old life, no matter how smelly and dirty he got from lack of hygiene, or how bad his neck hurt from sleeping in the car, or on cheap motel beds (Okay he was exaggerating a bit, he had only spent one night in a cheap motel since it was the closest place and Jeno’s credit card had been frozen, and he had only napped in the car, but three nights in a row on high quality mattresses had spoiled him rotten.)

 

So much yet so little has happened in his time knowing these two boys. He feels so connected to them despite hardly knowing anything about them. Time was running out, Jeno’s condition was getting noticeably worse and Jaemin knew they were on a run. The night he had taken Jeno out on a date, when Jeno and Renjun were asleep he had went to get some snacks down in the lobby. The television was on in the main room.

  


_“Seventeen year old Na Jaemin has been confirmed as the man responsible for the abduction of child star Lee Jeno. Na is known for many occasions of local theft. Authorities believe he grew bored of inanimate objects and decided to move onto something with flesh. It won’t be long until Na is arrested and thrown into prison for the rest of his life like he deserves.”_

 

_The lady continues to talk, but Jaemin’s can no longer hear it as his ears ring. His most recent mugshots are displayed on the screen. He looks like a murderer, and the way they talk about him makes him seem like he is. Like this, he resembles his father the most._

  


Jaemin feels an onslaught of cool liquid wash over his face, Laughter following after. His vision is blurry, but he still manages to get revenge. Cupping both of his hands, he used the force of his arms to make a big wave collide with his competition.

 

Jeno gasps, attempting to tackle Jaemin, though given the small space, it’s more like a forceful hug. “Junnie, help!” Jaemin cries out. There’s hardly any water left at this point, so he has no other option than to request assistance.

 

Renjun giggles, reaching his terrifyingly skinny arms -seriously why is Renjun so skinny - out to wrap around Jeno’s waist, pulling him back. Jeno lets it happen, leaning back and letting his head rest in between Renjun’s neck and shoulder. “Fine, I surrender.”

 

Jaemin places his palms on both sides of the porcelain tub, lifting himself to his knees to tower over the two boys. He makes intense eye contact with Jeno, trying to focus on his eyes rather than the unhealthily pale, almost green, skin exposed. “So then what do I, the victor, receive as a reward?”

 

Jeno bites his lip, spreading his legs for Jaemin to fit easier. “Anything you want.”

 

Jaemin very much likes where this is going, and two weeks ago he would have taken this opportunity to add Jeno to his list of _“virginities I’ve taken”,_ even with Renjun sitting right there. They deserve better though, they’re more than quick lays, names to add to lists, and Jaemin knows this.

 

Jaemin leans down to peck the corner of Jeno’s lips, slowly leaving wet kisses down to the base of his neck, feeling Jeno shiver underneath him, all while staring into Renjun’s wide eyes. When he’s finished the task, he rests his chin on Jeno’s shoulder, using two fingers to gently pull Renjun’s face closer, his other hand blindly wandering Jeno’s smooth torso.

 

For the second time, his mouth collides with Renjun’s, enjoying the soft, thin lips as they push against his. Renjun is still very inexperienced, so Jaemin settles for leaving long pecks, briefly separating in between each kiss. Jaemin decides that he’s satisfied with just this, slow pecks, for now, and he can wait as long as they need him to for anything more.

 

Jaemin leans back against the porcelain to admire his boys. _His boys, yeah._ They looks so pretty like this, bare, holding each other, hair dripping and lips swollen.

 

Jaemin never thought he’d _‘L-word’_ anyone after what happened with the Keyh family, and he still doesn’t want to admit the possibility, but he knows there’s no other explanation for the way the two of them make him feel. There’s so much he needs to tell them, about himself, his mistakes, warn them almost- but they’re all a bit troubled; running away from they’re problems together. Though it isn’t necessary because he trusts the two, he wants to know about their problems, their baggage, in hopes that they’ll accept his. And what better time than now?

 

“I have a son.”

 

Renjun stops giggling to blink at Jaemin, Jeno doesn’t look up from the small amount of dirtied water that's left in the tub.

 

“Or a daughter, I don’t know,” He clarifies.

 

“Oh,” Renjun gapes. “That was a… quite random confession.”

 

Renjun is cautious with his reaction, something that makes Jaemin feel even more unsure than he already was. “I know, I just wanted to tell you guys, since I never told anyone.”

 

“Have you…” Jeno starts.

 

“Met it? No. I’m not allowed to.” Jaemin presses his lips together.

 

“Why not?” Renjun questions.

 

“The mom was my- my uh…” Jaemin hesitates, knowing how wrong the truth might sound. “She was my sister- foster sister, we weren’t related. When her stepfather found out he sent me to a new home. That’s how I ended up at Crestview, eventually.”

 

Jeno is shocked, “I didn’t know you were a foster kid.” The next question comes out without much thought, but Jaemin had already prepared for it; “What happened to your parents?”

 

Jaemin doesn’t expect Renjun to answer for him, “That’s a very personal question. Maybe we should discuss this when he’s ready, and when we’re clothed.” Renjun offers him a smile that he gladly returns.

 

Jeno shrugs, “Okay, but Jaemin has to go get our clothes, since he has some already.”

 

Jaemin rolls his eyes, lifting himself up and ignoring how Renjun covers his eyes when he’s eye level with Jaemin’s dick. “Whatever ding dong, I’ll be back in a minute.”

 

He winces at the gross feeling of his wet wrinkled feet touching the dry and dirty ground. Quickly, he puts his socks and undies on, deciding to do the rest later.

 

“You’re going out like _that,_ ” Jeno pretends to judge.

 

“Yes I am,” Jaemin declares proudly. “If the creepy old fuck is to see my sexy, young body in his whitey-tighties ,then so be it!”

 

Jaemin exits the bathroom with his front facing Jeno and Renjun, slowly closing the door as to savor the sight of the two boys for a few seconds longer. He hardly registers the chipped door in front of him before his vision goes black, ears ringing from the impact.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s dark when he opens his eyes again, and his head is pounding in his ears. Drowned out, he heard familiar cries of his name. He groans, trying to lift his head, neck aching. He’s standing up, he notices, weight supported by the rope tied to his wrists, bare tippy toes barely touching the ground. His socks are gone but his groin is thankfully still covered.

 

_“Jaemin.”_

 

His name is called out again, the voice is desperate and high pitched yet muffled.

 

There’s a creak, then dull blue light. It’s only there for a second, maybe three, just long enough for Jaemin to see his face.

 

_Jeno: On the ground, limbs tied together tightly, struggling against his restraints as he cries._

 

Then the light is gone.

  
  


“I hope you boys’ don’t mind if I join the fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t kill me. I need to add more sappy moments. Also update on my life I found myself a boo omg yay. If u have any requests or questions or jsut wanna yell at me you can contact me on Instagram @cjskay. I love ur comments eeee I realized I kinda strayed a lot from my original outline and plan and that I forgot about some key characteristics so I’ve been rereading my fic, I’ve been writing inconsistently for months so I forget details I’m sowwy. This fic is almost done. Ok bye


	13. 13 | Johnny, Renjun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lol don’t kill me also ik Jeno is dying and the reason they ran away but keep in mind Renjun is kinda the main character :P enjoy this un proof read content, I can’t wait any longer to post. Also my italics won’t work but there’s flashbakcs

It was a goose chase, really. If the police couldn’t find these boys, no way Donghyuck could. It was cute to see him try, though. He’d been writing in his notebook all day, watching different channels and videos for clues on the case. Admittedly it was a bit concerning, how much he was able to gather about the kidnapping from just the internet, and they had no way of knowing what was true or not.

 

Donghyuck was troubled, Johnny knew that. He spent most of his life in an  abusive home, his only escape had been to enter an abusive relationship. Johnny wanted to look after the boy, care for him in ways everyone else neglected to; in a brotherly way, to clarify. He had no romantic interest in the fifteen year old, but it was obvious Hyuck thought otherwise. Hyuck wanted to be loved, and Johnny would love him- just not like that.

 

Johnny approaches the teen, resting his large palms over Donghyuck’s tiny shoulders. “What’cha got so far, kiddo?”

 

“Okay so the last place I saw them was at the grocery store by your parents house,” Donghyuck starts, looking up at Johnny. Johnny nods, the grocery store was, in fact, by the house he inherited from his parents .”Jeno’s card declined at a place not to far from there. The police were called and blood found on the concrete matches Jeno’s, but there’s no body found anywhere nearby the site. Jeno is still alive, he has to be. They can’t be to far from where we last saw them, it looks like they’re heading further into the country. Knowing Jaemin he probably found an old farm house or broke into some old couple’s home or something.”

 

“So we have a rough estimate of where they could be?”

 

Hyuck nods, “I just don’t understand how the police haven’t found them, if they were really looking they would have caught Jaemin by now. Especially since Jeno’s parents are loaded, you’d think they’d be a lot more serious.”

 

Johnny shrugs, “It could be a publicity stunt. You said so yourself that Jeno didn’t look like he was in danger, maybe his parents are paying the press and police to just go along with it.”

 

Donghyuck sighs, defeated. “I don’t know, this is all so confusing. I guess that would make sense but why would he be with Renjun and Jaemin? Neither have them have ever talked about Jeno.”

 

“I guess we’ll just have to find that out.”

 

“Yeah, I guess.”

  
  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  
  


Renjun and Jeno go silent, unmoving. Lowly, Jeno whispers, “What was that?”

 

Renjun shrugs, bringing a finger to his lips to silence Jeno. He listens.

 

There’s one more high pitched bang! That echoes, sounding like a drum. Then Renjun can hear friction, like a loud sliding.

 

Renjun breath catches in his throat, Jeno’s question repeating in his mind, “What was that?”

 

Jeno gets up before Renjun can stop him. “Jaemin?” He calls out.

 

Renjun’s heart jumps, he scrambles to his feet and covers Jeno’s mouth. The floor outside the bathroom creaks, signaling someone approaching. A shadow makes itself known under the large gap at the bottom of the door.

 

Thinking quick, Renjun jumps out of the bathtub, sliding his way across the floor to reach the exit, locking it and pressing his naked body flush against it. The handle shakes once, twice, then stops.

 

Renjun takes in a deep, shaky breath. He knows whoever is out there is aware of their presence, and Renjun and Jeno can’t hide in the bathroom forever. It’s obvious Jaemin isn’t okay, he wouldn’t pull a prank like this. Would he? Renjun doesn’t really know, because he doesn’t really know Jaemin, but he trusts that Jaemin wouldn’t try to scare the duo when they already felt unsafe enough.

 

Again, Jeno calls out, “Jaemin?”

 

Renjun doesn’t even attempt to silently scold him. There’s a long creak, and this time Renjun can’t see under the door for a silhouette. Renjun presses his body harder against the door, taking in a deep breath and holding it. He listens in, for another creak, footsteps, anything signaling someone’s approach. There’s nothing, and he finally lets out his breath, taking hardly one step away from the door.

 

He looks at Jeno, now, offering a soft half smile. This does nothing to visibly calm Jeno down, and Renjun never thought he’d be the less panicked one. Jeno’s eyebrows are creased downwards, his arms wrapped tightly around himself as he shivers. They’re both naked, Renjun notes.

 

There’s one towel in the room, albeit probably not the cleanest. Renjun makes a reach for it, wrapping it around Jeno’s shoulders like a cape. Jeno seems to appreciate it, his frown turning into a tight lipped smile.

 

Renjun lets out another long exhale, stepping back and controlling his nerves before they can get out of control. Him and Jeno are stuck in a bathroom, wet and naked, Jaemin is god knows where and there’s weird noises coming from outside, and they’re in a strangers house in the middle of nowhere. But it’ll be fine, because Jaemin will come back and it’ll all be fine.

 

Renjun lets himself relax against to door, spreading his fingers out and shutting his eyes. Everything would be fine.

 

And then everything wasn’t fine.

  


The wooden door behind him starts to chip after something hits it from the other side, causing Renjun’s body to jolt. There’s another swing, thud, and crack, and wood lodges itself into Renjun,momentarily immobilizing him. And on the third one a sharp, searing pain crawls through Renjun’s entire body as an unknown object cuts through his skin.

 

His entire body tenses, mouth falling open with a loud cry. He can’t see anything. There’s hands wrapped around his dainty arms, pulling him forward but he barely registers it, pain taking over. His knees collide with the floor, Jeno is screaming and the sound of breaking wood is louder than ever. Renjun is so overwhelmed. His heart is racing and his back burns like he’s never felt before.

 

Renjun forced his eyes open, award that if he were to keep squirming in pain he would not have time to think of a solution. Looking back at the horrendous door reveals to him the sight of axe cutting desperately through the old wood piece by piece.

 

The loud slap of skin rings through Renjun’s ear, overpowering the axe. Jeno is laid next to him, mouth wide open and body unmoving. Ah yes, a fearful fainter, Renjun remembers the various occasions in which he witnessed Jeno’s forced unconscious state. This almost makes Renjun laugh, he chuckles softly, but it comes out as more of a whine.

 

He’s screwed, in a pickle, pooped, and any other synonym for absolutely fucked. Jeno, his only assistance to escape the lunatic from the other side of the door, is passed out; useless, helpless.

 

Renjun attempts to lift himself up, forearms first, but his shoulder slams into a cabinet, knocking him to the ground once again. It hurts, yes, but it gives him an idea that might just save his life. He glances at the door, that now has a hole big enough for someone to poke their entire head through, then to Jeno’s unconscious body, then back to the cabinet.

 

He has a choice to make, but not enough time to ponder. He either does this, abandoning his first love, or doesn’t, joining Jeno in (pretty much) certain death.

 

Renjun swings open the small entrance, pulling his body forward and folding it to fit into the tiny space. His body is compressed and cramped, twisted and contorted to squeeze inside the cabinet. The sink pipe is digging into his side, but that’s the least of his worries at the moment. He grabs the tiny door by the edge, quickly swinging it shut and moving his fingers to avoid smashing them.  

 

His breathing is quick and heavy, too loud to be subtle. He presses his lips hard against the bare skin of his knee, as to enclose the sound in the dome of his mouth and silence it.

 

The harsh noise of wood breaking comes to a halt. It’s silent for a few moments. Then, he can hear the door unlock, handle slowly twist, and the door creaks open.

  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  


They ended up taking a flight all the way up here. Johnny’s inherited house is too far to drive in one day, and Hyuck didn’t want to wait any longer. They hopped on the first flight and had been driving home since. It’s around 10 am. Johnny is exhausted, but Donghyuck couldn’t be more impatient and eager.

 

“Okay, so look at this,” Donghyuck demands, placing down a large sheet of paper on to Johnny’s dining table. He has to hold down the corner to prevent the paper from curling in on itself.

 

It seems to be a map, with a series of dots connected to each other with short descriptions. “I was able to find a site that shows the traffic lights camera footage nearby, and there aren’t many but the vehicle they left the grocery store in was last seen here,” Donghyuck points to one of the dots. “That’s the last time they’ve passed any lights, meaning there’s only a few paths they could have taken to avoid any more. They have to be within a twenty mile radius of,” Donghyuck grabs a red pen from his back pocket, circling an area, “here.”

 

He looks up, making enthusiastic eye contact. “Johnny, we can find them today.” He’s smiling, a breathtaking sight, and yet it makes Johnny feel extremely bittersweet. Johnny could indulge in Hyuck’s optimistic goose chase if it meant he’d stay smiling like that; but it wouldn’t last long. By the end of the night, when the two of them return to Johnny’s home empty handed, Donghyuck will feel defeated. Or even worse: he won’t, he’ll continue his endless conquest for eternity.

 

“Okay, Angel. Use the bathroom and pack up some food, we’ll start looking for them in ten minutes. And-“ And if we don’t find them, he wants to say. He holds his tongue instead. Addressing the very likely possibility of not finding Hyuck’s friends feels like telling a five year old Santa isn’t real. It’s too soon, too harsh. “And in two days you’ll all be back at school.”

 

Johnny isn’t given a response, just the sight of Hyuck’s faded red hair bouncing as he makes his way to the bathroom.

 

That kid will be the death of him.

  
  
  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  
  


Renjun doesn’t know how long it’s been. Maybe an hour, maybe three, who knows. He can no longer fully function his body, it’s buzzing, a tickling sensation that alerts him that his leg and arm are in fact, asleep. Well at least they’re sleeping, cause it doesn’t look like I will for a while.

 

He’s not sure if he should leave or not. It’s not like he can stay hiding here forever, they would find him eventually and by then his lovers would already be dead.

 

 _My_ lovers.

 

He wonders what Jaemin would do in this situation, Jaemin was always kinda the leader of the group, always making the decisions and taking the lead. Maybe Jaemin would know what to do, maybe he would have gotten the three of them out of here already. Renjun isn’t so sure though. Jaemin is an amazing being that Renjun is lucky to have met, he knows how to make someone laugh and loosen up, he can charm just about anyone, and he always knows how to get out of sticky situations. Well, correction: he knows how to get himself out of sticky situations - That was the problem - Renjun doesn’t feel so sure that Jaemin wouldn’t run off and save himself the first chance he got. Renjun could do that, he could crawl out from under the sink cabinet and out a window or something and then run, he’d live for sure, but Jeno and Jaemin’s fate would be in the hands of the person they were captured by.

 

Jeno would never leave them, but Jeno was never all that clever. If it were him in this cabinet, they’d all die, together. In all honesty that doesn’t sound too bad, but Renjun refuses to let some creepy country boy be the reason for their deaths.

 

No matter how long Renjun spends pondering the outcomes of today if it were someone else in his position, it doesn’t matter, because it’s not them who is in this situation, it’s him, so he has to be the one to decide what to do.

 

Renjun uses his functioning foot to push open the cabinet, sliding out of the wooden area and leaning his body weight on his awake arm. He attempts to pull himself forward in some kind of one-armed-army-crawl, suppressing a groan. They can’t know he’s here, he can’t get caught like this.

 

Every single decision he makes from this point on determines not only the fate of himself, but also of the only people he loves.

  
  
  
  


“Injunnnnnnnie,” Jeno calls out, tiny feet paddling their way across his expensive white flooring. “Injun where are you? I give up I can’t find you,” He whines, sighing exaggeratingly. “C’mon come out of hiding, injun.”

 

Renjun stifles a giggle against the back of his hand that’s already pressed to his mouth due to minimal moving space. Recently he discovered his small body fit inside the grandfather clock that lives in Jeno’s entryway. It ticks all day long (tick!tick!), driving the small boy bonkers. One day he had crawled inside the bottom of it to see if moving some gears around could fix it. Of course, that didn’t work, but by the end of it he had a new hiding place.

 

He was too good at this game, Jeno never managed to find him. Renjun isn’t even really sure why Jeno still asks to play, knowing he won’t find Renjun for hours at a time. Hide and seek is pretty much the only thing Renjun is good at, besides the recorder, he knew how to play ‘hot cross buns’, and he was only eight! He could also draw his entire family, dad and mom and him, but his teacher said he still had to practice, so he doesn’t know if he’s all too good at that yet.

 

“Injun, come out!” Jeno stomps his foot, Renjun can hear the thump loud and clear. Jeno is so close, less than a foot away from finding Renjun.

 

Renjun presses both hands tightly against his mouth, containing his fit of laughter. ‘Jeno is so close!’ Renjun’s heart is pounding, it’d be the first time Jeno found him. It’s so thrilling, the only time Renjun can put his skills to use and have fun at the same time.

 

“Injun, this isn’t fun anymore.”

 

Renjun’s smile falls. ‘But hide and seek is always fun! Why isn’t Jeno having fun?’ Perhaps it wasn’t as fun on the other side. If Jeno wasn’t having fun then how could Renjun?

 

Renjun pushes open the barrier separating him from Jeno and the rest of the home. Jeno sees him immediately and gasps, “you were in there!?”

 

Renjun nods, finally allowing himself to laugh, and Jeno joins. “You’re silly,” Jeno says, pronouncing his ‘s’ as more of a ‘th’.

 

Renjun is glad Jeno is smiling again, showcasing his missing front tooth. Jeno’s smile falls abruptly.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Renjun’s never been too good at being sneaky, that was  Jaemin’s specialty. Along with being a horrible liar, Renjun also had the incapability of being not suspicious. He tried to steal when he was younger, it was only a candy bar, but the wrapper was too loud and his pockets weren’t big enough. The store clerk let him keep it, but he was never to go back to that gas station again. He never did, even years later, too afraid and embarrassed.

 

Every step he takes forward feels like a punch in the gut, he pauses every time his foot comes in contact with the floor, taking a few seconds to breath and muster up the courage to continue. It’s a mystery how he’s avoided the creaky parts of the old flooring so far, but the closer he gets to the stairs the more anxious he gets. Renjun has no idea where kun and the other guy are, one wrong step and he’s discovered. Now, the stairs don’t seem to be the best option.

 

He turns around on the ball of his foot. The hallway in front of him has four doors, three closed and one broken in with an axe hanging out of it. The axe, take the axe! Renjun screams to himself, as if he were talking to some pixelated character that’s apart of a digital adventure game. Renjun was never a fan of video games, but spend long enough trapped in your room alone with a phone and eventually you’ve reached every part of YouTube, including gameplays. Renjun tries to think of this as a game so his heart doesn’t crawl out of his chest.

 

There’s a timer in his mind: Press ‘X’ to pick up axe. Press ‘O’ to ignore.

 

Renjun doesn’t know what to do, but any weapon, even one covered in his own blood, is better than no weapon. Mentally, he presses X.

  
  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  


Johnny is tired, to say the least. Hyuck has been running him around all day. “turn here, wait no, go back. Take a left- wait no, a right!”

 

it was only around 4 or maybe 5 pm, yet Johnny felt like an eternity since he planted his butt into the driver's seat of his truck. The sun was already starting to set, and Johnny had a bad feeling about doing this at night.

 

“Hyuck,” Johnny says, glancing over at the boy who is crossing locations off of the map.

 

The boy says nothing for a minute or so, focused on his current task. Then, finally, he says, “There’s three more places to check, one hotel and two farms.”

 

‘And what if they’re not there?’ Johnny wants to ask, he doesn’t. Instead, he questions, “Do you think they’ve left this area yet? Shouldn’t we check that traffic light camera website again?”

 

Donghyuck clicks his tongue. “There’s just three more places, Johnny, we can check the website once we’ve checked the last three places. M’kay?”

 

Johnny allows the corner of his lips to curl upwards at the teen’s bratty tone. Donghyuck was so young, not even fifteen yet, he already had so much potential, so much talent that no one paid any mind to. Johnny wanted to make him a star, give him a platform, opportunities that were previously out of his reach.

 

“Aye aye, captain. Where’s the next farm?”

  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  


It detaches easily enough from the hunk of wood it was jammed in, emitting just a few crunching noises, loud enough to make Renjun’s heart jump but not enough to further endanger him. Holding the tool in his hand made everything feel too real, less like a video game than he wanted. This very thing in his hand had been lodged into his back previously today. That thought reminds him of the pain he managed to forget about; like when you remember that you’re breathing, and start to pay attention to your inhales and exhales. It’s like a curse that lasts until you find something else to focus on.

 

The sting is intense, ache deep. Renjun creeps forward, letting each toe hit the floor slowly before entrusting his entire foot to rest flat on the surface of the floor. He doesn’t know which room to enter, and he might only have one shot at this, the door will probably creak, or his luck will run out and the old floorboards will tattle on him.

 

Renjun will probably die tonight, it’s more than likely. He was skinny, stick-like, hardly enough strength to swing the axe. He was smart, but not tactical, and doesn’t work well under pressure, he’s surprised he hasn’t passed out yet from the nerves alone. Renjun isn’t some super hero, or even a hero- without the super.

 

Though there are four doors, there is really only two options: sneak out the window in a room on the left and end up in front of the home, or go through a window in a room on the right and exit through the back of the home. Left, he could run to the barn easier- assuming that’s where Jeno and Jaemin are located, based on the sounds he heard while inside the cabinet. There were no cries or loud bangs, and Renjun isn’t sure if he heard someone re enter the home or if the two residents, Tae and Kun, left at separate times. Right, no risk of being seen immediately, but less convenient.

 

Renjun figures if he’s going to get caught, regardless of when, he was going to put up one hell of a fight. So have it be now or later, didn’t matter, he just needed to get to his lovers as soon as he could.

 

Renjun isn’t a hero, never has been. He’s not brave, or courageous like a hero would be. Courage is something that wimpy boys like himself lacked. And, he is a loser, been one his whole life. If he were a character in a teenager-targeted high school movie, he would be the one with glasses and acne and braces and whitie-tighties who always got picked last for dodgeball. Above all, Renjun is not a fighter, but if there were a time for him to be, it would be right now.

 

With his internal pep talk in mind, he picks the room closest to him on the left. The door doesn’t creak as expected, and his feet are met with a surprise- carpeted flooring.

 

There’s only one window in the entire room, already cracked open. It’s the only lighting in the room, but the daylight reveals enough for Renjun to see. It looks like it belongs to a young child. The walls are pale blue, star stickers litter the ceiling. The bed is half the size of Renjun tiny body, framed as a hot red race car, a big yellow “97” on the front.

 

He doesn’t have time to inspect the rest, there’s a task at hand. It sticks in his mind as he reaches the window, do they have a kid? There’s no way, where would it be right now? If Kun didn’t have a little boy then why was there a little boy’s room in his home?

 

Renjun shuts his eyes, now was not the time for those kinds of questions.

 

He perks the axe up against the wall, slipping his digits into the crevice and wrapping them around the edge, pushing the window open. It opens wide enough for him to easily slide out, resting his body into their roof and reaching back inside the room to pull out the axe.

 

Looking down, he realizes he’s not that far from ground, and if he jumped he’d probably be fine. You’ll be fine, Renjun, he tries I tell himself. It’s always been the small things that got to him the most, though.

 

Renjun has never been able to ride a rollercoaster, or climb a tree, or go up a ladder, or use a fancy glass elevator like the ones at nice malls, or look out of the window when he was inside a remotely tall building. Renjun throat feels tight, his eyes burn, and god he hates himself so much in this moment because out of all the things to be fearful of, he’s scared of the seven foot distance between him and the grass.

 

He army crawls towards the very edge of the roof, letting his head hang over it. Jeno and Jaemin could be being slaughtered right now and, oh, what was Renjun doing? Crying like a wimp because he was scared of a little height.

 

Renjun glances over the edge of the roof once more, breath hitching. He squeezes his eyes shut. He’s breathing too fast, heart rapidly beating in his chest.

 

Renjun holds his breath for four seconds.

 

One,

 

Two,

 

Three,

 

Four,

 

He inhales,

 

One,

 

Two,

 

Three,

 

Four,

 

He holds his breath once more,

 

One,

 

Two,

 

Three,

 

Four,

 

Finally, he exhales,

 

One,

 

Two,

 

Three,

 

Four.

 

The box breathing method, his mom used to do it when he was younger. She taught him how to do it, too, when he had his first breakdown on his first day of school. It helped him calm down, and remember how to breathe.

 

With the palms of his hands, he pushes himself forward, skin scraping against the hard bumpy surface of the roof, he keeps going until his legs dangle over the edge. Eyes tightly closed, he counts.

 

One, he reaches back to grasp the axe again.

 

Two, he cracks his ankle bones in preparation.

 

Three, he scoots just a little closer off the edge.

 

Four, legs kicking out, shoulders hunched forward, his body comes flying down.

 

His toes are the first thing to hit the ground, the impact of his entire body crushing them. Briefly, for barely a second, his feet are pointed, like a ballerina, and then he trips forward, knees hitting the ground before the rest of his body collided with the gravel. The axes gals out of his hand, bouncing a few inches away.  

 

If Renjun wasn’t currently in so much aching pain, he would probably be freaked out about the amount of germs near his genitals.

 

He lifts his head up, vision dotted and dizzy, he notices the sun is already setting. He must’ve been in that cabinet longer than he thought.

 

Limb by limb, wincing in the process, he manages to get himself on his knees. Grabbing the handle of the axe and using it as a mini can to life himself, he carefully gets the bottom of his foot flat on the ground. It’s insanely uncomfortable due to the rocky texture of the gravel, but it doesn’t hurt like he imagined it would. Shakily, he ends up in standing position.

 

The hill that leads to the farmhouse is steep, but Renjun is just glad he’s going down and not up.

 

He takes a step forward, something loud clicks behind him. Renjun freezes in place.

 

“Turn around, kid,” a voice demands. It’s not Kun’s.

 

Renjun does as told, albeit slowly. It doesn’t sink in at first, it’s like he goes a solid minute with no feeling before it hits him. Here he is, wounded and weak, barely outside the house and he’s already been caught.

 

Tae is standing there, on the porch, rifle in both his hands, looking at Renjun with watery eyes. Renjun puts his hands up, fingers spread and open, he wasn’t told to, but felt he should anyways.

 

If Tae were to shoot him right now, right in the gut where the barrel is aimed, Renjun would fall to the floor. He’d lay there until he bled out or Tae put him out of his misery. He’d die here, and no one would know. Renjun wonders how many people the rural duo has killed and gotten away with. Renjun, Jaemin, And Jeno had come here in need of help, instead they would receive the end of their lives. It was so confusing, what had they done to these people? Why were Tae and Kun dead set on murder?

 

Maybe he’s wrong, though, because Tae drops the gun. A better word to describe it would be chucks- he chucks the rifle towards Renjun. “Go,” he says, a tear finally falling from his eye. Tae let’s hit body slam against the wall, sliding down until he’s sitting defeatedly on the porch.

 

Renjun hesitates, slowly leaning down to retrieve the discarded weapon. He never lets his eyes leave Tae’s.

 

“Go, he took them to the barn. You don’t have much time before he chops them up.”

 

Renjun nods shakily, “T-thank you.” It doesn’t make sense as to why Tae would help him, but Renjun knows nothing about his life or connection with Kun, this might be his only break. Renjun knows what it’s like to have a murderer for a father.

 

Renjun turns around again, beginning to limp forward. Tae keeps talking. “He took me when I was little, y’know. Ate my mom and kept me for some reason. You’d think he’d have a thing for little boys, but nah, he was just lonely. So many people have come here and never left. I was scared to leave, I haven’t left this farm since I came here, I don’t even know what life is like out there. But I’m nineteen now, it’s time for me to leave.”

 

Renjun says nothing, doesn’t even turn back around to face Tae, but he stays still and listens.

 

“I hope you got good aim, kid, cause once he knows you’re there no one is leaving ‘till someone’s dead.”

  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  
  


“Jeno, do you love anyone?” The question is random, completely unrelated to the previous conversation, but it’s been on Renjun’s mind all day. He doesn’t like having unanswered questions, it makes him tick like the broken grandfather clock in Jeno’s entryway.

 

Jeno looks up from his cat. “I love him,” he says, pointing at the feline.

 

“No, I mean like your mom and dad and stuff,” Renjun clarifies.

 

Jeno shrugs, “Sure, I guess. What about you? Who do you love?”

 

Renjun fiddles with his hands behind his back. “My friends.”

 

Jeno laughs, “But I’m your only friend, silly!”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeno can’t breathe. His limbs feel too heavy to move an inch, and his eyelids keep trying to close. Every drag of air he takes in burns all the way down his dry throat and to his lungs. He’s in so much pain that he almost can’t feel it anymore.

 

Jeno knows he won’t make it out of this alive, he doesn’t have enough strength to sit up let alone defend himself. He prays, to anyone that will listen, that Jaemin and Renjun live. Jeno doesn’t know if Kun got to Renjun yet, but he can hear Jaemin screaming not so far away.

 

“You bastard!” Jaemin shouts, the sound coming from the very back of his throat.

 

Jeno can hear the struggling, the gurgle of blood and gasps for air. He wishes his hearing was gon along with his ability to feel.

 

“I’ll kill you, I swear to fucking god I’ll kill you,” Jaemin promises, but it’s muffled.

 

“You don’t scare me, boy,” Kun laughs. A deep chuckle that startles through Jeno’s entire body. “I’m gonnuh cut ‘chu up in tuh’ little pieces and eat you raw, you son of a bitch.”

 

Jaemin shouts one last time, and then there’s a loud thud, and a crack, the walls seem to shake. Jeno closes his eyes, laying still in hopes that he can somehow sleep through this, shut his eyes and never open them again.

 

A shot rings through the air, and Jeno feels like he’s having deja vu. The night he met the duo, only a week ago.

 

A week.

 

He still had so much left to do with his life, this couldn’t be the end.

  
  
  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  
  


“We’re here,” Donghyuck announced excitedly, practically bouncing in his seat.

 

“Hyuck, it’s almost eight maybe we should just come back tomorrow.”

 

Donghyuck glances at the radio, “it just turned seven! And we’re already here we can’t just leave. They could be right here and this could be our only chance, c’mon,” he whines. “I’m knocking on the door, leave if you want.”

 

Donghyuck exits the vehicle, slamming the door shut behind him. He stomps his way up the gravel road. Johnny rolls his window down, poking his head out to yell, “Donghyuck, just wait a second. “

 

Donghyuck does no such thing, Johnny rolls his eyes, muttering, “This fucking kid.”

 

Johnny decided to keep the truck running, it’s not like they’ll be here long anyways. He hops out, jogging after the teen.

 

When they make it passed the fence and to the door it’s already opened, a messy headed male making his way out. He looks to be only around eighteen.

 

“Excuse me, sir, do you own this place?” Hyuck questions, impatient.

 

The guy’s expression matches that of a deer caught in headlights. “Why are you asking?”

 

“I was wondering if a few of my friends may have stopped by at some point. Uh- three friends, all male, ones about 5’5” the others around 5’10” or something. You seen em?”

 

The man’s mouth hangs open. “I- uh, no so-sorry I was just heading out and I’ve been home alone all day. No boys have come around here I can assure you.”

 

From the looks of it, Donghyuck doesn’t believe it. “Why you leaving in a rush? Where ya going? Doesn’t look like you have a ride or nothing.”

 

The man takes a deep inhale, setting down his bag so he can wipe his sweaty palms on his dirtied pants. “Listen, I uh- yeah, I’ve seen them. But I ain’t tellin you nothin, not unless you let me tag along in your truck for a while.”

 

Donghyuck takes a step towards him. “Or, you could tell us right now before we call the police. “

 

Johnny places a firm hand on the teen’s shoulder, looking the stranger in the eye. “We’ll take you back to our place for the night, and in the morning drive you wherever you need to go, it’s getting late, does that sound alright?”

 

The man nods, a few more times than he probably needs to. “Yes but-“

 

“But you gotta tell us everything we need to know,” Hyuck cuts him off.

 

“Yeah, yes alright, I can do that.”

 

“Good, that was easy,” Hyuck hums, triumphantly. “Let’s go then.”

 

The three of them turn around, ready to venture back to Johnny’s truck, only to find it turning and driving off. It zooms off, barely avoiding the fence placed around the farm.

 

Johnny’s mouth hangs open, “My fucking truck.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the last one including the farm and expect a lot of fluff and angst. A Johnny and Hyuck Fuller should be on the way too. Sowwy it took foreverrrrrr UHG I know. Thanks for all the comments tho. I had to get this chapter out of the way so we can get to the GOOOOOD stuff. I think there’s three or four chapters before I wrap it up. You guys shall receive the fluff you deserve soon ! I promise


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me so long for this short chapter but I’ve been SO busy making money moves and shit but I’ve been reinspired to finish this. I figured out exactly how to end this and I’m excited. Also this ain’t proofread lol

Jaemin never properly passed his drivers test, and it shows. He swerved left and right, clouded mind unable to make him drive straight. He can’t get the vivid images out of his head long enough to steer correctly. 

 

Kun’s stomach exploding before his eyes, the impact of the powerful shotgun causing him to fall over. And then Renjun, skinny, wimpy, sweet Renjun, with a bloodied face and wide eyes. The way he lifted the axe up, using all his might to swing it back down, lodging it into any part of Kun that was in his reach. 

 

Renjun wouldn’t stop, he kept going and going and going until Kun was left faceless, limbs detached one by one. Even then, he wouldn’t stop, no matter how much Jaemin screamed. 

 

Jaemin did what he needed to do. 

 

He doesn’t even know whose truck this is or where it came from, but it doesn’t matter. It was sitting there with the keys inside, what was Jaemin supposed to do,  _ not  _ use it? He had to get out of there as soon as possible, and what better way than with a vehicle. 

 

Jaemin has no idea where he is, the sun has set and the sky has darkened significantly since he left the farm. He’s never been the best at driving, and he kind of wishes he had spent more time behind the wheel before he ran away, it sure would’ve been useful right now. 

 

The splashes of red won’t leave his mind. It didn’t even look like Renjun, it’s like he had transformed into someone else- some _ thing _ else. Jaemin can still see it, the furrow of his brow, the curl of his lips, and the look in his eyes. The sound of flesh being sliced open again, and again, rings through his ears. 

 

Jaemin can’t focus- not on anything else than the vision that replays in his head. Renjun,  _ his sweet Renjun,  _ was capable of  _ that.  _ Jaemin is a thief, a liar, and a perverted manipulative jackass, but he isn’t a murderer. He doesn’t have it in him, he knows he doesn’t, and he was certain Renjun didn’t either. 

 

There’s so little Jaemin knows about Renjun, he only knows what the boy chooses to display. Jaemin avoided asking questions for so long, not because he wasn’t curious, but because he was certain he knew Renjun. He thought Renjun was predictable, but evidently, he was wrong. 

 

He thinks of something Lani had told him once. 

 

_ “You can never really know someone. Like- they can be your childhood bestfriend that you’ve known for fifteen years or something, but they can have like a whole ‘nother life. Everyone will react differently to a situation, y’know? Like I could win the lottery and donate it all to charity, and you could win and buy a mansion and marry into the Kardashian’s.” _

 

Jaemin can’t even remember why she had been babbling on about that. She did that a lot, rambled on and on about anything she thought of, Jaemin really liked that about her. She never stopped questioning and learning, and she was always eager to share her information with Jaemin, whether it was interesting or not. He saw that in Renjun, too, and it reminded him of her. 

 

Jaemin wonders how Lani is doing these days. How her child-  _ their  _ child- is doing. 

 

Jaemin knows he can’t judge Renjun.

Jaemin knows now that if he could go back, just a few years back, that he’d do it. He’d kill Mr. Keyh. 

  
  
  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  
  


The intense stinging in his back and ache of dominant hand are the only things he can feel. They’re a reminder of what has happened, and what he has done. 

 

The sides of his vision are blurry and his head is fuzzy. There’s a ringing in his ear that seems to range in distance. His body seems to have solidified and glued itself in place. 

 

Movement is an impossible task. Reality seems to be a world away, blocked by a wall. He exists in a bubble, and he’s only simply floating in space, barely holding on to consciousness and life itself. 

 

His skin seems to slide off of his body, along with his nerves and feeling. All that’s left are his exposed bones and rapid thoughts. 

 

He has been painting ever since acrylics were in reach. He’s made many artworks in his short lifetime, too many to count  good or bad, is up to debate, though he had strayed from explicit imagery. As he struck the axe down over and over again, it felt almost no different than the strokes of his brush. The therapeutic release of pent up emotions and frustration and ecstasy had been the same, only more intense. 

 

Renjun had never painted so much red. 

 

Momentarily he found himself addicted to the sensation. It was almost impossible to stop himself. It almost didn’t feel like himself, yet at the same time he’s not sure he’s ever been so himself. He ran away because he was tired of boredom and he sought out for thrill. His father and his anxiousness had always kept him away from that, but now both of those things were gone. 

 

There were no consequences anymore, just the primal urge embedded in him to  _ hurt.  _ Perhaps it’s hereditary. 

 

Renjun wonders what his father would think, if he would finally be proud of his cowardly son for once. Renjun can hardly remember what Kun’s face had looked like before it were slashed open and smashed into the ground. The horrifically intoxicating sight of the remains of the older man’s head, laying on the dirt, almost becoming one with the floor underneath it, is all that Renjun can see. With non identifying features- or features at all- left, Renjun could envision the decapitated body as anybody he wanted. 

 

_ Anyone.  _

 

That alone gave him the taste of power he wasn’t aware he longed for.  _ Power _ . Something he was never able to harbor until that moment. The moment that he replays in his head, and it never gets old. Only more enticing and exciting. He wishes he could relive it over and over, knowing he’d never grow bored. 

 

Even though a twinge of nasty guilt bubbles in the pit of his stomach, he dismisses it. 

 

He was only doing what he had to do. 

  
  
  


Flashes of blue and red are the last thing he registers before letting himself begin to float away once again. 

  
  
  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  
  


“Fuck,” Jaemin mutters when he sees the car tailing behind him. “Fuck fuck FUCK.” His hand smashes against the headboard in desperate frustration. 

 

Jasmine has never had a license, and yet he has never been pulled over until now, and the very worst possible moment. He’s in a stolen car, covered in blood with two unconscious and possibly dead teens -who are currently filed missing  _ by the way!-  _ in the back seats. 

 

This was it, there would be no way to explain this. He was going to jail-  _ “prison, actually,”  _ Renjun echoes in his mind. “Yeah, well, you’d be coming with me,” He angrily whispers to the imaginary voice. 

 

Flashes of blue and red and the siren ringing in his ears remind him of his situation. He debates pushing harder on the gas pedal, but he knows it won’t get him far. Defeated, he pulls over, tires flattening the grass below. 

 

His fingers thrum against the wheel and his leg bounces furiously. He thinks of how this is his last moment free. Maybe in prison he’ll see his dad again, that’d be a pretty ironic punch in the face. 

 

Jaemin rests his head against the seat, closing his eyes in an attempt to relax, even just a little. Jaemin has sweat talked police many of times, he can do it this time, even with blood on his face and missing teenagers in the back of his stolen truck.

 

_ Yeah, I’m Na motherfucking Jaemin. I can swoon anyone. _

 

He slowly rolls down the window, his arm nonchalantly hanging out the opening. 

 

The officer slowly waltzes up, letting out a loud whistle. “Daaaaaamn,” he draws out. “you sure got a nice truck.” By now he’s reached the window, not blinking an eye when he sees Jaemin’s state. 

 

“Yeah,” Jaemin forces out a chuckle, “it’s new.”

 

The officer- sheriff actually, doesn’t question the blood, and that somehow makes Jaemin more anxious. 

 

The sheriff leans in and down so he’s eye level with Jaemin. He squints his eyes, “I ain’t ever seen you around here, boy. Don’t tell me you’re just drivin’ through. Ain’t nobody just ride through this town, especially at the speed you were goin.” He doesn’t directly ask, but Jaemin answers the hinted at question anyways. 

 

“I’m coming from Kun’s farm.”

 

“Oh,” the sheriff shakes his head at himself, almost as a way of saying ‘duh, why didn’t I think of that?’  “What happened to his last runner boy?”

 

Jaemin’s brow creases. He tries his best to know what he’s talking about. “They’ve been having…. problems recently.”

 

The sheriff chuckles, “I was waiting for the day that boy was gonna snap.”

 

Jaemin fake laughs, awkwardly smiling. 

 

“Okay, well, be more discreet with the bodies, an elderly woman stumbled across one last week. It's a shame, but you know how people get when they’re old, they ‘see things’.” He winks, nudging Jaemin’s upper arm with his elbow. “Okay well you get going now, and try to drive like a normal person, would ya?” He playfully pats the teen’s arm before walking off. 

 

Jaemin remembers something, sticking his head out to shout, “Hey is there a motel or anything nearby?”

 

“I’ll lead the way. “

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  


When Jeno wakes up his head is rested comfortably on an orange pillow. He’s in a room he’s never seen before. At first he thinks he’s in the hospital, but then he sees Renjun sleeping at his side, breath coming out in small huffs. 

 

Jeno sits up, his head banging. Otherwise than a headache, his body seems to be fine, and he’s thankful for that much. 

 

“Jaemin?” Jeno calls, voice low and cautious. 

 

A figure comes from the bathroom. It’s Jaemin, wrapped in a black robe. The rim around his eyes are puffy and red. Evidently, Jaemin has been crying. 

 

“Jaemin what happened?” Jeno questions, worry flooding his body, his own eyes starting to water. “Where are we?”

 

Jaemin lunges forward, wrapping his arms around Jeno and squeezing tight. “Ohmygod,” He wheezes, voice muffled in Jeno’s bare skin. Jeno has never seen Jaemin like this. “Kun attacked us and took us to his barn and then Renjun he, he,”

 

“I killed him.”

 

The duo break apart to look towards the monotone voice. Renjun is up, his body resting against the headboard. Jeno ignores his words, deciding he doesn’t care. Renjun wouldn’t hurt anyone unless he needed to, and Jeno was sure of it. Jeno crawls over to Renjun, nuzzling his head into Renjun’s neck, arm sneaking around his tiny waist. “Shhh,” Jeno says. “Thank you.”

 

Something about that makes Renjun cry, and then the room is filled with tears as all three boys weep; no one knowing if they’re crying because of what happened or because everyone else in the room is crying. 

 

“I was so scared,” Renjun’s voice cracks as he gets the word out. “I thought you guys were dead while I was hiding. I his for so long and I was scared to come out because I thought- I thought I’d be too late.”

 

Jaemin shushes the teen, pulling Renjun’s head into his chest, stroking the back of his hair comfortingly. “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. We’re here and it’s all okay.”

 

“How-“ Renjun hiccups, “How did we get here?”

 

Jaemin offers a tiny smile, “Well, after Kun died, I saw a truck outside. It was empty and running so I grabbed you guys and drove off.”

 

“And you just brought two unconscious naked boys into a hotel room, no questions asked?” Jeno questions. 

 

“No, I was pulled over and the sheriff helped me bring you guys in. He uh, he asked if I was Kun’s new runner boy.”

 

Renjun pulls his head back, eyes wide. “I knew it. Kun has been doing this for too long for it to go unnoticed. The sheriff must’ve been helping him. We can’t stay here long, the sheriff is going to go back to the farm and see that Kun is dead and then he’s going to come back here and kill us all!” Renjun exclaims, words jumbling together. 

 

“No no no, Renjun stop. No one is going to hurt us, I promise,” Jaemin reassures.

 

Renjun shakes his head, sitting up. A large blood stain lays beneath him and bleeds into the sheets. Jaemin grips the youngest’s shoulder. “Renjun you’re hurt. We have to patch you up.” 

 

Renjun’s response comes in the form of a mix of a whine and a grunt. 

 

“Jeno, help me carry him to the bathroom,” Jaemin instructs, wrapping his arms around Renjun’s chest and lifting from under his armpits. Jeno moves forward to grab Renjun by the legs. The two of them carefully carry the boy to the plain hotel bathroom, (Jeno tries his best, but Jaemin has to do most of the work) hoisting him up onto the closed toilet lid. 

 

“There should be a first aid kit in here somewhere,” Jaemin says, already searching the enclosed room. Shortly after, he pulls a red box out from under the sink. He practically slams it down on to the floor, opening it with little to no patience. “Turn him so I can see his back.”

 

Jeno grabs a barely conscious Renjun by the shoulders and turns him like Jaemin instructs. “Do you know what you’re doing?” Jeno asks, watching Jaemin dampen a towel with some clear and smelly substance from a brown bottle. 

 

“Kind of. I had to patch myself up quite a few times over the years, couldn’t afford medical bills and all that,” He murmurs, beginning to pat at Renjun’s open wound with the wet towel. Renjun doesn’t move an inch, front side slumped against Jeno. 

 

Jeno doesn’t get a good look at Renjun’s cut, but it doesn’t seem too deep, definitely deep enough to need proper doctors, but he knows that’s not an option right now. 

 

Jeno had gotten him, along with Renjun and Jaemin, into a mess that couldn’t be undone. There was no going back now, none of them could ever go home again. It was either continuing to run, or prison. Prison just wasn’t an acceptable option, especially for him. If he ever went home his parents would disown him immediately, wanting nothing to do with a criminal. 

 

He wishes he could just live inside a bubble with his two lovers, secluded from consequences and the rest of the world. But he knew his fantasy would never come true, and this is reality, a reality in which Jaemin was currently stitching Renjun’s axe inflicted wound shut. Jeno lived one crazy life thanks to these two, and despite the cell that awaits him, if he were to go back in the past, he wouldn’t change a thing. 

 

Renjun awakes again after the second stitch, squirming in pain and discomfort, crying out. Jeno comforts the boy as best he can, but it’s not much. Though to be fair, Renjun had an axe lodged into his back by some old redneck cannibal, and if Jeno were him, he wouldn’t be so easily calmed either. 

 

“Distract me,” Renjun manages to whimper out. “Please.”

 

Jeno combs his fingers through the boy’s hair, “Remember when we used to sneak into my dad’s office?” Renjun hums In response. “I wanted to go in there because it was forbidden, but you just wanted to go in there to look at his books,” he chuckles at the memory. “You were always such a smart and bright child. I looked up to you so much as a kid, you were everything I wanted to be and so much more. When your mother quit and you left, though I might’ve cried, I wasn’t sad, because I knew- I knew that I’d see you again. And I did, I fucking did. You’re here right now and that alone is a miracle. You were my best friend, and I loved you. I still do. I love you, Injun.”

 

Renjun says nothing, clinging to Jeno’s body as he sniffles. 

 

Jaemin finishes the stitches, reaching for bandages. “I can’t help but to feel just a little left out,” he jokes, laughing bitterly. 

 

Renjun responds before Jeno can. “My mom used to be a maid for Jeno’s family. She got Jeno sick, and then I wasn’t allowed anywhere near him. I didn’t see him again until that night,” Renjun explains, referring to the night of the robbery. 

 

Jaemin can’t help the question that leaves his lips. “Did you know that was his house?”

 

Renjun separates himself from Jeno, wincing. “Yes.”

 

Jaemin finishes patching up Renjun as they all sit there in silence, confused and conflicted. 

 

A violent knocking is heard from the front door. 

  
  
  


-_-

  
  
  
  


Donghyuck and Johnny find a Jeep parked next to the barn. The keys and a backpack are left inside. 

 

“Why would they steal my truck if they already had a fucking car?” Johnny asks in disbelief and confusion. 

 

“And why were they in such a hurry, anyways?” Donghyuck adds. 

 

“There is no time for questions! We have to go, you can ask your friends all the questions you need when we  _ actually  _ get to them,” Taeyong snaps, palms shaking and forehead glistening with sweat. 

 

Donghyuck knows he’s right, so he pulls Johnny into the driver’s seat and hops into the passenger side. Johnny tosses Donghyuck his phone, “Check the traffic light cameras, see if they’ve already left town.”

 

“No need,” Taeyong buts in, “They’re injured and couldn’t have gotten far. The closest hospital is over an hour so there’s only two places they can be; the police station or a bed and breakfast a few blocks away.”

 

“Well,” Johnny sighs, “Bed and breakfast it is.”

 

As they drive Donghyuck grabs the Jansport backpack from the ground of the vehicle, plopping it in his lap. 

 

“You sure you wanna go through that?” Johnny asks.

 

Donghyuck provides to response, unzipping the bag. First thing he sees is a box of syringes, most emptied out but two more remain. The liquid inside is dark brown, but some yellow shines through in the light. “What is this?”

 

“Don't touch that,” Johnny says , eyes constantly switching from the road to the boy seated beside him. Johnny rolls down the windows, as if to get out an unwanted aroma, grimace crossing his features. 

 

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, sparing the box one last glance before setting it aside. He blindly reaches his hand back inside the now lighter bag. His hand touches a warm metal, wrapping his hand around it he pulls it out. By the barrel, he wields a gun, it’s not the first he’s ever seen, but it shocks him nonetheless. 

 

Johnny looks at it, gasping and losing his grip on the wheel. They swerve, car swinging into a full circle before Johnny is able the control the vehicle once again. 

 

Donghyuck, who neglected his seatbelt, slams into the door, a sharp pain going through his shoulder and arm.  _ That’s gonna bruise.  _ The gun falls from his grasp and goes flying out the opened window, hitting the ground in a place he can’t see. 

 

He used his now free hand to clutch the edge of his seat, heart pounding as Johnny stabilizes the Jeep’s movement. 

 

“Fuck, I’m sorry, is everyone okay?”

 

“Yes, it’s fine Johnny, just keep driving.”

 

In the end, Hyuck never gets to see the list resting at the bottom of the bag with “ _ The bucket list”  _ written at the top and underlined twice. 

  
  
  
  


Johnny’s truck is spotted outside the bed and breakfast, exactly like Taeyong said it would be. Hyuck and Johnny are hurriedly escorted out of the car by Taeyong. “Good luck,” the strange teen says as he drives off, almost crashing into at least three things on the way. 

 

Johnny places a comforting hand on Hyuck’s back, leading him to the door closest to their stolen vehicle. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Johnny says. 

 

“I just need to see them, and we at least have to get your keys back.”

 

“Atta boy,” Johnny smiles warmly, stepping aside to let Donghyuck take his time. The small boy raises his fist to knock, hesitant. He builds up the courage and decides, fuck it. 

 

He rapidly pounds on the door hard enough to send pain shooting through his fist. This would come to be one of the worst decisions of his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know if u have questions or anyting bye lob u. The book is coming to an end but I want to add a lot of fluff and feelings because I feel like there’s not nearly enough in this series so muah


End file.
